Letter to the Colossian Church- 13

Subtitle: A New Home- 2

Colossians 3:22-4:1. This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, October 19, 2025.

Paul continues to address relationships in the home that would have been a part of the lives of some of the Colossians.

Slavery verifiably has been part of human history for all of written history.  All ethnic groups have been slaves and have enslaved others.  There is very little data on the prevalence of slavery in Colossae during the first century A.D.  There is more data on the prevalence of slavery within the Roman Empire during this period, but it would have had variance depending on where you are looking.  It is generally stated that 20% to 40% of households would have had slaves during this period of the Roman Empire. 

No doubt, there was enslaving going on before the Flood, since it is described as extremely wicked.  Yet, it would be clear that there would have been no slavery in the very beginning, as Adam and Eve began having children.  This would have been the same dynamic with the family of Noah when they stepped off the ark.

So, how did it start?  As sin enters our relationships and our familial connections become further and further apart, it is easier to embrace such activity for various reasons, whether economic poverty, war, or pure dictatorial subjugation.  Of course, the Tower of Babel judgment would have exacerbated this dynamic.  They spread out and could not understand one another for a long period of time.  This would break down any emotional connections that did exist.

Throughout history, slaves were often the survivors of war.  Instead of killing everyone, the victors would subjugate people as spoils of war.  Of course, kidnapping was actively pursued by many groups throughout history.  This would typically be those who don’t want to wage all out war.  It was very common for people who were badly in debt to indenture themselves to others.  The debt would be paid off by the master, and the indentured slave would work for a set number of years to cover that value.

One of the problems with slavery in the 1800s is that its intersection with the ideas of evolution to dehumanize slaves further.  Those who inhumanely treat others have somehow justified seeing them as less human than themselves.

It has been common to present the Bible as written in order to strengthen the institution of slavery.  However, this is not intellectually honest.  Most early Christians were not wealthy.  It was common for church gatherings to have slaves and masters worshipping together.  In this passage, Paul is not trying to justify or protect slavery.  Instead, he is speaking to those who have this slave to master relationship and challenging them to submit this relationship to Christ.

Let’s get into our passage.

Jesus is the Lord of our relationships: to the slave (v. 22-25)

Notice that Paul is addressing each one in a relationship and giving them an exhortation as to what they should do.  According to modern culture, what should he have said?  Modern culture is appalled that Paul does not declare that slavery is wrong and does not call for a protest in order to set all slaves free.  Of course, few give thought to how quickly the Christians would have been stamped out by Rome if Christianity made that the thrust of its focus.  Neither do we truly listen to the message of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.

What we do know is that many slaves heard the Gospel and believed in Jesus.  Also, some of those who had slaves would believe in Jesus.  It would have been common in the early church for slaves and masters to be worshipping Jesus together.  Paul is speaking about their situation, not ours.  Even if we are to say that these verses no longer apply to cultures that do not allow slavery, we can recognize similarities to the relationship of employer to employee.

All economic systems have to come up with a solution for those who are unable to take care of themselves due to being overly indebted, or they have an inability to work.  Most of those solutions will bear a resemblance to slavery in varying degrees.  This is not to equate them, but to highlight that some of the same dynamics are at play.  Employees have a varying degree of freedom to get another job that depends on their skills or lack thereof.  So, as we go through this, we can recognize some applications to those who are not slaves and masters, but rather employees and employers.
Paul tells slaves that they should obey their earthly master.  Let’s note that the word obey here is not the same as the word Paul used for women.  However, it is the same word that was given to kids.  Paul does not get into all the issues and whether or not there are any exceptions.  If a master commanded his slave to worship Zeus, is Paul telling them they must obey and worship Zeus?  This is a ludicrous approach to what Paul is saying.  He is essentially saying that the main moral issue for slaves is that of obeying their master.  This may seem insensitive, but the Gospel is more concerned with our soul and what is ruling within us.  Good things can be done with evil motives beneath them.

I would point out that Paul uses the prepositional phrase regarding their master, “according to the flesh.”  This is a not-so-subtle qualifier to what he is saying.  A master may have a claim on your body and can, therefore, give you commands.  However, there are other ways in which they are not your master.  You have a higher Master (Lord) who is over both body and soul.

Paul then adds that they are not to obey with “external service.”  The word is literally “eye service” and has the idea of only obeying when others are watching or will find out from those around you whether you are obeying or not.  It is the picture of a person who cannot be trusted to do something unless they are heavily supervised. 

He then adds, “as those who merely please men.”  This is used here in a negative sense.  Thus, some versions add the word “merely.”  The descriptions that follow help us to understand that these are people who please others in order to get what they want out of them.  God is not interested in shallow obedience.  He wants deep transformation within the hearts of those who follow Jesus, the kind of transformation that causes a slave to obey their master in order to please God, rather than themselves.  This is couched in terms of a slave to a master, but employees ought to take all this to heart regarding how they should do their job.

Paul adds more to qualify their obedience, “with sincerity of heart.”  The word for sincerity is a singleness of heart, which includes being free from pretense and hypocrisy.  Then, he adds, “as those who fear God.”  A person who fears God is a person who knows that God will hold them accountable for their treatment of others and obedience to His Word.  God holds claim not just to my body, but also to my soul.  He is my ultimate Master.  Of course, He is not a Master like the masters of this world.

A slave is not saved by their perfect obedience to their earthly masters.  Rather, they are being reminded that they have a Master who sees everything and has made promises to you.  God is the background for all of our relationships.  Husbands and wives are accountable to God.  Parents and kids are accountable to God just as masters and slaves.

God desires us to be a good thing in each other’s life, but as He defines it, not us.  It is not enough to be neutral in our impact on others.  It is definitely unacceptable to be evil to one another.  In Christ, we are called to give ourselves to Christ and serve his purposes through us to others.

Verse 23 gives a larger principle that can be applied to any relationship.  Having mentioned the fear of the Lord, he now turns to how we are actually serving the Lord God when we serve others. 

“Do what you do heartily as for the Lord.”  The Lord needs to be the director of how we relate to one another, and He needs to be the one we envision that we are serving.  This is not a mental game of pretense.  Jesus really is our Lord, and we really will come before his judgment seat to give account for our service to him.

This reminds me of Matthew 25:40. “Whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did it to me.”  The same message is being given to slaves.  Do what you do as unto the Lord, and when you stand before him, you will be blessed.

I said earlier that our salvation is not dependent on how well we did this.  Our salvation can be secure while any reward from Christ is in jeopardy. 

When we mistreat one another, God takes that personal.  Mistreatment often occurs within a power imbalance.  However, the modern world wants to treat power imbalance itself as a problem, even the only problem.  The existence of imbalance of power is not what is evil.  It is what is done within the context of that imbalance.

This is an attack against God as Creator, whether they know it or not.  God has created everything with a diversity of power, both in nature around us and within humanity.  It is impossible to really create a society where there are no power imbalances. Thus, we tyrannize the whole in pursuit of something that can never be.

God doesn’t rail against these imbalances.  Rather, He warns us to be careful how we operate within them.  We will give account to the Power above all powers, and He takes it personally.

Are you strong?  Fine, but you might ask why God has given you strength.  It is not for crushing the weak while using your strength for yourself.  It is not for crushing a slave or an employee for your own ends.  Instead, it is to be a blessing to the weak and the lowly.

All people have a variation of things in which they are strong or weak.  We need each other.  We can be a blessing to one another by working together in order to please God.  If everyone is doing what they do as unto God, then our relationships with one another will be vastly different than what is typical within our society.

Verse 24 tells the slave that they will receive a reward of inheritance from the Lord.  Of course, in this life, slaves do not inherit anything.  However, Christians will inherit eternal life in a glorified body with Jesus.  We will even inherit a new heaven and a new earth in which there will be no wickedness.

You may be a slave to a man on this earth, but in Jesus, you are a son of a Heavenly Father.  You have a great inheritance coming from Him.  Does it look like it?  When we are being mistreated, used and abused, we can forget about the Lord Jesus.  How was he treated?  Did he submit himself to the mockers and the shame?  Yes, it may not be fair (or it may be).  God knows.  He has made us to be His sons and daughters.  He will make everything right in the end.  Do you trust Him?

The heavenly master will judge the earthly masters of this world.  Our difficulties seem long, but they are short in light of an eternity of perfect righteousness with God Himself.  The rewards and attainments of this world will diminish and fade.  They are here today and gone tomorrow.  But the eternal rewards of God never end and never diminish.  Many who are first in this world will be last in the life to come, if they even make it.  However, many who are last in this world will be first in the life to come.

If you only hope is in this life, you will decry the Bible as a book made by masters to keep the slaves in check.  There were some masters who became Christians like Philemon of Colossae.  There were even some people from the household of Caesar who believed.  But most were low class, and many were slaves.  Jesus and his disciples were not from the echelons of society.  They may not have been slaves, but the boot of the Roman empire and the religious leaders of Israel probably made it feel like it at times.

They made themselves slaves of Christ, who had made himself a slave of God the Father, in order to bring salvation and hope to a lost world.  This life is short and temporary compared to the inheritance and reward that God has for us.  I can be used of God for His purposes in this unfair, often godless, world.  But, after it, I will have glory with Him.  Those who have glory in this world have it much harder to obtain glory in the next.  Those who have no glory in this world need only to trust Jesus in order to obtain great glory in the next!

There are many masters who will not make it.  The real question for a slave is not about their master, but about their own destiny.  Will I make it?  Even when a slave gets his freedom, which is good, it doesn’t fix the problem that all men deal with and that is spiritual bondage in our hearts and minds. 

Thus, Paul ends verse 25 with the reminder that the Lord will judge those who do wrong and give them their consequences without partiality.  This is a double-edged sword.  The Lord will judge both slave and master.  He will not show the master partiality because he is a “greater man” in this life.  However, neither will He show the slave partiality because he had nothing.  He will judge both alike for what is in their hearts and the deeds they have done.  There are consequences to be had for how we live this life.  The courts of men may favor the rich in this generation and then change to favor the poor in that generation.  However, God shows partiality to no one.  Quit looking at the other person and excusing your sin.  Look to God and ask Him to help you cleanse your heart.

We often justify our sin in the name of injustices and wrongs done against us.  It doesn’t feel fair for God to do the right thing over the top of injustice and wrong.  However, it wasn’t fair for Jesus to take our sins upon himself and extinguish the wrath of God against sin.  Can I trust the judgment of God and the consequences that come from that, whether rewards or punishments, and whether those are temporal or eternal?

God did create slavery.  We did.  God did allow us to enslave one another.  He did let us sin against one another.  This was not because He condoned it.  Jesus himself once said about divorce that “Moses permitted divorce because of your hard hearts.”  Our hard hearts have brought many things into the world that God does not condone.  He can focus on divorce, or He can let the pain of it drive us back to the central issue, our hard hearts.  When you wrestle with the problem of softening a hard heart, then you will have scratched the surface of the wisdom of God on these matters.

To the master (v. 4:1)

It is clear from the structure of chapter three that this verse belongs with the previous chapter.  It is an improper chapter division.  Paul speaks to slaves and then turns and speaks to the masters.

It may appear that Paul was harder on the slaves because he spent four verses speaking to them, and now only one verse to masters.  However, we should not read this as him being hard on slaves and easy on masters.  Instead, he spends more time trying to help the slave see God’s wisdom because of their typical hardship.  Yet, with the master, there is a short command that is much like what they would give to their slaves.

So, what did the Holy Spirit move Paul to tell slave owners?  He tells them to give their slaves justice and fairness.  “Give” here has the sense of granting something.  This might hide the fact that this is a command to masters.  The Master of masters gives them a command to grant justice and fairness to their slaves. 

Justice refers to what is upright, virtuous and right.  It isn’t twisted and perverted for selfish reasons in any way.  A society may define this word poorly, but a Christian who had slaves should not be looking to society to define for them what justice is.  Jesus is the definition of justice and righteousness for the Christian.

Fairness has a sense of equality in it.  Paul doesn’t define what this equality would be, but it would definitely include the equality of being human, i.e., made in God’s image and loved by Him.

Equality, or fairness, is not about being equal in abilities and status.  Rather, it is about giving them what any human should receive in the light of their equal position before God.

Evolution completely undermined this issue.  Suddenly there was an intellectual reason why someone could treat a person of another race, not with equality of humanity, but something far less.  News flash: when you treat another human as less than human, it is you who is the subhuman and not them.

Paul then ends the command with a clear shot across their bow.  Do this “knowing that you have a Master in heaven.”  Their granting of justice and fairness is to be done simultaneously with the knowledge in mind that your Heavenly Master (Lord) is watching.

This short command and the accompanying warning are proper.  This is exactly how their position would be executed toward their own slaves.

Let me end with a few more things about the Bible and slavery.  Does the Bible (God) condone or even promote slavery?  No. In fact, it was Christian men and women who fought for the abolition of slavery.

When you analyze the Bible, you find that the Old Testament prohibited kidnapping, particularly for the purposes of pressing them into slavery.  Did every Scripture-quoting master in the South make sure that none of their slaves had been kidnapped?  Quoting Scripture improperly does not reflect God and His Word.  It reflects the heart of the person.

The Bible did allow economic slavery, i.e., indentured slavery, but it called for better treatment than was common among the nations.  This is connected to the permitting of divorce.

The abolitionists saw the fact that all humans are made in the image of God, the message of the Exodus and God’s heart for those under hard bondage, God’s moral laws and condemnation of oppression.  They saw that the message of Jesus and His Apostles called for a different treatment of one another.  They worked to change the system.

Praise God that we do not have open slavery anymore.  However, there is still oppression and black-market slavery.  Yet, even if we could free every single person within our boundaries, or on the planet, it still begs the question of what is going on in your heart and mind.  Are you truly free?  My body may be free while my heart, mind and soul are in bondage to sin and selfishness.

May God help us to hear His heart in these passages.

A New Home II audio

The Letter to the Colossian Church- 12

Subtitle: A New Home- 1

Colossians 3:18-23.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, October 12, 2025.

Up to this section, Paul has spoken to the Colossian Christians in general terms that would apply to them all.  In this section, Paul moves to the different relationships within the home.  How does a Christian wife, husband, child, parent, etc., live?  What is Christ calling them to do?

The Roman world and the Greek world had picture of what the family should look like.  In general, the husband was the king of the home and his word was law in the home.  Yet, Paul begins to speak to people in these situations about how Christ would have them live.

Of course, not every person hearing Paul’s admonitions would have a home that is fully Christian.  It would be able to complain that our situation is not perfect.  Yes, that is true, but the Perfect One is with you to help you honor God the Father and please him.  God does desire for us to experience His goodness in this life.  However, in those cases where we are experiencing a relationship that falls short, and may even be with someone who is not a believer, the eternal goodness of God can swallow up any evil that is done to us.

Let’s look at our passage.

Jesus is the Lord of our relationships (v. 18-21)

Throughout these verses, Paul continually reminds us that the Lord is not just a part of our relationship with others.  He is also the Lord of how we operate within those relationships.  He is the one that we are trying to please.  This is opposed to trying to please the other person, or only ourselves.  When we please Christ, we become a part of the solution, but when we please ourselves, we are a part of the problem.  I may not be the largest part, but I am a part nonetheless.

All of our relationships need to be surrendered to the Lordship of Jesus, in which we ask him this.  “Lord, how would you have me to be in this relationship?”

The first relationship of the home that Paul deals with is that of wives and husbands.  Before we get into the specific exhortations that Paul gives to them, we should talk about how different churches approach these passages.

There are some who approach these passages with a view called complementarianism.  They are said to be complementarians in regard to the husband and wife relationship and in regard to the roles of men and women beyond the home.  A wife is to complement her husband in the sense of completing him or making him perfect.

Here is an image charting their differences.

Complementarians believe that men and women were created with equal human dignity before God.  However, they were created with a distinct function and role.  Women can use their gifts, but it is not their role to lead the home, lead a church or to lead society.  Thus, God will not call and empower a woman to lead the home, church or society.  Some of them will leave room for situations when men refuse to do their role.

Egalitarians.  These are those who approach passages like this with a view called egalitarianism.  This word comes from the idea of equal.  They believe that men and women were created equal, not just in human dignity, but in all things.  They do recognize that men and women have distinct gifts and roles within this equality.  However, those distinctions do not warrant exclusive male leadership in the home, in the church or in society.  They believe that God can empower any person He chooses, male or female, to fill roles in the home, in the church and in society.

Both believe some similar things, but disagree about whether God intended there to be a hierarchy in the home and the Church that must be led by males.  A way of thinking about this is to use the concept of a team.  Whose team is the home?  Is it the husbands team, i.e., Team Husband, and the wife is simply on the team in order to help Team Dad win?  Or, are they one team before God, i.e., Team Husband and Wife Unity, in which both work together through their unique God-given abilities as one in order for Team Unity to win?

We should recognize that modern feminism has muddied the waters here.  It makes it easy for complementarians to accuse egalitarians of compromising with society, letting culture drive their theology.  Let me just say that some egalitarians are doing just that, which is the wrong reason to be an egalitarian.  Conversely, egalitarians can accuse complementarians of continuing an unjust subjugation of women for the sake of their own ego and power.  Again, let me say that some complementarians are doing just that, which is the wrong reason to be a complementarian.

At the root of this debate, there are God-fearing Christians who sincerely disagree about the purpose of God in the creation of men and women.  When you approach passages with one view of God’s purpose, you will read passages such as this in a particular way.  But, if you adopt a different view of God’s purpose, you will see that the passages may not be saying what you thought they were saying.

There are many women who are complementarians.  Are they trying to subjugate themselves for the sake of the ego and power of men?  I don’t think so.  You can believe they are brain-washed, but many of them are godly women who are seeking to honor God and His Word.

There are also many egalitarians who believe that the Bible is fully inspired of God.  They have arrived at their position, not by ignoring Scripture and portraying it as outdated and uninspired.  Rather, they have arrived at their position with sound Scriptural arguments.

Both sides of this debate need to honor one another by dropping attack lines that become ad hominem when we attempt paint the other group with a broad brush.

We are a Pentecostal church.  Pentecostals are not a liberal movement within the Church at large.  They held to the inspiration of the Scriptures and believed that many of the Protestant denominations had ignored parts of the Bible (the gifts of the Spirit) through a self-serving theology that was not right.  Pentecostals were among those first groups embracing the healing of black and white relationships.  They also saw that the Holy Spirit empowered women to preach, evangelize, and go into missions.  Many a church in America was started by a woman who believed God enough to do something.  Many a mission field in this world was opened by a woman who dared to believe God and stepped out in the power of the Spirit.  Some of them were put in those positions when their husbands were either killed or simply died.  They stepped up in faith and continued the work.

It was in this environment that Pentecostals began to see that perhaps these passages had been used to emphasize hierarchy when they were never intended to teach it.

Let’s be clear about a few things.  God loves women AND men.  He loves wives AND husbands.  He loves kids AND parents.  He loves slaves AND masters.  This does not mean that God condones of everything that we do.  No, He loves us enough to tell us the truth about all the ways we are destroying ourselves and one another.

The Assemblies of God is egalitarian, but it has not made it a core doctrine or even one of the Fourteen Fundamental Truths.  These can be found at AG.org.  I dare say that there are many people in the pulpit and in the pew who are on both sides of this issue.  May God help us to have grace with one another.

In our passage, Paul’s goal is not to subjugate women, kids and slaves.  He is teaching us all how to honor God in our relationships.  He is teaching us to operate out of a desire to accomplish the purpose of God rather than declaring our rights.  So now, let’s get into our passage.

To the wives:  Be subject to your husband as is fitting in the Lord.

There are many reasons why a woman might be chafing in a marriage.  Some of these would be in her husband and the society around her.  However, when she is honest, some of them would also be within herself.  We should recognize here that Paul is giving “homework” to each person for them to do.  It is in our nature to look at the other person’s homework and complain that ours is too hard or not fair.

Paul’s purpose here is not about protecting a patriarch.  Rather, we need to remind ourselves of what he had written just moments before this in chapter 3 verses 9 through 11.  Christians are being renewed into the image of Christ, which is not impacted by our relational differences.  Paul had listed racial difference (Greek or Jew, barbarian, Scythian), religious difference (circumcised or uncircumcised) and class difference (slave or free).  He could have listed the difference of male and female because he actually does this in Galatians 3:28.  Paul is not saying these differences no longer exist, but that they do not change the fact of what it means to become like Jesus.  Anyone in any situation or station of society is able to become like Jesus.  In that sense, it makes no difference what you are.  It does make a difference in what you may need to do and what you may need to sacrifice in order to be renewed into the image of Christ.  Paul is not denying that.

The word that Paul uses for “be subject” is an imperative.  However, it may come across as something that is done to you, i.e., “Let yourself be subjected.”  This is not what Paul is saying.  The word is not passive.  It is something that she is doing to herself, and it has the idea of taking a place under another.  It does not have a connotation of worth and importance.  The general of the military would be subject, “take their place under,” the king, or Caesar.  It is ultimately about taking a place to serve.  In this case, it is to serve their husband.  He does not say that husbands are kings and should rule thus over their wives.  He simply tells wives that they should give themselves to serving their husbands.

He then adds the phrase “as is fitting in the Lord.”  The idea of it being fitting is that this activity measures up to the bar that has been set by our Lord.  The Lord Jesus subjected himself to becoming a servant in order to serve humanity.  He even subjected himself to death on a cross.  He did so out of love for us, not out of hierarch.  We were not greater than him.  We didn’t even deserve him at all, much less in that capacity.  Yet, Jesus did so out of love.  He did not hold on to what his rights were and, instead, served the purposes of God the Father.  If this is the One we say we are following, if this is the one who is our master teacher and who we are becoming like, then it is fitting for to look for ways in which we can pick up a towel and serve others in our life.

Because Jesus took the lowest place and served us, God is even now subjecting all things to him (1 Corinthians 15:27).  Do we trust the same Father that Jesus trusted to lift us up at the proper time?

When people read hierarchy into this passage, it is coming from this word “be subject,” precisely because it has the sense of under in it.  Yet, I believe that I have shown above that it is not about hierarchy.  You must always lower yourself in order to serve another, and this is what he is asking wives to do.  Serve your husband for God’s purposes (not his).

Of course, Paul does not describe what this should look like.  There is a cultural issue here that can affect what a wife who loves Christ will do to serve her husband (be he Christian or not).  Our society is very different.  The ways in which a wife is to choose to serve her husband will be impacted by it.  Yet, ultimately, the wife is not called to serve the purposes of society or herself, but of God.  The only hierarchy that is actually here is that of Christ over the life of all Christians (wives or husbands).

One last thing about this.  Ephesians 5:15-33 is a passage in which verse 22 is parallel to this verse.  We should notice that the verse 21 actually commands each Christian to subject themselves to one another.  Again, not out of hierarchy, but out of love.  Interestingly enough, the verse about wives and husbands is actually “borrowing” this verb from the prior sentence.  It literally says, “and wives to your own husbands as to the Lord.”  We would say it is missing the verb, but this is a common technique in Greek.  The prior verb from verse 21 is implied in the statement.  “[A]nd wives [subject yourselves] to your own husband as to the Lord.”  Again, it is the Lord who is the hierarchy here.  We are all to be subjecting ourselves to one another.  And, in this context, wives are told to subject themselves to their husband for the purposes of Christ.

The modern world may accuse the Bible of hating women and subjecting them, but this is what men have done who either don’t understand what Paul is saying or are using him for their own purposes wickedly.  All through the New Testament Paul is teaching Christians to follow the example of Jesus and even his own example.  That is the example of laying down your rights in order to serve the purposes of Christ, God the Father, in the life of another person.

This brings us to Paul’s instructions to husbands.

To the Husbands  love your wives and do not be embittered against them

Paul could have turned around and told husbands to submit themselves in service to their wife, but instead, he uses the term “love.”  “Husbands, love your wives and do not be embittered against them.”  In the Ephesians 5 passage, he adds “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word…”  The sacrificial love of Christ did not demand that his position in heaven be honored.  Instead, he laid his body and life down for the good of the Church.  Husbands should sacrificially love their wives for her good and in obedience to God with humility.  Clearly, this would cancel out acting like Caesar over your wife.  If the husband is a king, then the wife is a queen.  However, she should not be a queen in the way pictured in the book of Esther.  Rather, she should be a queen who sits at his side, a team, ruling the home.

Notice that Paul adds the idea of not becoming bitter towards her.  What sorts of things make a man bitter against his wife?  Whatever offenses a husband may have experienced from his wife, he must still love her by forgiving her and not letting his heart be hardened toward her.  Hebrews 12:5 warns that a root of bitterness can spring up and cause trouble and defile many (i.e., both of you, the kids, and beyond). 

How can a husband not love a woman who is submitting herself to serving him?  Also, how can a wife not serve a man who is sacrificially laying his life down in order to love her?  Even when we agree with the wisdom to this, we may withhold with the excuse that the other person is not doing their job.  However, we do these things to please the Lord, not to get a specific action out of our spouse.

Paul does not flesh out what it would look like for a husband to sacrificially love his wife.  Does the husband simply let the woman run the show and never have strong opinions about things?  Should the woman submit in everything without question and without opinion of her own?  Is the husband always right?  Or does the husband die to his own opinion and let the wife always be right?  As you walk through those questions, you may see that there is a mutual submission beneath to these commands for wives and husbands.

To the Children  be obedient to your parents in all things

As we come to verse 20, this should go a bit quicker.  Children are called to obey their parents in all things.  God has given their parents charge over them.  The parents are not perfect, and God knows this.  Yet, no kid is perfect either.  They all need good correction, nurture, and supervision.

Children are called to submit to the will of God in their life and obey.  Of course, we can come up with all kinds of questions.  “What if your parents tell you to worship Baal?  Do you have to obey then?”  I believe that this is pushing the passage further than Paul intends it. 

We can also recognize that this is a command to a child within a home, and not a command to adult children that they obey their parents.  No, they will leave their parents and cleave to their spouse.  Yes, they are commanded to still honor their parents, but that is not the same as saying you should continue to act like a child in their home.  The relationship is moving to a new phase.

In all of this, we can see that kids have to deal with a rebellion problem that is in their hearts.

To the Fathers  do not exasperate your children

This command is given to fathers, but that does not mean mothers are unimportant.  Children are told to obey their “parents” plural. Yet, in these societies (specifically the Roman family), the father ran the home and would be the disciplinarian.  Thus, Paul addresses them.  Yet, the instructions would apply to mothers as well.

“Do not exasperate your children so that they will not lose heart.”  To exasperate a child is the idea of stirring them up or provoking them.  This can lead to them losing heart, being broken-hearted, or even dispirited with a broken spirit.  Parents are responsible for the raising of their children, but this does not mean that God wants you to break them like a wild horse.  Children are not animals to be trained.  They are made in the image of God, and their training and instruction should reflect that.

It is a sad thing to see kids who have been traumatized by parents who have abused their duties.  This is not what God wants.

Yet, stern discipline in and of itself is not trauma, if it is done rightly and for the right purposes.  If it is done in anger, then it is wrong.  If you are angry during discipline, then stop and take hold of your anger.  Bring it into subjection to the love of Christ.  Then, discipline them out of love and with the right spirit.  We need wisdom in this area.

Of course, both parents and kids fail.  We can repent of our failures and forgive one another.  A lot of parents who really messed up their kids have later come to Christ.  This is sometimes because of their kids, but sometimes not.  Of course, imagine the shame of a person as they realize that their sinfulness harmed their child and it continues into that child’s adulthood.  It is good and right for such a parent to apologize and ask the forgiveness of their adult child.  However, you should then give them space to work through it.  Pray for them.  Do not pressure them but love them regardless of their choices.

You may have a beautiful restoration of relationship, and then again, you may not.  The point is to take ownership of your own sin and love your adult children (or your parents if forgiveness is needed the other way. 

Parents, discipline your kids, but don’t break them.  They are the one that God the Father loves.  He asks you to train them for their future life.  Yet, he does not want you to cause them to stumble.  We will all give account to the Lord Jesus one day and should live with a healthy respect for that truth.

A New Home 1 audio

What Does God Really Want from Me?

Connect to Christ through Whole Life Worship

John 4:23-24; Matthew 11:28-30; John 15:2-4; 2 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:14-17.

This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, January 16, 2020.

We are starting a series that looks at what God really wants from us.  It really is a simple answer.  Ultimately, God wants you yourself.  He simply wants us.

Of course, there is more to it than that, so we will take some time to walk through the issues and remind ourselves just how much God loves us.  We will also remind ourselves how much we should follow Jesus without wavering.

Let’s look at our first passage.

Whole Life Worship

In John 4, Jesus is speaking with the Samaritan woman by a well.  She is stuck in the old arguments between her people and the Jews over where the proper place to worship is.  She had unknowingly inherited lies in this matter. 

The history of the Samaritans went back to the beginning of the 7^th Century BC when the Assyrians conquered the Northern Kingdom and deported them.  Other nations were brought to that area and told to live there.  Due to attacks from lions, and terrible things happening, the people complain to the Assyrian king that they don’t know how to please the god of this land.  So, the king sends some of the Israelite priests back to teach them how to please Yahweh.  Of course, they had been kicked out of the land because God was not pleased with their idol worship.  What transpired over the next century was an amalgamation of religious beliefs that rejected everything but the first 5 books of Moses, and they eventually promoted Mt. Gerizim as the place to worship- even built a temple there.

Now, the Jews were right about where to worship, but they were not without their own problems.  Where did they miss the boat?  The place of worship was important only because God had given them a command regarding it.  However, the worship itself was far more important to God than the place of it.  Jesus tells the Samaritan woman that God is looking for people who will worship Him in spirit and in truth.

So, what is worship?  Worship is everything we do to show God that He is the worthiest, most valuable Being in the Universe.  In fact, everything you do is showing what is valuable to you.  Everyone’s life holds something most valuable to them.  They may waver from one thing to the next, but they still value something higher than all else. 

The question is this.  Is it really God the Father that you worship?  Two people can both go to church.  For one it is all about showing God His value, but to the other it may be about being seen as a good, righteous person.  God is looking for people who truly want Him above all else.  You see why I said that He ultimately wants you?

Like Hagar in the wilderness, God saw this Samaritan woman.  She had clearly received religious teaching in her life, but she had not lived a very religious life.  Even then, much of what she had been taught was all lies.  God saw her and sent Jesus to speak truth into her life.  She needed to put her faith in the Messiah. 

Whole life worship of God the Father happens when we come to Jesus and connect to him spiritually by faith.  This spiritual connection will stir up other purposes that God has for us in this spiritual life.  They are not grades or levels that we achieve.   God wants us to connect to Him and His people, grow to be like Jesus, serve one another selflessly, and to share Jesus with those who do not know.  Notice that the Samaritan woman ends up connecting to Jesus and then sharing about him to other in the same day.  It would be hard to say that she hadn’t become more like Jesus by the end of the day, and she clearly served him. 

Over the next weeks, we are going to walk through these four purposes and draw out what God really wants from us.

The Call (Matthew 11:28-30)

Connecting to God is not mechanical like hitching a trailer to a truck.  It is organic like having a relationship with someone.  Jesus is the voice of God saying, “I’m here and I’m seeking a relationship with you.  I designed you to have relationship with Me!”  In Jesus, God shows us that we are valuable to Him, very valuable. 

In this passage, Jesus is inviting, or calling, to anyone who has grown weary of life.  He understands that life in this world without a living relationship with God is hard.  This world is a heavy taskmaster. 

Yet, Jesus doesn’t promise to make our life easy.  Instead, he will take your old burden and give you a lighter burden, even a better burden, to carry.  This world loves to load us up with heavy burdens and sometimes we can be the worst taskmasters to ourselves.  However, Jesus cares about your soul.  The burden that he has for you will feel light compared to the one you carry before coming to him.  It will give you rest for your weary soul.

The Connection (John 15:2-4)

Jesus has made an offer of relationship with you, but it is through the act of putting your faith in him that you actually make a connection.

Jesus pictures it as a branch that is connected to a vine.  The natural connection that we can see is symbolic of a spiritual connection that happens between us and Jesus whenever a we believe in him.  That real and living connection allows the life of Jesus to flow into our soul and spread out into our life.  The fruit of a person who is in a relationship of faith in Jesus is all kinds of life, even in the midst of hardship and death.  It is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.

Because it is a connection of faith, it must be maintained by faith.  It must persevere until the end.  So, recognize that this world has a counter-call that promises all kinds of “life,” but in the end such life is gravel in the mouth.

God actually cares about you, created you, and wants to help you to continually become more than you are.  This world sees you as a useful tool, a cog in the machine.  A cog that can be replaced if it doesn’t fit the ideas of the modern “aristocracy,” the “elite.”

A New Creation (1 Corinthians 5:17; Romans 8:14-17)

When a person puts their faith in Jesus, they really become a new creation, a new person.  I am leaving the old thinking and the old way of living behind, and I am beginning a new life of trusting the thinking and way of living that Jesus teaches.

Of course, the counter-call of the world means that I still have to maintain my rejection of the old and my embracing of the new every day.  Sometimes people get down the road of following Christ and they feel like its not what they thought it would be.  This can be because we aren’t treating it as a living connection that is a relationship.  You have to maintain relationships for them to last and to be fruitful.  The old you will always be calling, like an old friend from high school saying, “Don’t you want to go back and have some fun?”

Listen, coming to Christ is not about your feelings, and getting things from God.  It is about being adopted into His forever-family.  Those who are in His forever-family are given His Holy Spirit to come alongside of them and to help them.  He leads us and teaches us if we will listen and talk with Him through reading God’s Word and prayer.  It is about trusting The One who cannot and noes not lie.  He wants you in His family.  That ‘s what we were made for and why the Bible says that we were made in His image.  We aren’t gods, but we are able to be adopted into His family as His children.  That is an amazing destiny.

If we are His children, then we will inherit everything with Jesus as Romans 8:17 states.  Forget about the wealth of the world, and the power of this age.  All of these things are destined to be destroyed.  However, we who believe in Jesus are destined to step into a universe untainted by sinfulness, and full of beautiful potential.  Of course, this life is still important.  It is this life which gives us opportunity to be in His family!

Connect to Christ audio

Lessons from the Underground Church 13: True Identity

This is a 13 week series that will not be posted on our website.  If you would like an audio of the sermon or a written article on the sermon contents then please contact the church at AbundantLifeEverett@frontier.com.  You can also leave a message at 425.438.1500.  Thank you for your interest.