Pursue What Is Good

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother's Day Sunday, May 7, 2023.

Believers are instructed in a multitude of ways to do what is right and good, but as the Lord defines, not as we define it.  Therein is the rub.  Many people think that they are doing what is right, but they are not using the mind of Christ.  Instead, they have a different way of thinking, a different "wisdom."

Today, we have become so messed up on what is good that some in our government think that it is good to subvert the duty of parents to raise their kids, and seek to scam them into things like transgender surgeries.

It has never been easy to be a girl who is facing the reality of becoming a woman, or a boy who is facing the reality of becoming a man.  However, this is far more perilous in a society that is losing its moorings on the shores of truth.  Such young people need to be encouraged to have faith and trust God in this transition because God has good things for them that happen precisely because it is tough.  In fact, we should recognize that it is a kind of signature of God to create things in such a way that we will need to give ourselves to a it with a faith in Him.  It is not a blind leap of faith, but it is faith nonetheless.  I walk forward bravely trusting that God will use the hard situations in order to lead me to good things.

We can be frozen by fear.  Of course, no one stands still in life physically.  You will become a woman, but you can be stuck at the emotional level of a child in an adult body.  This tragedy is all too common, but it is not what God has planned for us.

Let's look at our passage.

Honor Mothers (v. 12-13)

Paul is writing to the Thessalonians, and he is not so much writing about mothers as he is writing about those who perform functions within the greater body of the Church of Jesus.

I want to remind us of the 5th Commandment in Exodus 20.  "Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you."

I will note two things about this command.  First, the command is addressed to the individual "you."  God is speaking directly to us as individuals and not just to society.  It is not "society's job" to honor mothers.  It is mine.  Yes, if we have a whole society of individuals who are honoring mothers, then we will see that society reflecting that honor.  This doesn't change my primary point.

The second thing is that the Hebrew word for "honor" has the sense of weight and even value. Now, value for things in this life is transitory.  However, it is often the blurred lines between price and value that cause the trouble.  Price is what I am willing to pay for something.  Value is the thing that is obtained.  No price is too high to pay for something that has great value (proverbs 31).  Thus, we need to recognize that moms (parents) have a heavy, valuable, place in our life.  Being a mom, and doing the things that moms do, is an important, heavy thing in our society, more important that any job you can do for our corporations today. 

Our society has done a great disservice to this Republic by treating moms as if they are nothing.  If we really understood just how incredibly heavy, important, and valuable being a mom was no one would want to do it.  This is similar to the way Jesus talks about how important fidelity in marriage is in Matthew 19:8-10.  The disciples respond that “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  We tend to treat the heavy things of God lightly.  We do so at our own harm, and to the detriment of others.

There is so much dysfunction in our homes these days that it requires us to deal with the question.  What does it mean to honor a mom who doesn't deserve it?  Many have been hurt by parents, and only respond to God's call to honor parents with more hurt.  I do believe that we are meant to wrestle with this.  Just as a parent of an undisciplined adult-child wrestles with what it means to love in the current situation, so too an adult child has to wrestle with what it means to honor in the case of a parent who has been absent, or hurtful.  The honest wrestling before God helps us to become something better than we would have.  In fact, it helps us to become more like God.  The key is not to cast off the value or importance of what they were and are in your life.  You can't pretend they don't exist (i.e., act as if they are nothing) because they do exist.  Your heart and mind know that God wanted something better from them in their dealings with you.  Instead of walling them off with pretense, wrestle with doing what is right as God defines it.  Care for them in their declining years even if they failed to care for you in even minimal ways during your childhood.  By doing so, you witness to them of God's righteousness, and His offer of forgiveness and salvation for those who repent.  Ask God to help you to love them even though they are not lovely.  Ask God to help you to care for them even when they do not care.

In Thessalonians 5, Paul most likely is thinking of Church leaders, but he keeps the wording purposefully general.  Moms fit this category of "those who labor" among us.  The labor of being a mom is particularly close to the heart of God.  Mom's represent that one who labors through sorrow to bring a child into the world and then nurtures their life physically, emotionally, and mentally.  She represents a part of God's heart towards us.  God always intends the labor of our life to be a labor of love.  Yet, love is a very trying virtue, just as labor is a trying virtue.  Labor tries and tests us; it refines us, if we will lean into the purpose that God intends in it.

Think about all of the hard work that goes into being a mom.  It is no wonder that countless young women are fearful and intimidated at becoming a mom.  However, all labor has a way of bringing more out of us than we believed possible because we are capable not only doing more than we think, but also of becoming more than we are.  You can grow in ways that your flesh doesn't want to grow, but God designed for you to do, if you trust Him.

I am connecting the word honor with the word "recognize" in verse 12.  It involves not only seeing the labor that moms do, but also perceiving the value and heavy importance they have in our lives.  We need to see moms as God sees them.  None of them are perfect, but they are all incredibly important!  We only harm ourselves when we act as if it is something light and meaningless.

Moms not only have labor to do, but they also have authority from the Lord.  They are "over" their children "in the Lord" in order to "admonish" them.  Parents are directly authorized by God Himself.  He is the source of all proper authority.  This begins in the inherent ability of a man and a woman to conceive and to birth a child.  This natural ability demonstrates a God-given right that women have to birth a child.  When we act upon our right to have a child, it then activates a duty that we have to that child.  All rights have corresponding duties that go along with them.  If we exercise rights without doing the duties, then we create a mess.  The same God who gives us rights will also hold us accountable to the duties that we have in them.

It is tragic to see the many ways that the State is elevating itself and transgressing this primary authority of parents.  However, we cannot place all of the blame upon the State.  There is a reasons that we are here.  The rise of dysfunction within society overflows the home and comes out into our schools, our streets, and public in general.  If a child is being abused by a parent or parents, then the people in that community should step in to help the child.

However, here is the problem.  What is your definition of abuse?  In short, if you insert yourself in a situation in which another person has authority from God, then you had better be correct, i.e., using God's definition of abuse.  It is a holy ground between that parent and God, and God will hold them accountable.  If you step in, you had better take your shoes off (holy ground), be prayed up, and actually be led by God to intervene. 

When the State intervenes, its definition is not the same as God's.  Yes, there are some situations in which we can say that the State really did stop a horrible situation (their definition somewhat coincided with God's).  Yet, in other ways, the State is only creating another abusive environment in which parents are increasingly unable to protect their children.

It does not good to complain.  Instead, we must focus on doing our duty to the children in our lives, and helping moms to rise up to their labor in the Lord.

Paul then says in verse 13 to "esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake."  Esteem deals with how we think about people.  We are to think highly of them, and to do so "in love."  Love tests us all, as I wrote earlier.  Parents are to lead their kids in what it means to love.

Circling back to the parent who has done hurtful things, we should note that we are more likely to label something as hurtful when we are younger.  We can get angry that our parents ground us, or discipline us in any form.  Generally, people grow up and look back to recognize that their parents were simply trying to love them by teaching them something more important than immediate gratification.  Of course, they are not perfect in their attempts to do what is best for us, but neither are we perfect.

This understanding that we should esteem and honor people for the sake of the work that they do is important.  Like an arm-chair quarterback, we can look back and still be too harsh in our judgment.  In this sense, most people just need to have kids for themselves so that they will understand that it is a tough job helping a young person transition into adulthood.  We should respect and esteem that they had a difficult job, and that we ourselves had an impact on how difficult it was.  This should never excuse abuse, but it puts the labor of parenting in perspective.

The last phrase of verse 13 says, "be at peace among yourselves," in the NKJV.  That first part is actually a verb that is active.  It is not focused on merely resisting the urge to make waves, or be frantic.  Rather, it is calling us to actively be working for peace, a peacemaker, with others.  This is a big part of a mom's job, especially if there are multiple kids in the home.

Some people are not interested in peace, or they just don't know how to come to terms with peace.  In such cases, the best that a person can do is to put the offer on the table, and then to be open for change down the road.  You may have to give them some space.  However, always be praying for change, and ready to forgive when true repentance comes around.

I think peace is a minimum that God desires between us.  Even more, we should walk in love with one another.  Yet, we could say that peace is simply one facet of the virtue of love.  It is the best basis for peace with someone.  Absence of turbulence is nice, but we are called to active peacemaking.

Pursue what is good (v. 14-15)

Families really do need to hold on to what Paul says in verse 14.  Pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.  Our flesh will always bend things towards ourselves, even if just a little bit.  As I said earlier, we can also bend the definition of what is "good" too much towards ourselves.  We really need a relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit in order to hear the Word of God, and sense the conviction of the Holy Spirit in regards to what the "good" is that needs to happen in each situation.   This should be our prayer.  "Lord, please show me what will make for the good both for myself and for everyone involved."

Part of pursuing what God says is good will involve warning the "unruly."  This word pictures a soldier who is out of ranks and may even be AWOL.  This is similar to the biblical concept of submission.  It has the idea of taking your proper place within the ranks and performing the proper duty.  Thus, the unruly person  is refusing to embrace their proper place and duty.    This can be a child who refuses to listen to their parents, or a government who oversteps its bounds of authority. 

Those who castigate the whole biblical idea that God created young girls to grow up and become adult human females who are able to conceive, give birth, and raise a next generation to worship God and bless others, should slow down and think through what they are doing.  They are destroying the very foundation and fabric of what it means to be a woman- and a man for that matter.  They may rejoice in that because they want to replace it.  However, when you fight against the nature that God hard-wired into humans, you never come out on top.  Any society we try to create to replace one built upon a biblical world-view will end up being sub-par.  They will find themselves working directly against God, and they will have to give answer for that to Him.

Thus, a warning from a parent to a child involves cautioning against certain behaviors.  We do this socially when we warn people at a wedding that what God is putting together no one should take apart, those in the marriage included.  God will hold you accountable for working at odds to His purpose.

Yet, admonition, or warning, also involves teaching the good that a person should embrace.  We need to understand and promote God's good purpose in becoming a mom, for her, for the children, for the husband, and for society.  

All of us come into the world in a weak position.  If someone doesn't help us, we will die.  God's design makes it clear that the most likely people to take care of that child are the people who came together in love and produced that child.  Yes, the child will affect society and can be an asset or liability to it.  However, that does not put society in the best position to control the raising of that child.  The best scenario for any child is a male and female committed to a life-time, loving relationship, preparing them for life.

Next, Paul tells us to comfort the faint-hearted.  It pictures those who have lost heart and are discouraged.  The word "comfort" here is often used in the context of someone who has had a loved one die.  Mary and Martha were comforted by their neighbors when their brother Lazarus died.  The most common way that we comfort the bereaved is through stories about the deceased.  A young mother metaphorically is wrestling with the "death" of a past youthful life with little responsibility.  She needs us to comfort her, rather than to berate her.  Young moms need to hear the stories of older moms' and their own transitions.  It isn't easy, but it isn't as impossible as your heart and mind are telling you at the moment.  There is joy on the other side of the hard work of today, all along the way.

Paul then tells us to support the weak.  This deals with people who are in a weak position, whether through broken relationships, financial troubles, past trauma, etc.  This is similar to the faint-hearted.  We are told to support them.  Instead of looking down on young mothers, we should come along side of them and help, be a support.  What is it they need?  Experienced moms are in the best position to know how to come alongside of a young mom and support her.  In fact, mothering itself could be defined by helping the weak out of compassion and love.

We are also to be patient with all.  Patience here is the long-fuse term.  Yes, we need to hang in there and not quit easily, but we also need to restrain ourselves from "blowing up" to easily.  All relationships are made worse when we have a short fuse with one another.

Patience does not mean being silent and never dealing with issues.  Often, when a person blows up, it is because they have not talked about things that they should have.  Thus, patience ties in with peacemaking.  Whether communication isn't happening, or a person just doesn't change, we easily become weary with other people.  Understanding that moms who are actively raising kids are under a lot of stress all of the time should be in the back of our minds at all times.  No, they are not the only ones who deal with stress, but that does not undercut the point.  It only makes it more important for us all to work for peace and be patient with one another.

Of course, trauma and past hurts can make any relationship difficult and requires great patience on the part of the other party.  Sometimes both people have past hurts and difficulties.  Let us love one another through patience.

Lastly, Paul calls for pursuing what is good for yourselves and for all.  Another way to say this is to reject a "pay back wrong for wrong" attitude.  It is almost a knee-jerk response for us to give back to others what they are dishing out.  However, this never brings about lasting and good change.

As the culture wars heat up, it is easy to see people as the enemy, and to justify all manner of actions against others.  There are definitely some who have given themselves over to doing evil to others, but Christians are not to respond in kind.

There is a difficult and heavy thing here that we need to carry.  We don't want to do so, but the Lord calls us to it.  It is called a burden.  We need relationship with God as the foundation to a relationship with others, especially when they are being an enemy to us.

When we resist people who are doing unrighteous things, we must do so with an eye to helping them to see the truth.  We don't do them any favors by hiding in our closets or retreating from the public debate.  However, we need the wisdom of God as to how and when to interject the truth.

Our attitude can sour with a sense of hopelessness.  "It doesn't work...It won't do any good!"  Listen, you cannot change society, but you can make a difference in the experience of people in your sphere of influence.  Take time to support the moms in your life regardless of how well they have done in the past because their labor is incredibly important to our families and to our Republic.  If enough moms are encouraged to do a godly job in raising the next generation who knows what is possible in this land.

Pursue Good audio