Honor Your Mother

Exodus 20:12; Ephesians 6:2-3.

This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother’s Day Sunday, May 10, 2026.

When it comes to honoring others, we have become a culture that is really bad at it.  It is not that we don’t honor things, but that we do it superficially and in superficial ways.

We love to exalt people as heroes quickly.  We love to idolize them and try to be like them.  However, we also love to tear them down quickly, even crucify them.

The Bible shows us a better way.  Honor is something that comes from God, and we do it best when we do it as He has shown us.

Let’s look at our passages.

We are to honor our mother

There is no way around the Bible’s command to honor our mothers.  Some may challenge that this is part of the Law of Moses in the Old Testament, and we are not under the law.

This same argument is used in a different form when atheists accuse Christians of picking which laws in the Old Testament they follow and which ones they don’t.

This is not what Christianity is doing.  In fact, this represents an intellectually dishonest or lazy attempt at summing up the New Testament.  The New Testament writers are very clear on why some laws from the Old Testament are still given to Christians and why others are not.

To honor your mother (and father) is not part of the dietary laws, i.e., which foods you can or can’t eat.  The dietary laws were not given because of something inherently bad about certain foods.  They were given as a spiritual teaching aid.  Acts 10 shows us exactly why Christians do not continue the dietary laws.  The death and resurrection of Jesus provided for the cleansing of all people (Jews and Gentiles).  This was the spiritual reality that the dietary laws represented. 

The ritual and sacrificial laws were also fulfilled in the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross.  Christians offer spiritual sacrifices to God, but we do not try to build temples and sacrifice animals.  Jesus is our once-and-for-all perfect sacrifice.

There is one more category of laws in the Old Testament, moral laws.  Murder did not become acceptable for Christians because they are no longer “under the law of Moses.”  Murder is always wrong, and so is dishonoring your parents.  These are moral issues that have selfish motivations surfacing from our hearts.

Throughout the New Testament, the apostles reiterate (like Paul does in Ephesians 6:2-3) these moral laws.  Christians do not do them because it is in the Old Testament.  We do them because God wants us to love one another (i.e., not act out of selfish motivations).  A good way to understand the 10 commandments of Exodus 20 is to recognize that they show us how to love God (commandments 1-4) and how to love people (commandments 5-10).

This is not a double standard, nor is it a legalistic following of the Law.  It is following the Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit that He has poured out into our lives.

We can note that Jesus was a man who honored others, even when they dishonored him.

So, what exactly is honor?  The Hebrew word behind our translation has the sense of that which is heavy and has glory.  Your mother has the glory of being a very heavy thing in your life that should not be treated lightly.  Honor has to do with who your mother is, but also about your proper response to that place of honor.

Of course, your mother is not God.  Her honor is not greater than God’s honor.  Still, her honor comes from God Himself who made us a species that propagates the next generation through moms and dads.

If you think that your mother isn’t valuable in your life, then you need to change and work on giving value, weight, honor to who and to what she is in your life.

How a person honor has some changes as they mature.  An infant can’t understand this issue.  We don’t expect them to “honor their mother.”  Yet, an infant grows into a toddler and a young child.  Children need to show honor by respecting and obeying their parents (Ephesians 6:1; Colossians 3:20).

I guess it is theoretically possible for a mom to tell a child to do something bad or illegal.  However, that is the exception and not the norm.  Even non-Christian moms generally do not tell their kids to do such things.  Yes, extreme actions create extremely difficult circumstances that affect how we show honor.  This does not remove our responsibility to honor our moms.

Does anyone perfectly honor their mom and dad?  I don’t think so.  In fact, even moms and dads didn’t perfectly honor their mom and dad.  We need grace both ways, from parents to kids and from kids to parents.  Of course, kids don’t always understand this until they grow up and have a family of their own.

Teenagers especially kick against obeying their parents.  They are knocking at the door of adulthood and desire to jump into it too quickly.  They recognize that they don’t always think like their parents.  Yet, they still need to honor their parents through obedience while they are living with them.

It may seem to take forever, but kids eventually become adults.  What does it mean for us to honor our mothers when we are adults?

When a child moves out and starts their own life, they still need to honor their parents.  You should still respect them, but the area of obedience drops off.  You are no longer a child in their home.  Instead of giving commands, parents now become a source of valuable counsel in your life.  You honor them when you leave room for their counsel or even seek it out.  Of course, parents should honor their adult children by recognizing the role of parenting has changed.  Counseling others is an area fraught with pitfalls.  Moms can make the mistake of giving counsel in dishonoring ways, and adult children can make the mistake of receiving counsel in dishonoring ways.

Treat their input and counsel as valuable.  Hear them out without hurt and anger.  Yet, let it be what it is, a more experienced adult giving advice to a less experienced one.

Parents can mean well, but they are not God.  They don’t always know what is best for you.  Pray over their counseling.  Seek God’s wisdom on how to incorporate it.  Yet, you are seeking God’s will.  In the end, we honor God above even our parents.

There is one more change that happens.  When your parents enter their declining years, you should respect and care for them.  Not every parent declines in the same way.  Some do so quickly versus slowly.  Some decline at a relatively young age versus at an old age.  Some require great amounts of help and care while others require very little.  Yet, they will all need assistance.

This is a role reversal in some ways.  Yet, your parents do not become your children.  You should respect their wishes and desires while counseling them on decisions they need to make.  You should work hard to help them retain their dignity as much as possible.  In fact, it is important to stay connected to your parents enough that you know when you need to step in and start assisting them.

In some ways, you are paying them back for the years they took care of you when you couldn’t do it for yourself.  Yet, this is not an equation.  Some kids can chafe at how long and how much care a parent needs.  Do I only “owe” them the same number of years I was in their home?  This is a dishonorable way of approaching the issue.

You are honoring the place that God has given them in your life.  God wants you to care for them.  This is not to be treated lightly and cast aside.  Don’t kick against God’s will in your life but learn to embrace it with a love for Him and a love for your mother.

What if my mom (my dad) lived a dishonorable life?  What if there is nothing to respect and honor?  It is true that this presents a tough situation for you.  Some moms abandon their kids and then show up in their adult years.  Some moms were there but were hurtful and harmful in your life.  Maybe they changed later or maybe they didn’t.  These are all tough circumstances.  What does it mean to honor in these cases?

This brings up the issue of our motivation.

The motivation for honor

On one hand, we can simply say that God tells us to do it, and so we must do it.  It is true that to honor our parents in their declining years is to honor the God who tells us it is important.

On the other hand, we should not treat this subject as if we have no understanding about why God wants us to do it.

If you had wonderful parents as a kid, you will most likely feel a strong desire to bless them because you love them.  It may not even seem like a chore.  This is a glimpse of the best-case scenario.  Yet, it is interesting that the 5^th commandment issues a promise of prolonging your days in the land.  Paul adds the phrase, “that it may be well with you…”

Of course, this is not a guarantee that nothing bad will happen in your life but that in comparison, it will be good to have honored and not good to have failed to do so.  Honoring your mom does something within you that is better for your life moving forward.  Honoring shapes you in good ways and dishonoring shapes you in bad ways.

As mortals, we cannot live both lives and choose which we think is better.  We either trust God or don’t.  Yet, even more than this, we can look at the lives of others who are honoring and those who are dishonoring their parents.  We can see whether this leads to a better life or a worse life.  I think there is plenty of data to support that God is correct in this area.

If you are struggling to honor your mom or simply doing a poor job at it, let’s look at some areas of motivation beyond trusting God.

First, you can honor your mom for the work they have done.  No mom is perfect, but many moms have chosen to stick in there and care for their kids when they couldn’t do it for themselves.  Putting all nit-picking aside, they did care for you.  Imagine life without them.

Second, you can honor your mom for the sheer difficulty of the task.  Even if they did a lousy job, we can recognize that there were personal hurts, wounds and fears that were behind their lousy job.  Not all of us are as wise as Solomon, and it is even harder when a mom has abuse and tragedy in her life.  There are tough decisions in life.  It is easy to choose the easier path while failing the test of doing the right thing, the good thing.  The junk in their heart and mind interferes with their ability to make good decisions.

Of course, we do not honor them for doing a poor job.  We simply recognize it was a difficult time for them.  It doesn’t make it right.  However, their failure to step up in a tough situation is exactly what you are wrestling with.  You are in a tough situation and are letting hurt and wounds drive you towards making a decision that is not good for your parents.  Do you want mercy?  To give them mercy is to make the case for your own need for mercy.

In fact, God is challenging you to see His heart for redemption, redeeming your parent and redeeming you.  Perhaps, you are God’s last attempt to break through the hurts and failures of their life.

Third, you can honor your mom for the place and purpose God has given them in your life.  God gave you your mom just as much as He gave you to them.  Regardless of how well or bad they did, we can honor God by helping them when they need it (or will accept it).  God is asking you to love them and minister to them.  They may be a porcupine of a person who is impossible to hug but this is God’s challenge to you.  Many an adult child has led a parent to the Lord who had lived a selfish life in rebellion against God and to the hurt of their kids.

Forgiveness is not saying what they did was good or even okay.  It is saying, I refuse to mistreat you because you mistreated me.  It is seeking to overcome evil with good.  Only the Spirit of Christ can do this kind of a work within us.

May God help us to honor our mothers ever day moving forward.  In ourselves, we are empty vessels.  But in Christ, we can be a full cup of blessing to others even when they have brought hurt and pain into our lives.  This is becoming like Jesus.

The First Letter of Peter- 13

Subtitle: Our Witness before the World- Part 5

1 Peter 3:7. This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, February 15, 2026.

We continue in this section that focuses on the way that a Christian should use their relationships to demonstrate the love and wisdom of Jesus to the world around them.

There is a greater concern here in that we are also desiring to be pleasing in God’s sight.  He is currently offering terms of peace to this world.  As we cooperate with this purpose, we can rest in the assurance that God will help us and reward us.

Today, we will wrap up the specific relationships that Peter has been addressing by looking at husbands.

Let’s look at our verse.

Husbands should live with their wives in understanding (v. 7)

In all of our relationships, it is our natural tendency to worry about what the other person is or isn’t doing.  We can be overly concerned with God’s Word to them, yet, overlooking His Word to us.

Peter begins this command to husbands with the phrase, “in the same way.”  This is exactly what he did with his instruction to wives in verses 1-6.  Again, this phrase is pointing husbands back to the example of Jesus written about in 1 Peter 2:21-25.  In the same way that Jesus sacrificed his rights in order to serve God the Father and humanity, so a husband needs to choose to serve God the Father and their wife.  Jesus needs to be their example and help in this.

Peter’s main imperative is for husbands to live with their wives in understanding.  The word translated as “live with” is a special word that highlights the cohabiting nature of the marital relationship.  They are not just doing life together.  They dwell in a home together, and that home becomes an extension of their relationship.  This life and home that a husband is making with his wife needs to be done with understanding.

Before we delve further into that, I will say that a husband and wife can seem to be one thing in public but be something quite different at home.  What goes on in the home, in private, is important to God, and so it should be important to me.

So, what does it mean for a husband to understand his wife?  Part of it is understanding her situation in general as a woman.  Genesis 1-2

 describes the intent of God for marriage.  A man and a woman are intended to become one before God.  That unity is also intended to image God.  Paul describes this specifically as being a picture of the relationship between Christ and His Church. 

A husband also needs to gain the understanding of what his wife has been through particularly.  What has she experienced both bad and good?  How can I care for her as if she were a part of my own body?

That last question may seem strange, but it is the perspective the Apostle Paul calls husbands to have in Ephesians 5:8. “So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself.”

It is common in our culture to sacrifice marital relationships to get something we want.  We end up undermining the relationship in a multitude of ways.  This is why Paul refers to a wife as being a part of her husband.  This connects back to the oneness of Genesis 1-2.  He is challenging husbands in this area.

Our culture has many pressures upon marriages.  Many decry marriage as the problem because it “goes against our human nature,” “monogamy is unnatural.”  They even project that there would be no guilt in relationships (a kind of sexual Utopia) if we could just drop this Christian notion.  Of course, I wouldn’t hold my breath for any proof that lack of commitment rids people of guilt and creates something good in this area.

Paul’s challenge to a husband is this.  To abuse your wife is to abuse yourself.  To reject this wisdom is to reject the wisdom of Christ.  Thus, a Christian husband really has no choice if he wants to remain a follower of Christ.  Live with your wife with even the understanding of how God has connected her to you.  Of course, we should have a nobler purpose in taking good care of our spouse than caring for ourselves.  We need to do it because it is right, and it is what Jesus wants us to do.

God’s purpose in marriage is not the problem.  It is not restricting us.  It is our own sin that is the problem.

Peter uses the phrase “as with someone weaker.”  In another version, it refers to her as “a weaker vessel.”  The body as a vessel for our spirits is a metaphor that was quite common in those days.  Paul uses it in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4.  “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion…”

A woman listening to this might be offended at being called a weaker vessel, but it is not exactly spelled out in which ways she is weaker.  The obvious place to start is to recognize that women in general are physically weaker than men.  However, I don’t think this is the only thing Peter is referencing.  The physical weakness of women has been a source of much pain for them.  Husbands need to understand how this physical weakness has shaped the psyche of wives, the way they think, and the desires they have.

Of course, weakness does not necessarily have a negative connotation.  In 1 Corinthians 12:22, Paul mentions that “those members of the body which seem to be weaker are necessary.”  His use of “seem” implies that things may look to us as weak in one sense, but their weakness makes them strong for the necessary purpose they have.  An example in life would be fine China.  China is not used for everyday dining especially with children.  It is not physically capable of being used all the time without being chipped.  Yet its weakness for everyday wear is a part of its honorable usage at special events.

Peter likely also has in mind the weaker social position that women had.  I’ve mentioned before that a woman generally did not have the right of divorcing her husband for any reason.  There was a huge disparity in the area of unfaithfulness.  If a woman was caught in an adulterous affair, the husband could have her executed.  However, if a man was caught in an adulterous affair, there was little a woman could do about it.

A husband’s understanding of his wife needs to incorporate these things.  Her weakness physically (or even socially) does not say anything about her value.  What is a wife’s value?  Is it in how much money she can bring to the home?  Is it in how many sons she can birth?  Is her value in what she can do to satisfy her husband’s desires?

A wife’s value begins with the design and intention of God.  She was made by God to unite with her husband and help him.  This help is not necessarily in the ways the man would dictate.  Rather, it is in the ways that the wisdom of God has discerned that husbands need.

A wife forces a young husband to face the issues of growing up.  It challenges a young man to see strength in that which may look weak to him.  It challenges him to learn to unify with someone who thinks differently than him.  It challenges him to come out of himself and choose to be intimate with another person in every way.

Will marriage fix the world?  No.  It can only challenge the world in the ways that God knows we need challenged.

All of this is to say that a wife has value before she does a single thing.  Part of living with one’s wife with understanding is valuing her as God does.  A good husband will not just patronize his wife but rather understand her total situation with grace and understanding as he builds a home with her.

A husband cannot change the culture surrounding him and his wife, but he can change the culture inside the home.

This leads well into the next point.  Peter calls husbands honor their wives as fellow heirs of the grace of life.  This clearly means to honor, or to value, them highly.  Your wife is a fellow heir (a joint-heir or co-heir).  Peter does not explain this fully.  We know that wives have an inheritance in God’s Church just as much as husbands.  Peter may be speaking of this in these general terms.  However, he may even see a further connection between a particular husband and his wife with what they will inherit both in this life and in the life to come.

Regardless, the challenge for husbands is to recognize that their future inheritance is impacted by how they treat their wives.

He says that they are heirs of the “grace of life.”  We can be too quick to jump to the understanding of this as eternal life, something that is in the future.  Yet Scripture tells us that God’s eternal life is even now pouring into the life of every Christian.  We can experience a kind of down payment on the grace of God.  The reality of our future inheritance ought to be affecting our present attitudes in marriage.

Finally, Peter challenges husbands that their relationship with their wife can affect their relationship with God.  Prayer is the mainstay of our relationship with God.  A man may be very religious in many ways.  However, failure in this area can hinder his prayers.  It doesn’t matter what people think about your marriage.  It matters what God thinks.

This reminds me of the instructions of Jesus regarding forgiveness in Matthew 5:24. If you go to sacrifice at the altar of God and remember that your brother has something against you, you should leave your gift at the altar and go your way.  First be reconciled to your brother and then come and offer your gift.  If we have been abusing people in our relationships, or they at least believe they have been sinned against, we should not approach God in prayer without first dealing with it.  Of course, we can pray for wisdom in talking with them, asking forgiveness.  I believe this is what Peter is describing here.  If you are ignoring the plight and suffering of your wife, don’t expect God to be answering your prayers except for the prayer of repentance.

It is the things we do in private that make the public things of any value.  May God help us to see that He is not looking at the public personae we project.  He sees our private lives, our home life.  He sees the heart of our spouse and challenges us to live with them in understanding.

Witness 5 audio

The First Letter of Peter-10

Subtitle: Our Witness before the World- Part 2

1 Peter 2:16-20.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, January 25, 2026.

We continue in this first letter of Peter.  He is focused on how we follow Jesus, and how that affects the world around us.  God wants those who are following Christ to be a witness and a testimony to the world.

This witness will save some.  We will be a witness that they receive.  However, others will not receive our witness.  The things we share and do are then evidence against them.  Of course, this is not our goal.  Our goal is to help them see Jesus.

In many cases, it may seem unfair that God expects us to be a witness for Him to people who do not deserve it.  The rub here is that we are the ones determining who doesn’t deserve it.  No one “deserves” the Gospel, but the grace of God has chosen to make it available to all.  We either agree with that and help, or we disagree and ignore the commands of Christ.

It is common that Christians end up suffering for their active witnessing to the world.  This too may seem unfair.  Why should we suffer so that they can be forgiven?  The answer is Jesus.  He suffered death for you and them so that forgiveness could be possible.  If we believe in him, then we can agree that his purposes are worthy of the greatest of sacrifices.

Let’s look at our passage.

Submit to every human institution of authority (v. 16-17)

We had to stop in the middle of this section last week.  The main point comes from verse 13. We are to do this for the Lord’s sake (not ours), without respect to the level of authority, and in order to silence the ignorance of foolish men.

There are going to be people who reject God no matter what His decision is.  It is God’s will that we submit ourselves to the governing authorities in order to shut the mouths of those who would ignorantly accuse Christians of rebellion.

Of course, it is a spiritual rebellion.  We will not serve the devil and his angels.  However, our goal is not to fight the governments of this world.  It is to silence their mouths through righteousness.

Verse 16 then adds the instruction that we should use our freedom to be slaves of God.  Now, some of them are free people and others are slaves.  There is even a spectrum of from the least freedom to the most freedom.  It would start with those who were slaves and move up to those who are simply servants.  We then would come to those who are free but have no Roman Citizenship (the Apostle Peter) and move to someone like the Apostle Paul who had both freedom and Roman Citizenship. 

However, Peter is not talking about our natural freedom.  He is talking about the spiritual freedom that we have in Christ.  All Christians have been spiritually set free from the guilt of their sins and the rebellion of humanity.  We have been also set free from any claim that the devil may have on us.  Those who were Jews were set free from the Law of Moses.  This doesn’t mean that Christians are lawless.  Instead, we are under the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:2).

Many Christians make the mistake of using their situation as an indication of what they truly are in Christ.  If my circumstances are bad, then I am a loser in Christ, a failure.  If my circumstances are good, then God loves me, and I am a blessed winner.  Isn’t our Lord Jesus a rebuke to this kind of thinking?  Of course, he is!  There is no more victorious person who has ever lived than the Lord Jesus.  Yet his circumstances were so bad that “we considered him punished by God, stricken by him, and afflicted.” (Isaiah 53:4 NIV). 

Peter warns against using our freedom as a “covering for evil.”  We can sweep a lot of things under the carpet of freedom that are not in character with the freedom that God has given us.  Another way to describe this is to use grace as a license for immorality.  Did Jesus free us so that we can continue to sin, or God forbid, do even more sinful things?  Of course, he didn’t.

Those who protest the loudest that they are free from being judged are in bondage to the vices and lusts of their heart.  In fact, all of us have recognized how particular sins can get a hold on us.  We want to be free from it, but it seems to have powerful control over us.

This brings up the issue of political freedom.  What good does political freedom do for those who are in bondage to sin?  Only people who are spiritually free can remain politically free.  Those who are not will find their political freedom disintegrating before their eyes.  How much political freedom are we going to lose before we repent?  I don’t know.  God will let us lose it all, if we don’t do so.  It is up to us how far we will fall.

God will goad us along the way, trying to get our attention.  He doesn’t want us to be destroyed, but He may let it happen. 

So, Peter started this passage calling believers to abstain from fleshly lusts (v. 11).  Now he has described that further as not using your freedom in Christ as a covering for evil.

Peter then gives a quick list of the kinds of things we can do as free people who are serving God in verse 17. 

The first is to honor all people.  Honor is something that is nobler than submission.  At its root is the idea of value.  It can be a person who has value, or it can be a person who is in a valuable position of authority.  Of course, a high position is not needed for a person to have great honor (value).

A person who has no honor is a person who has become worthless.  Many worthless people end up in positions of honor.  This can be a difficult and oppressive thing to endure.

To honor someone who has honor requires me to see beyond myself.  It really should be easy to do.  Yet a person of honor who is in a position of honor should see the value of the people for whom they are responsible.  Shouldn’t a king see the value of the people he serves, even the peasants?

Ultimately, value comes from God.  It is He who has made us and not we ourselves.  It is a common occurrence that we do not live up to the value that God has given us.  Peter challenges us to see the value in all people and give the honor that God wants you to do.  We must use our freedom to honor all people appropriately.

The second thing in verse 17 is to love the brotherhood.  Brotherhood here contemplates the family of God as a band of brothers, which includes both men and women.  The devil loves to tempt Christians into the path of hating one another, or at least not caring to love one another.

We are called to love one another as Christ has loved us.  This is not a fake honor and not a fake love.  We should not love sparingly or begrudgingly.  We are to use our freedom to love our brothers and sisters in Christ.

Love always begs the question, “What does it mean to love now?”  I know a man whose son ended up in prison for a period of time.  When the son was released, the dad tried to help the son get back on his feet by giving him a place to stay and a job in his shop.  It is clear that the dad loved his son when he could have written the son off.  I’m sure the dad wrestled with what the love of Jesus would have him do.  After some time of working in his dad’s shop, the son began to dip into the till.  At some point the dad suspected it and eventually caught his son’s sin.  What can the dad do now?  He is faced with the hard question.  What does love do now? Yes, you want to help your son, but his problem is clearly far deeper than just needing a helping hand.  What would you do in that situation?  Loving people is difficult, but it is what Jesus calls us to do.  Love doesn’t always do the same thing.  Sometimes love has to say no more.  Sometimes it has to tell someone to leave before they can be received back in repentance. 

Peter also tells us to use our freedom to fear God.  This may sound like a contradiction, but God has not set us free so that we can live a life of not having proper respect for who He is, and what He has done.  He is our Father, but He is also our Judge.  He will not pervert truth in order to make you feel good.  He loves you too much to do that.

We are told in the Bible that the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom.  Yes, you are free to be a moron, but that is not what God had in mind when He gave you freedom.  We will all give an accounting to God one day.  There will be consequences for the way we have lived our lives.  However, there is more to the Fear of the Lord than just being afraid of hell.
Moses, when confronted with the idea that God might not go with along the way to the Promised Land, feared not having relationship with God.  God, You must come with us.  Otherwise, people will not know that Your favor is upon us.  Can you imagine eternity without Him Who is the greatest good?  Lack of relationship with God should be a far more fearful thought than eternity in a Lake of Fire.

Peter also tells us to honor the king.  This is clearly added to deal with the obvious question that would follow the earlier command to honor all people.  Should we honor even a wicked man like Nero?  We are to treat the king with respect and the honor that is due to his position and authority.  Again, that is in order to shut the mouths of foolish and ignorant people.

Household servants are to submit to their masters (18-20)

This word for servants has the idea of a household servant of various types.  Some may have greater freedom, but some may be actual slaves.  This is similar to the previous category under the king, or civil authority.  Even free people are under some authority in life.  Yet slaves and servants would have an extra layer of authority over them.

Peter calls slaves to use their freedom to submit to their earthly masters.  They are to choose to take their proper place under the master’s authority.  It may not be proper in the sense that God made them to be that way.  However, under the laws of the society, they are under a master.

Now there were some Christians who had slaves.  The letter of Philemon is written to a master asking him to receive a run-away slave back and treat him as a brother.  However, most Christians were not masters.  In fact, quite a few were slaves themselves.  You could understand that a slave might hear the Gospel and rightly think to themselves, “Christ has set me free!  No man can own me.”  Of course, God did not make any person to be the chattel property of another.  Yet this is not a perfect world.  In this imperfect world, God does not ask us to kill the masters with a slave revolt.  Instead, He calls the slaves to show the masters Jesus by giving them respect.  In fact, Peter calls them to show “all respect” in the way they submit to their masters. 

This term can mean something like terror.  However, the emphasis is on being very careful in your submission.  What if the masters are not respectable?  We are to respect them for Christ’s sake.  It is the respect of Christ that overshadows the whole issue.  I do it because I respect Christ who asks me to do it.

Jesus will not force us to submit to our master with all respect.  But He will work on our hearts by His Spirit.  He will call you to this and challenge you in it. 

The average American is no longer dealing with actual slavery.  Yes, there is some underground illegal slavery happening, but this is not what is being talked about here.  This best maps over to our relationship with an employer in this life.  Do you have a “good and gentle” boss?  It does happen!  The same thing was true of slaves in the first century.  Some of them had good situations and were happy to work for their master.  Even if they were told they were free, they might choose to stay.  However, many slaves had bad situations, even oppressive situations under masters who were evil men.  These slaves didn’t have a choice about their master.  He was who he was.  Peter challenges them to submit especially to the unreasonable masters.

It would be easier to serve someone who is good and gentle.  Anyone in the position of a lord over another person should have the qualities of being good and gentle because these are the qualities of Christ.

However, when a master is unreasonable, it seems unreasonable to expect a slave to submit to them.  The word unreasonable has the sense of being crooked, perverse, or wicked.  How can God expect us to serve a wicked master?

Many people in our society rail against the Bible and the God of the Bible.  Yet they are often using their political freedom as a license of sin, and a cover for evil things.

Freedom is a puzzle that is much more complex than we would like to admit.  Being politically free is one thing, but being spiritually free is quite another.  God is concerned about bigger issues than rather we are politically free or not.  Yes, He did not make us to be under tyrants and dictators.  However, the only way to break through to hard hearts is to remove their freedom and put them under the heavy hand of another sinner.  God is speaking to our hearts in these times, calling us to turn back to Him.  This is why nations rise and nations fall.  It is something that this rising nation should take to heart.  We have only risen because God has allowed it.  Yet He may cause us to fall as well.

God can help us through oppressive things, like a master who is unreasonable, if we will ask Him.  Rather than complaining, we can choose to trust God and submit to trusting Him.

Peter explains that a slave who endures the unreasonable actions of an evil master will find the favor of God.  Just like Noah found favor (grace) in the eyes of the Lord, we are called to be people who put their trust in God’s way and not our own.

To put a finer point on this, imagine a slave being able to choose between two doors.  Behind one is political and economic freedom and behind the other is favor with God.  Which would you choose?  In truth, it would be suicide to choose freedom over against the favor of God.  What good does freedom do for a person who has drawn the ire of God?  It does none whatsoever.

Verse 19 is somewhat choppy in English, but let’s work through it.  The point is not just suffering unjustly but also enduring under the suffering.  A person will only do so for one of two reasons.  They either have no hope and have been beaten into submission, or they have hope in God.  This latter reason is the testimony of slaves throughout history, even those in America.  They had faith in God and were able to endure great suffering.

African American slave culture had developed great faith in God.  It is the wellspring of the Negro Spirituals that surfaced in that era.  If you read the words to “Lift Every Voice and Sing,” the “Black National Anthem,” you will be surprised at the level of faith and prophetic warning to America and black people themselves.

In the time of suffering, they learned something about God that was invaluable.  Yet they also knew that it could be lost.  This is a challenge for all people of all races.    God is found in times of suffering if we will put our trust in Him.  However, we can lose Him in the comfortable times that follow.

Peter tells us that there is no credit before God when we endure harsh treatment due to our own sin.  As free people, we may not have to suffer an evil master punishing us for our sins.  But we can suffer evil men due to our sins.  If I want God’s favor in such a situation, then I need to repent of my sin.

But, if we suffer for doing what is right and patiently endure it, there is favor with God.  Do you remember the Beatitudes of Matthew chapter five?  Jesus listed things that make us feel like we are not favored with God and told the people that they were blessed if they fit into those not so blessed categories.  Why are those who mourn blessed?  They are blessed because they have a Heavenly Father who has determined a time of comfort for them, at least if they will hang on in faith, continuing to draw His favor.

These unreasonable masters (and unreasonable, evil men) will stand before their Master one day.  They will be judged with a stricter judgment because they were in a position of power and authority.  They abused their power and will thus be treated with their own harsh treatment.

This is not an instruction that makes our flesh feel good.  It is an instruction that delivers our soul from our own sinful tendencies.  You can either be concerned with what you are getting out of life, or you can freely serve God and His purposes.  One thing is certain, you can’t do both!

Our Witness 2 audio

Pursue What Is Good

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother's Day Sunday, May 7, 2023.

Believers are instructed in a multitude of ways to do what is right and good, but as the Lord defines, not as we define it.  Therein is the rub.  Many people think that they are doing what is right, but they are not using the mind of Christ.  Instead, they have a different way of thinking, a different "wisdom."

Today, we have become so messed up on what is good that some in our government think that it is good to subvert the duty of parents to raise their kids, and seek to scam them into things like transgender surgeries.

It has never been easy to be a girl who is facing the reality of becoming a woman, or a boy who is facing the reality of becoming a man.  However, this is far more perilous in a society that is losing its moorings on the shores of truth.  Such young people need to be encouraged to have faith and trust God in this transition because God has good things for them that happen precisely because it is tough.  In fact, we should recognize that it is a kind of signature of God to create things in such a way that we will need to give ourselves to a it with a faith in Him.  It is not a blind leap of faith, but it is faith nonetheless.  I walk forward bravely trusting that God will use the hard situations in order to lead me to good things.

We can be frozen by fear.  Of course, no one stands still in life physically.  You will become a woman, but you can be stuck at the emotional level of a child in an adult body.  This tragedy is all too common, but it is not what God has planned for us.

Let's look at our passage.

Honor Mothers (v. 12-13)

Paul is writing to the Thessalonians, and he is not so much writing about mothers as he is writing about those who perform functions within the greater body of the Church of Jesus.

I want to remind us of the 5th Commandment in Exodus 20.  "Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you."

I will note two things about this command.  First, the command is addressed to the individual "you."  God is speaking directly to us as individuals and not just to society.  It is not "society's job" to honor mothers.  It is mine.  Yes, if we have a whole society of individuals who are honoring mothers, then we will see that society reflecting that honor.  This doesn't change my primary point.

The second thing is that the Hebrew word for "honor" has the sense of weight and even value. Now, value for things in this life is transitory.  However, it is often the blurred lines between price and value that cause the trouble.  Price is what I am willing to pay for something.  Value is the thing that is obtained.  No price is too high to pay for something that has great value (proverbs 31).  Thus, we need to recognize that moms (parents) have a heavy, valuable, place in our life.  Being a mom, and doing the things that moms do, is an important, heavy thing in our society, more important that any job you can do for our corporations today. 

Our society has done a great disservice to this Republic by treating moms as if they are nothing.  If we really understood just how incredibly heavy, important, and valuable being a mom was no one would want to do it.  This is similar to the way Jesus talks about how important fidelity in marriage is in Matthew 19:8-10.  The disciples respond that “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  We tend to treat the heavy things of God lightly.  We do so at our own harm, and to the detriment of others.

There is so much dysfunction in our homes these days that it requires us to deal with the question.  What does it mean to honor a mom who doesn't deserve it?  Many have been hurt by parents, and only respond to God's call to honor parents with more hurt.  I do believe that we are meant to wrestle with this.  Just as a parent of an undisciplined adult-child wrestles with what it means to love in the current situation, so too an adult child has to wrestle with what it means to honor in the case of a parent who has been absent, or hurtful.  The honest wrestling before God helps us to become something better than we would have.  In fact, it helps us to become more like God.  The key is not to cast off the value or importance of what they were and are in your life.  You can't pretend they don't exist (i.e., act as if they are nothing) because they do exist.  Your heart and mind know that God wanted something better from them in their dealings with you.  Instead of walling them off with pretense, wrestle with doing what is right as God defines it.  Care for them in their declining years even if they failed to care for you in even minimal ways during your childhood.  By doing so, you witness to them of God's righteousness, and His offer of forgiveness and salvation for those who repent.  Ask God to help you to love them even though they are not lovely.  Ask God to help you to care for them even when they do not care.

In Thessalonians 5, Paul most likely is thinking of Church leaders, but he keeps the wording purposefully general.  Moms fit this category of "those who labor" among us.  The labor of being a mom is particularly close to the heart of God.  Mom's represent that one who labors through sorrow to bring a child into the world and then nurtures their life physically, emotionally, and mentally.  She represents a part of God's heart towards us.  God always intends the labor of our life to be a labor of love.  Yet, love is a very trying virtue, just as labor is a trying virtue.  Labor tries and tests us; it refines us, if we will lean into the purpose that God intends in it.

Think about all of the hard work that goes into being a mom.  It is no wonder that countless young women are fearful and intimidated at becoming a mom.  However, all labor has a way of bringing more out of us than we believed possible because we are capable not only doing more than we think, but also of becoming more than we are.  You can grow in ways that your flesh doesn't want to grow, but God designed for you to do, if you trust Him.

I am connecting the word honor with the word "recognize" in verse 12.  It involves not only seeing the labor that moms do, but also perceiving the value and heavy importance they have in our lives.  We need to see moms as God sees them.  None of them are perfect, but they are all incredibly important!  We only harm ourselves when we act as if it is something light and meaningless.

Moms not only have labor to do, but they also have authority from the Lord.  They are "over" their children "in the Lord" in order to "admonish" them.  Parents are directly authorized by God Himself.  He is the source of all proper authority.  This begins in the inherent ability of a man and a woman to conceive and to birth a child.  This natural ability demonstrates a God-given right that women have to birth a child.  When we act upon our right to have a child, it then activates a duty that we have to that child.  All rights have corresponding duties that go along with them.  If we exercise rights without doing the duties, then we create a mess.  The same God who gives us rights will also hold us accountable to the duties that we have in them.

It is tragic to see the many ways that the State is elevating itself and transgressing this primary authority of parents.  However, we cannot place all of the blame upon the State.  There is a reasons that we are here.  The rise of dysfunction within society overflows the home and comes out into our schools, our streets, and public in general.  If a child is being abused by a parent or parents, then the people in that community should step in to help the child.

However, here is the problem.  What is your definition of abuse?  In short, if you insert yourself in a situation in which another person has authority from God, then you had better be correct, i.e., using God's definition of abuse.  It is a holy ground between that parent and God, and God will hold them accountable.  If you step in, you had better take your shoes off (holy ground), be prayed up, and actually be led by God to intervene. 

When the State intervenes, its definition is not the same as God's.  Yes, there are some situations in which we can say that the State really did stop a horrible situation (their definition somewhat coincided with God's).  Yet, in other ways, the State is only creating another abusive environment in which parents are increasingly unable to protect their children.

It does not good to complain.  Instead, we must focus on doing our duty to the children in our lives, and helping moms to rise up to their labor in the Lord.

Paul then says in verse 13 to "esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake."  Esteem deals with how we think about people.  We are to think highly of them, and to do so "in love."  Love tests us all, as I wrote earlier.  Parents are to lead their kids in what it means to love.

Circling back to the parent who has done hurtful things, we should note that we are more likely to label something as hurtful when we are younger.  We can get angry that our parents ground us, or discipline us in any form.  Generally, people grow up and look back to recognize that their parents were simply trying to love them by teaching them something more important than immediate gratification.  Of course, they are not perfect in their attempts to do what is best for us, but neither are we perfect.

This understanding that we should esteem and honor people for the sake of the work that they do is important.  Like an arm-chair quarterback, we can look back and still be too harsh in our judgment.  In this sense, most people just need to have kids for themselves so that they will understand that it is a tough job helping a young person transition into adulthood.  We should respect and esteem that they had a difficult job, and that we ourselves had an impact on how difficult it was.  This should never excuse abuse, but it puts the labor of parenting in perspective.

The last phrase of verse 13 says, "be at peace among yourselves," in the NKJV.  That first part is actually a verb that is active.  It is not focused on merely resisting the urge to make waves, or be frantic.  Rather, it is calling us to actively be working for peace, a peacemaker, with others.  This is a big part of a mom's job, especially if there are multiple kids in the home.

Some people are not interested in peace, or they just don't know how to come to terms with peace.  In such cases, the best that a person can do is to put the offer on the table, and then to be open for change down the road.  You may have to give them some space.  However, always be praying for change, and ready to forgive when true repentance comes around.

I think peace is a minimum that God desires between us.  Even more, we should walk in love with one another.  Yet, we could say that peace is simply one facet of the virtue of love.  It is the best basis for peace with someone.  Absence of turbulence is nice, but we are called to active peacemaking.

Pursue what is good (v. 14-15)

Families really do need to hold on to what Paul says in verse 14.  Pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.  Our flesh will always bend things towards ourselves, even if just a little bit.  As I said earlier, we can also bend the definition of what is "good" too much towards ourselves.  We really need a relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit in order to hear the Word of God, and sense the conviction of the Holy Spirit in regards to what the "good" is that needs to happen in each situation.   This should be our prayer.  "Lord, please show me what will make for the good both for myself and for everyone involved."

Part of pursuing what God says is good will involve warning the "unruly."  This word pictures a soldier who is out of ranks and may even be AWOL.  This is similar to the biblical concept of submission.  It has the idea of taking your proper place within the ranks and performing the proper duty.  Thus, the unruly person  is refusing to embrace their proper place and duty.    This can be a child who refuses to listen to their parents, or a government who oversteps its bounds of authority. 

Those who castigate the whole biblical idea that God created young girls to grow up and become adult human females who are able to conceive, give birth, and raise a next generation to worship God and bless others, should slow down and think through what they are doing.  They are destroying the very foundation and fabric of what it means to be a woman- and a man for that matter.  They may rejoice in that because they want to replace it.  However, when you fight against the nature that God hard-wired into humans, you never come out on top.  Any society we try to create to replace one built upon a biblical world-view will end up being sub-par.  They will find themselves working directly against God, and they will have to give answer for that to Him.

Thus, a warning from a parent to a child involves cautioning against certain behaviors.  We do this socially when we warn people at a wedding that what God is putting together no one should take apart, those in the marriage included.  God will hold you accountable for working at odds to His purpose.

Yet, admonition, or warning, also involves teaching the good that a person should embrace.  We need to understand and promote God's good purpose in becoming a mom, for her, for the children, for the husband, and for society.  

All of us come into the world in a weak position.  If someone doesn't help us, we will die.  God's design makes it clear that the most likely people to take care of that child are the people who came together in love and produced that child.  Yes, the child will affect society and can be an asset or liability to it.  However, that does not put society in the best position to control the raising of that child.  The best scenario for any child is a male and female committed to a life-time, loving relationship, preparing them for life.

Next, Paul tells us to comfort the faint-hearted.  It pictures those who have lost heart and are discouraged.  The word "comfort" here is often used in the context of someone who has had a loved one die.  Mary and Martha were comforted by their neighbors when their brother Lazarus died.  The most common way that we comfort the bereaved is through stories about the deceased.  A young mother metaphorically is wrestling with the "death" of a past youthful life with little responsibility.  She needs us to comfort her, rather than to berate her.  Young moms need to hear the stories of older moms' and their own transitions.  It isn't easy, but it isn't as impossible as your heart and mind are telling you at the moment.  There is joy on the other side of the hard work of today, all along the way.

Paul then tells us to support the weak.  This deals with people who are in a weak position, whether through broken relationships, financial troubles, past trauma, etc.  This is similar to the faint-hearted.  We are told to support them.  Instead of looking down on young mothers, we should come along side of them and help, be a support.  What is it they need?  Experienced moms are in the best position to know how to come alongside of a young mom and support her.  In fact, mothering itself could be defined by helping the weak out of compassion and love.

We are also to be patient with all.  Patience here is the long-fuse term.  Yes, we need to hang in there and not quit easily, but we also need to restrain ourselves from "blowing up" to easily.  All relationships are made worse when we have a short fuse with one another.

Patience does not mean being silent and never dealing with issues.  Often, when a person blows up, it is because they have not talked about things that they should have.  Thus, patience ties in with peacemaking.  Whether communication isn't happening, or a person just doesn't change, we easily become weary with other people.  Understanding that moms who are actively raising kids are under a lot of stress all of the time should be in the back of our minds at all times.  No, they are not the only ones who deal with stress, but that does not undercut the point.  It only makes it more important for us all to work for peace and be patient with one another.

Of course, trauma and past hurts can make any relationship difficult and requires great patience on the part of the other party.  Sometimes both people have past hurts and difficulties.  Let us love one another through patience.

Lastly, Paul calls for pursuing what is good for yourselves and for all.  Another way to say this is to reject a "pay back wrong for wrong" attitude.  It is almost a knee-jerk response for us to give back to others what they are dishing out.  However, this never brings about lasting and good change.

As the culture wars heat up, it is easy to see people as the enemy, and to justify all manner of actions against others.  There are definitely some who have given themselves over to doing evil to others, but Christians are not to respond in kind.

There is a difficult and heavy thing here that we need to carry.  We don't want to do so, but the Lord calls us to it.  It is called a burden.  We need relationship with God as the foundation to a relationship with others, especially when they are being an enemy to us.

When we resist people who are doing unrighteous things, we must do so with an eye to helping them to see the truth.  We don't do them any favors by hiding in our closets or retreating from the public debate.  However, we need the wisdom of God as to how and when to interject the truth.

Our attitude can sour with a sense of hopelessness.  "It doesn't work...It won't do any good!"  Listen, you cannot change society, but you can make a difference in the experience of people in your sphere of influence.  Take time to support the moms in your life regardless of how well they have done in the past because their labor is incredibly important to our families and to our Republic.  If enough moms are encouraged to do a godly job in raising the next generation who knows what is possible in this land.

Pursue Good audio