The Proverbs-31 Man

Proverbs 31:1-9.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on June 19, 2022, for Father’s Day.

Today, we will focus on the Proverbs-31 man, and I don’t mean a man who is fortunate enough to marry a Proverbs-31 woman. 

No, we are talking about King Lemuel in verses 1-9.  You may even now be racking your brain trying to remember exactly who King Lemuel is.  This is the only place in the Bible where he is mentioned.  In fact, Lemuel means “king of the Lord,” or “king to the Lord.”

It is important for Christian men, and especially fathers, to focus on following the wisdom of King Lemuel’s mother so that we might be the leaders that He has called us to be.

Let’s look at our passage.

The path of a man who listens to wisdom

Proverbs is essentially written to supply wisdom for those reading it.  In this passage, we are given the instruction between a mother, and her son.  It seems most likely that Lemuel is remembering instruction that took place before he was to become king.  His mother took time to instruct him knowing that he would one day become king.  Perhaps, Lemuel is a nickname that is given to remind him that he is to be a king for the Lord, and not for selfish purposes.  It would be important for him to live, to walk, and to decide wisely.  You could say that the stakes are even higher because his life will impact and influence a whole nation.

It is interesting that wisdom is personified as a woman throughout the book of Proverbs.  This young prince receiving instruction from his mother is strengthened with the connotation that his mother represents wisdom.  All children need parents that will speak wisdom into their life and not folly- remember that folly is also represented as a woman.

As children grow, there is a manifold witness to them.  First, their parents attempt to teach them about life to one degree or another.  Second, a child should be introduced to the Scriptures by their parents.  It is the wisdom of God being witnessed to them.  Obviously, many parents do not teach their kids about the Word of God, so it is the duty of believers to share God’s Word with others.  This is an important witness to wisdom that God intends for them to have.  Third, life itself is the final witness to children about wisdom.  The rebukes of life are pictured in many proverbs.  As a child grows, lives, and makes decisions, they receive feedback from the world around them.

Of course, all kids will reach a point where they will have an adversarial relationship with the wisdom that has been given to them by others.  There will always be a part of humans that seeks to know for themselves.  However, the wise man is one who listens to wisdom.

The Past: We might be inclined to treat verse 2 as simply poetic address, but that wouldn’t be wise.  Lemuel’s mother addresses him in a way that emphasizes his connection to what has come before him.  She puts the question, “What?” to him three times with a different address each time. What is the lesson that she has for him?  She reminds him that he is first her son (and, of course, the son of his father).  She desires him not to only be her son, but even more to be a son of wisdom who lives wisely.  Kids must be instructed while they are young because these are the days when it is most clear to them that they need parents.  A wise parent will not wait until they think their kid is old enough to receive teaching.

Secondly, she addresses him as the son of her womb.  She went through sorrows and labored to bring him into this world.  Though a child didn’t ask to be born, they should still have a healthy respect for the difficulty that their parents, and ancestors went through to bring them into the world.

Lastly, he is a son of her vows.  This picture of a woman making a covenant, or vow, before God in order to obtain a child is all throughout the Bible.  Each of the patriarchs had wives who struggled to have children.  Of course, not all vows are about having children.  Still, she reminds him of her relationship with God and his existence as the proof of that relationship.

Wise men understand their connection to what has come before them in their parent’s home, their hometown, nation, and world.  We should humbly and wisely stand on the shoulders of the past knowing that those who created it are our foundation.

Women:  In verse three, Lemuel was warned about not giving his strength to women.  It is important not to make this say more than it is saying.  First, what is meant in the phrase “give your strength to women?”  Second, we should notice that it is “women,” a plural word.

It would seem strange for this proverb to be warning a man against women and then turn around to point out the quintessential woman, who should be desired by any man, in verses 10 and following.  You might see that proverb as an instruction of a parent to a daughter (be like this), or to a son (this is the kind of girl you want). 

“Charm is deceitful; beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she will be praised.”  Finding a woman (singular) that is a good wife takes wisdom and prayer.  Spending the strength of your life with her to bring glory to God is a perfect picture of Christ and his Church. 

So, what is Lemuel being warned of?  He is being warned of focusing the mental and physical strength of his life on pursuing women (plural) and the pleasures therein.  Heaping up a harem of women will only destroy the good that a king can do.  What does it profit a man to have pursued and enjoyed many women in life, and yet to have lost his own soul?  Becoming king is not about getting everything your flesh desires.  It is about glorifying God and serving His People.  A good woman can be a strength to a good man when they are both focused on glorifying God in all that they do.

Intoxication:  Verses 4-7 highlight the error of intoxication.  A man who listens to wisdom is not trapped in intoxication.  Another image would be bitten by intoxication.  Proverbs 23:32-32 pictures wine like a serpent in the cup that stings those who drink too much of it.  “Do not look on wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly; at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper.”  Lemuel’s mother warns him that it is important that a king not be given to drinking and intoxication.

Of course, the mother recognizes that there are situations where alcohol might be useful.  She states that wine should be given to those who are painfully dying, or those who are bitter of heart, so that they might forget their sorrow.  However, this is not projected as an answer for those people with any hope in it.  If you are painfully dying, or in the midst of bitter sorrow, God holds a better hope out to us than just alcohol. Yet, for our purposes here, this is not the point that Lemuel’s mother is making.  She is concerned that he not become a drinker.

Intoxication affects our memory.  We would forget the Law of God, and we might pervert justice that is our responsibility.  People who love their family sometimes become stuck in the grip of addiction.  Yet, the sad truth is that alcohol and drugs cause us to forget the thing we should remember.  Under their influence, we lose our inhibitions and do things that are harmful to us and the people we love.  How careful we should be in our lives when people depend on us. 

You might be inclined to protest that you are not a king.  In fact, as a Christian, there is a lost world out there that doesn’t even know that it depends upon Christians who walk soberly and work to bring the light of Christ into their lives.  People’s lives depend upon the decisions we make, whether wise or foolish.  Christ is the ultimate King, Prophet, and Priest.  However, we are to be learning to become more like him.  Therefore, there is a lesser sense in which we have a priestly, prophetic, and kingly duty to lead a lost world to the LORD!

Judging righteously and helping the needy:  Verses 8 and 9 give the true purpose of anyone who is in a position to affect others, whether a parent to a child, or a king to the people.  We should be a voice for those who are about to die before those who care not for their death, and may be even causing it.  This death may be literal or metaphorical.  Christ pleaded the cause of the lost before the religious leaders of his day.  With the woman caught in adultery, Christ reminds them of the gravity of executing someone for sin when you have sin in your own life.  Yet, Christ was not promoting adultery, or any fornication for that matter.  He tells her to go and sin no more. 

Nobody was righteous there that day, but Jesus.  The woman wasn’t righteous and the religious leaders were not righteous.  However, she was the one that no one was speaking up for.  God loved her and didn’t want her to die and go into eternity lost.  Open your mouth is repeated twice.  We cannot be silent, even when powers may attempt to silence us. 

Yet, we should not be shouting our truth to power out of self-serving motivations.  Rather, we are reminded to make righteous judgments.  In John 7:24, Jesus said, “Do not judge according to appearance but judge with a righteous judgment.”  It is not enough to plead the natural cause of the natural poor and needy.  Even greater is the problem of being in spiritual poverty, and being held in bondage by the powers of this world and our own sin.  May all Christian men aspire to be such a man as Jesus was because this is precisely the kind of man that Lemuel’s mother was instructing him to be.

Proverbs-31 Man audio