The Lies We Come To Believe

Genesis 3:1-13; 18:1-2, 9-15; Ruth 1:3-5, 8-13, 19-21.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother’s Day, May 12, 2024.

We are going to focus on three different women in order to see a dynamic that exists between hurts and wounds that we experience in life and the lies we come to believe because of them.

How have I let wounds be a source of entrenching lies in my heart and mind?  Much of the Christian walk involves a person letting the Word of God and the Spirit of God help us to discover and remove the lies that we have been living by.

Let’s look at our passages.

Eve (Genesis 3:1-13)

In verse 13, we see that Eve realizes that she was deceived by the serpent, the devil.  She believed him and then did what seemed right.  The moment when a person realizes that they have been duped, or deceived, is a horrible moment.  That sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach can occurs moments after you realize that you have just been scammed a lot of money by someone.  It is the same realization that Pinocchio had on the Island of Pleasure when he laughed at the other boy, who was turning into a donkey, and heard his own laughter turn into the bray of a donkey.

Eve’s wound is that she was deceived and then did something that brought harm to her husband and future children.  Of course, the results of being deceived are manifold, and they are not the only wounds a person experiences in life.  However, we will focus on this one.

Can you imagine later when Eve hears that her eldest son, Cain, had killed her next son, Abel?  Yes, there is that horrible realization of the unthinkable happening, but quick on its heels would be the realization that this is just another fruit of that prior deception and fatal action.

At this point, it is instructive to just recognize how the serpent, the devil (see Revelation 12:9), operates.  Her first mistake was listening to what that liar had to say.  This is subtly pointed out by God when He questions Adam, “Who told you that you were naked?”  The implication is more about the being with whom they have been talking, and not specifically what he said.  It doesn’t matter what the devil says.  It will always be a deceptive lie.

The devil’s first question completely overstates God’s command.  “Did God really say that you can’t eat from the trees of the garden?”  He first gets her to defend God by stating they can eat from all the trees but one.  Then, he directly contradicts God with a lie.  “You will not surely die!”  Thirdly, he accuses God’s motive for holding out this one tree from them.  “God knows that in the day you eat of it your eyes will be opened, and you will be like God, knowing good and evil.”  The implication is that God doesn’t want any competition, and so, He is holding you back from something good.

Now, there are lies that we are told, but there are also lies that we come to believe as a result of them.  The first lie may be recognized and then rejected.  I do not believe Adam and Eve were deceived by the devil again.  They knew that he had tricked them, and they would not be listening to his lie that they can do something to become like God.  It is here that the wounding affects our heart and mind.  Because of the hurtful situation, our heart and mind will gravitate towards ideas and thoughts that rise up within us.  The wounding process itself can embed a subtle lie into our soul.  These lies are harder to remove.

Take a young child who is abused for example.  They may be yelled at, and or beaten, while being told that they are stupid, dumb, and a pain in the backside by a parent who is consumed with their own pain.  As an adult, the child may come to realize that their parent was simply messed up.  They were not speaking truth, but emoting in the midst of pain, venting their frustrations on the easiest thing near them, you.  This does not guarantee an instantaneous freedom from the inner lie that you are not worthy of love because something is drastically wrong with you.  By the time an adult comes to realize the wound, they have lived with a lie for a very long time. Even when we know it is untrue, those lies are often our default response, almost instinctual.

Satan doesn’t appear to us as a serpent anymore.  But, he is still a liar and our enemy.  There is a lot of water under the bridge of humanity’s history of listening to the serpent.  He has raised up lies in the form of wise-sounding statements, ideas, philosophies, and even wise-sounding false religions.  This sea of sophistry crosspollinates in a young person’s life as they grow up.  The wounds we experience will take hold of those things that are close at hand, which are often lies.

What were some of the things that may have stuck in Eve’s heart and mind following the eating of the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil?  We don’t know for sure, but here are some lies that we would tend to believe.

“I am so stupid!”  We can beat ourselves up for being innocent, but that wasn’t Eve’s true problem.  Her true problem is that she didn’t trust God, no matter what.  She isn’t stupid; she was just played.

“I messed it up and so I am not worthy of love!”  This can be between Eve and Adam, between Eve and her children, and between Eve and God.  No matter how many times another person tells us that they love us, we can internally rebuff the idea because we know that we are not worthy of love.  “If they only knew the truth about me!”  Or, “They are just saying that to be nice, but the truth is…” 

At this point, let me remind us that God shows up and speaks into the situation.  God never curses Adam and Eve.  He curses the serpent (you will crawl on your belly and eat the dust!), and He curses the earth.  When God finally addresses Eve, He points to one thing that He will do to her, “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; In pain you shall bring forth children…”  However, the second part points to something that will be more of a consequence of her sin, rather than a direct action of God.  “Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.”  Verse 15 is somewhat vague and that may be on purpose.  It can have a perfectly good interpretation.  Eve will have a desire towards her husband, and he will protectively shelter her.  It is the imagery of how their relationship will be affected by living in a sinful world.  The woman’s weaker frame now becomes a liability and she will desire a husband to help protect her in this world, to which a good husband would give himself fully.  Yet, it also has some sinister connotations.  This is most likely because God is not just talking about Eve.  By extension, all the daughters of Eve will have individual experiences of life and with husbands.  It cannot be by accident that God warns Cain with these same words in Genesis 4.  He warns Cain that sin’s “desire is for you, but you should rule over it.”  This leaves room for a more sinister experience to happen between husband and wife.  A friction involving desire and power can infect the relationship in sinful ways.

Another lie that Eve could come to believe is this.  “I am no match for my enemy, so there is no hope.”  We should notice in Genesis 3:15, after placing a curse on the serpent, that God also promises help to mankind.  God sees that Satan has attacked humanity through the woman, and so, God states that He will put a hostility between the woman and the serpent, between her offspring and the serpent’s offspring.  He then promises that the woman will give birth to a particular offspring, and “He will crush [the serpent’s] head, and you will crush his heel.”  It clearly pictures a man, but a man who comes from a woman.  God could have spoke about Adam’s offspring, but it seems clear that God is signaling that the woman will be uniquely instrumental in the bringing forth of the head crusher.  This makes sense when we see the miraculous birth of Messiah Jesus.  No man was involved in the conception of Jesus.  Thus, God gives Eve and Adam hope, a promise.

It is easier to believe the lies of the wounds we receive than to believe God’s promises to us in His word.  There is always a hurt, cynical part of our heart that almost refuses to believe.  God let me be hurt, so how can I trust Him?  Thus, Eve may give herself fully to having children at first.  Hey, if I am going to give birth to the head crusher of my enemy, then let’s do this!  Yet, when Cain kill Abel, Eve realizes that this is more complicated than she may have thought.  Centuries later, they would understand that this will not be a quick turn around.  Thus, the long plan of God can be hard to trust even when it promises hope.

By the way, we must understand that Satan hated, and still hates, this power of humans to create offspring.  God had fit Adam and Eve against their enemy even before he struck.  The Satan tricked Eve, but she would have children.  For his plan to work, he is stuck tricking a new generation over and over again.  Talk about a drudgery.  Yet, in this, he would never know when one of those kids would raise up to crush his head.  Talk about fear.  Every time a man and woman put their trust in God and give birth to the next generation- now not to bring forth Messiah, but because we have a promise that He is helping us against our enemy- he hates it.  This is behind all the attacks against gender, marriage, birth, etc.  Satan hates us because God is using us to crush him in the dust.

God’s Word to us is intended to be a firehose that blasts the crud of lies that has caked itself on our hearts and minds.  It enables us to have faith and believe the Truth over the top of the lies that our heart wants to hang on to.

Sarah (Genesis 18:1-2, 9-15)

Let’s talk about Sarah, the wife of Abraham.  At the point of our passage, Abraham is 99 years old and Sarah is 89.  We might recognize that the ages of humans have been dropping ever since the flood.  Abraham lives to 175 years old, and Sarah lives to 127.  But, even with that in mind, the text tells us that Sarah has passed the age of bearing children.

Now, Abraham had been promised a multitude of offspring by God back when he was 75 (24 years before).  At some point, Sarah realizes that she is not going to have any children so she has Abraham bear a child in her name through her maid servant, Hagar.  This was a cultural mechanism that existed at the time.  Hagar would be considered a second-class wife of Abraham with particular privileges that would not be as great of those of Sarah.  This had happened about 13 years earlier.  Yet,  God had told Abraham that Ishmael would not be the one through whom the Promise would be fulfilled.  It would not be a child that came about by sheer will of man and work of the flesh.  Rather, it would be a miracle of God.

This helps us to see the wound that Sarah had.  She had been unable to bear a child for her husband to whom God had promised many offspring.  She had to live with the social stigma that her husband had no heir because she was fruitless.  She also had to live with the personal feelings of worthlessness.  No matter how much Abraham told her that he loved her, it would not be enough to fill the hurt of the wound in her soul.  He loved her and she loved him.

Let me take a few minutes to address polygamy at this time.  We should recognize that God gave Adam one wife.  The first time we see polygamy mentioned in the Bible, it is Lamech from the line of Cain.  Secondly, the polygamy we see with the patriarchs is itself instructive.  Abraham only “marries” Hagar because Sarah wants a baby so badly that she insists upon it.  Neither of them see it as good, but as an answer for a bad situation.  Of course, Isaac and Rebekah are a single couple with no polygamy.  Yet, with Jacob we see it again.

Notice that Jacob only has eyes for Rachel.  If it had been up to him, he would have only married Rachel and moved on.  Yet, Rachel’s dad tricked him into sleeping with Leah and consummating a tricked marriage.  Of course, he is not leaving without the woman he loves so he ends up married to two sisters.  Yet, these sisters are envious of one another and use the number of babies they have as a club against one another.  This causes Rachel to insist that Jacob have children through her maid servant (as Abraham had done with Hagar).  Then, Leah insists on the same with her maid servant.  None of this presents polygamy as an acceptable thing.  In fact, it begs the wisdom of relying upon it to answer a physical problem.  It only brought trouble to those who practiced it.

No husband (or wife) can fill the wound of their spouse with their love because there are lies that are entrenched within the wound.  Yet, God can use a godly spouse to help the other to heal.

Sarah came to believe that she would never have a child.  When did she become convinced of that?  Probably right before she suggested that Abraham marry her maid servant.  Even prophetic words from God to Abraham were not enough for her to trust and wait.  She may have had a little hope when Hagar had Ishmael, but it is clear that this dissipated.  She had given up on ever having a child as God had promised her husband.  She was the weak point of this plan.  God may love her husband, but He clearly doesn’t love her.  He would be better off to get rid of her.

I can’t know that all of these things went through her mind, but similar things did.  She had come to believe that she would not  be blessed of God and that she was worthless to her husband.

Yet, she would one day have a child as this passage explains.  The thought was ridiculous and caused her to laugh in her heart.  How many times do we give lip service to God, and yet laugh in our heart that anything will change in our life?  Of course, when we persist in idolizing lies in our heart, we will continue to chafe under God’s promises.  Sarah would laugh on the day she realized she was pregnant.  She names her baby “laughter,” Isaac.  However, that alone does not heal the wound.  How many other ways has the ideas of worthlessness and being unloved, not blessed, affected her life (our lives)?

Naomi (Ruth 1:3-5, 8-13, 19-21)

Of the three women, we know the most about what was going through Naomi’s mind.  If you pause and think about what is said by each of her statements, you will see that bitterness had taken hold of her heart.  She was wounded deeply.  Of course, we could say it is for good reason.  What human wouldn’t be bitter and sorrowful, if their spouse and children died and they were left alone and old in a world that was not particularly kind to old and alone people.

This is similar to Job.  He wrestled with how God could bring these things upon him.  What had he done? In his mind, he could only wonder why God was so against him.  Naomi probably said a lot of the same things as Job.

We see Naomi deciding to leave Moab and go back to Israel.  She sends her daughters-in-law back to their families because they will have nothing with her.  In short, she does so because she believes that she is cursed and they need to cut ties with her to get out from under the curse.

Naomi gives voice to several lies.  She states that the LORD is against her, and thus, she has no hope.  It is true that you have no hope if God is against you.  However, she was misreading the situation.  Yes, God let these things happen, but it was not because He was against her.

She also says that the LORD has dealt very bitterly with her.  She further describes this as the LORD testifying against her and afflicting her.  Thus, she is taking it personal.  God has done this to her, and by so doing, He has testified that there is something wrong with her.  These afflictions are taken as being from God to her.  We should be careful of thinking that every bad thing that happens is done by God particularly to us. 

In the story of Job, we see that it is primarily the Devil who is bringing these things upon Job.  Yes, God is allowing it, and so, He is secondarily responsible.  It begs the question.  Can you still trust God when He let’s bad things happen to you?  Will I cling to my hurts and stay stuck in unbelief towards the promises of God?

We need to be proactive in this and fill our minds with the Word of God, His promises.  Don’t laugh at it in your heart.  Or rather, I should say, remind yourself of these things when you feel a cynical chuckle rise in your heart.  Is there anything too hard for God?  No, of course not.  If it is not a question of God’s power, then it is a question of His heart for me.  In my woundedness, I am tempted to see God as trying to harm me and destroy me.  Yet, this can’t be farther from the truth.

When you doubt God’s love for you, you must take time to look back at the cross.  While [you] were yet a sinner, Christ died for [you].  Jesus went to the cross because He loves you and wants to redeem you back from the Fall of humanity, and he wants to deliver us from our enemy, the devil.

Both Sarah and Naomi saw God’s amazing answer in their life.  However, it doesn’t always come as a natural answer.  Some women will never have a child.  Yet, we can recognize that God has purpose in it that is good.  If I can’t have babies in the natural, then I can have spiritual offspring.  How many kids are growing up in this world without the knowledge of God’s love for them?  They will need spiritual moms and dads who come along side of them and help them to heal.

Take time this week to look back through your own life.  What were the ways that you were hurt?  What lies were embedded at that time in your heart and mind?  We are not talking about thinking positive thoughts so that we can attract positive things towards us.  This is about coming into conformity with the truth about what God says.  God loved Jesus.  Yet, he would have to die on a cross.  Everything would tell the human side that God has forsaken him, but God is not a liar.  Jesus pressed on because He trusted the heart of the Father and brought about a greater good than him becoming king of Israel in the first century AD.

Historically, I am a very bad judge of what is “good” in my life.  How many times has God shown me that things of my past, that I spent decades complaining about, were actually a blessing from Him.  They were producing something in me that would be invaluable later.

God tells us that we shall be perfect even as He is perfect (Matthew 5:48).  Can I believe Him?  By the Holy Spirit, with that life-force of God Himself, can I cooperate with God to bring about a good that I can’t even imagine?  Or, perhaps at which I would simply laugh because of all the lies entrenched in my heart?  Let us be those who drop off the lies, and grasp hold of the Truth of God’s love for us!

Lies audio

Pursue What Is Good

1 Thessalonians 5:12-15.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother's Day Sunday, May 7, 2023.

Believers are instructed in a multitude of ways to do what is right and good, but as the Lord defines, not as we define it.  Therein is the rub.  Many people think that they are doing what is right, but they are not using the mind of Christ.  Instead, they have a different way of thinking, a different "wisdom."

Today, we have become so messed up on what is good that some in our government think that it is good to subvert the duty of parents to raise their kids, and seek to scam them into things like transgender surgeries.

It has never been easy to be a girl who is facing the reality of becoming a woman, or a boy who is facing the reality of becoming a man.  However, this is far more perilous in a society that is losing its moorings on the shores of truth.  Such young people need to be encouraged to have faith and trust God in this transition because God has good things for them that happen precisely because it is tough.  In fact, we should recognize that it is a kind of signature of God to create things in such a way that we will need to give ourselves to a it with a faith in Him.  It is not a blind leap of faith, but it is faith nonetheless.  I walk forward bravely trusting that God will use the hard situations in order to lead me to good things.

We can be frozen by fear.  Of course, no one stands still in life physically.  You will become a woman, but you can be stuck at the emotional level of a child in an adult body.  This tragedy is all too common, but it is not what God has planned for us.

Let's look at our passage.

Honor Mothers (v. 12-13)

Paul is writing to the Thessalonians, and he is not so much writing about mothers as he is writing about those who perform functions within the greater body of the Church of Jesus.

I want to remind us of the 5th Commandment in Exodus 20.  "Honor your father and your mother that your days may be long upon the land which the LORD your God is giving you."

I will note two things about this command.  First, the command is addressed to the individual "you."  God is speaking directly to us as individuals and not just to society.  It is not "society's job" to honor mothers.  It is mine.  Yes, if we have a whole society of individuals who are honoring mothers, then we will see that society reflecting that honor.  This doesn't change my primary point.

The second thing is that the Hebrew word for "honor" has the sense of weight and even value. Now, value for things in this life is transitory.  However, it is often the blurred lines between price and value that cause the trouble.  Price is what I am willing to pay for something.  Value is the thing that is obtained.  No price is too high to pay for something that has great value (proverbs 31).  Thus, we need to recognize that moms (parents) have a heavy, valuable, place in our life.  Being a mom, and doing the things that moms do, is an important, heavy thing in our society, more important that any job you can do for our corporations today. 

Our society has done a great disservice to this Republic by treating moms as if they are nothing.  If we really understood just how incredibly heavy, important, and valuable being a mom was no one would want to do it.  This is similar to the way Jesus talks about how important fidelity in marriage is in Matthew 19:8-10.  The disciples respond that “If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.”  We tend to treat the heavy things of God lightly.  We do so at our own harm, and to the detriment of others.

There is so much dysfunction in our homes these days that it requires us to deal with the question.  What does it mean to honor a mom who doesn't deserve it?  Many have been hurt by parents, and only respond to God's call to honor parents with more hurt.  I do believe that we are meant to wrestle with this.  Just as a parent of an undisciplined adult-child wrestles with what it means to love in the current situation, so too an adult child has to wrestle with what it means to honor in the case of a parent who has been absent, or hurtful.  The honest wrestling before God helps us to become something better than we would have.  In fact, it helps us to become more like God.  The key is not to cast off the value or importance of what they were and are in your life.  You can't pretend they don't exist (i.e., act as if they are nothing) because they do exist.  Your heart and mind know that God wanted something better from them in their dealings with you.  Instead of walling them off with pretense, wrestle with doing what is right as God defines it.  Care for them in their declining years even if they failed to care for you in even minimal ways during your childhood.  By doing so, you witness to them of God's righteousness, and His offer of forgiveness and salvation for those who repent.  Ask God to help you to love them even though they are not lovely.  Ask God to help you to care for them even when they do not care.

In Thessalonians 5, Paul most likely is thinking of Church leaders, but he keeps the wording purposefully general.  Moms fit this category of "those who labor" among us.  The labor of being a mom is particularly close to the heart of God.  Mom's represent that one who labors through sorrow to bring a child into the world and then nurtures their life physically, emotionally, and mentally.  She represents a part of God's heart towards us.  God always intends the labor of our life to be a labor of love.  Yet, love is a very trying virtue, just as labor is a trying virtue.  Labor tries and tests us; it refines us, if we will lean into the purpose that God intends in it.

Think about all of the hard work that goes into being a mom.  It is no wonder that countless young women are fearful and intimidated at becoming a mom.  However, all labor has a way of bringing more out of us than we believed possible because we are capable not only doing more than we think, but also of becoming more than we are.  You can grow in ways that your flesh doesn't want to grow, but God designed for you to do, if you trust Him.

I am connecting the word honor with the word "recognize" in verse 12.  It involves not only seeing the labor that moms do, but also perceiving the value and heavy importance they have in our lives.  We need to see moms as God sees them.  None of them are perfect, but they are all incredibly important!  We only harm ourselves when we act as if it is something light and meaningless.

Moms not only have labor to do, but they also have authority from the Lord.  They are "over" their children "in the Lord" in order to "admonish" them.  Parents are directly authorized by God Himself.  He is the source of all proper authority.  This begins in the inherent ability of a man and a woman to conceive and to birth a child.  This natural ability demonstrates a God-given right that women have to birth a child.  When we act upon our right to have a child, it then activates a duty that we have to that child.  All rights have corresponding duties that go along with them.  If we exercise rights without doing the duties, then we create a mess.  The same God who gives us rights will also hold us accountable to the duties that we have in them.

It is tragic to see the many ways that the State is elevating itself and transgressing this primary authority of parents.  However, we cannot place all of the blame upon the State.  There is a reasons that we are here.  The rise of dysfunction within society overflows the home and comes out into our schools, our streets, and public in general.  If a child is being abused by a parent or parents, then the people in that community should step in to help the child.

However, here is the problem.  What is your definition of abuse?  In short, if you insert yourself in a situation in which another person has authority from God, then you had better be correct, i.e., using God's definition of abuse.  It is a holy ground between that parent and God, and God will hold them accountable.  If you step in, you had better take your shoes off (holy ground), be prayed up, and actually be led by God to intervene. 

When the State intervenes, its definition is not the same as God's.  Yes, there are some situations in which we can say that the State really did stop a horrible situation (their definition somewhat coincided with God's).  Yet, in other ways, the State is only creating another abusive environment in which parents are increasingly unable to protect their children.

It does not good to complain.  Instead, we must focus on doing our duty to the children in our lives, and helping moms to rise up to their labor in the Lord.

Paul then says in verse 13 to "esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake."  Esteem deals with how we think about people.  We are to think highly of them, and to do so "in love."  Love tests us all, as I wrote earlier.  Parents are to lead their kids in what it means to love.

Circling back to the parent who has done hurtful things, we should note that we are more likely to label something as hurtful when we are younger.  We can get angry that our parents ground us, or discipline us in any form.  Generally, people grow up and look back to recognize that their parents were simply trying to love them by teaching them something more important than immediate gratification.  Of course, they are not perfect in their attempts to do what is best for us, but neither are we perfect.

This understanding that we should esteem and honor people for the sake of the work that they do is important.  Like an arm-chair quarterback, we can look back and still be too harsh in our judgment.  In this sense, most people just need to have kids for themselves so that they will understand that it is a tough job helping a young person transition into adulthood.  We should respect and esteem that they had a difficult job, and that we ourselves had an impact on how difficult it was.  This should never excuse abuse, but it puts the labor of parenting in perspective.

The last phrase of verse 13 says, "be at peace among yourselves," in the NKJV.  That first part is actually a verb that is active.  It is not focused on merely resisting the urge to make waves, or be frantic.  Rather, it is calling us to actively be working for peace, a peacemaker, with others.  This is a big part of a mom's job, especially if there are multiple kids in the home.

Some people are not interested in peace, or they just don't know how to come to terms with peace.  In such cases, the best that a person can do is to put the offer on the table, and then to be open for change down the road.  You may have to give them some space.  However, always be praying for change, and ready to forgive when true repentance comes around.

I think peace is a minimum that God desires between us.  Even more, we should walk in love with one another.  Yet, we could say that peace is simply one facet of the virtue of love.  It is the best basis for peace with someone.  Absence of turbulence is nice, but we are called to active peacemaking.

Pursue what is good (v. 14-15)

Families really do need to hold on to what Paul says in verse 14.  Pursue what is good both for yourselves and for all.  Our flesh will always bend things towards ourselves, even if just a little bit.  As I said earlier, we can also bend the definition of what is "good" too much towards ourselves.  We really need a relationship with Jesus through the Holy Spirit in order to hear the Word of God, and sense the conviction of the Holy Spirit in regards to what the "good" is that needs to happen in each situation.   This should be our prayer.  "Lord, please show me what will make for the good both for myself and for everyone involved."

Part of pursuing what God says is good will involve warning the "unruly."  This word pictures a soldier who is out of ranks and may even be AWOL.  This is similar to the biblical concept of submission.  It has the idea of taking your proper place within the ranks and performing the proper duty.  Thus, the unruly person  is refusing to embrace their proper place and duty.    This can be a child who refuses to listen to their parents, or a government who oversteps its bounds of authority. 

Those who castigate the whole biblical idea that God created young girls to grow up and become adult human females who are able to conceive, give birth, and raise a next generation to worship God and bless others, should slow down and think through what they are doing.  They are destroying the very foundation and fabric of what it means to be a woman- and a man for that matter.  They may rejoice in that because they want to replace it.  However, when you fight against the nature that God hard-wired into humans, you never come out on top.  Any society we try to create to replace one built upon a biblical world-view will end up being sub-par.  They will find themselves working directly against God, and they will have to give answer for that to Him.

Thus, a warning from a parent to a child involves cautioning against certain behaviors.  We do this socially when we warn people at a wedding that what God is putting together no one should take apart, those in the marriage included.  God will hold you accountable for working at odds to His purpose.

Yet, admonition, or warning, also involves teaching the good that a person should embrace.  We need to understand and promote God's good purpose in becoming a mom, for her, for the children, for the husband, and for society.  

All of us come into the world in a weak position.  If someone doesn't help us, we will die.  God's design makes it clear that the most likely people to take care of that child are the people who came together in love and produced that child.  Yes, the child will affect society and can be an asset or liability to it.  However, that does not put society in the best position to control the raising of that child.  The best scenario for any child is a male and female committed to a life-time, loving relationship, preparing them for life.

Next, Paul tells us to comfort the faint-hearted.  It pictures those who have lost heart and are discouraged.  The word "comfort" here is often used in the context of someone who has had a loved one die.  Mary and Martha were comforted by their neighbors when their brother Lazarus died.  The most common way that we comfort the bereaved is through stories about the deceased.  A young mother metaphorically is wrestling with the "death" of a past youthful life with little responsibility.  She needs us to comfort her, rather than to berate her.  Young moms need to hear the stories of older moms' and their own transitions.  It isn't easy, but it isn't as impossible as your heart and mind are telling you at the moment.  There is joy on the other side of the hard work of today, all along the way.

Paul then tells us to support the weak.  This deals with people who are in a weak position, whether through broken relationships, financial troubles, past trauma, etc.  This is similar to the faint-hearted.  We are told to support them.  Instead of looking down on young mothers, we should come along side of them and help, be a support.  What is it they need?  Experienced moms are in the best position to know how to come alongside of a young mom and support her.  In fact, mothering itself could be defined by helping the weak out of compassion and love.

We are also to be patient with all.  Patience here is the long-fuse term.  Yes, we need to hang in there and not quit easily, but we also need to restrain ourselves from "blowing up" to easily.  All relationships are made worse when we have a short fuse with one another.

Patience does not mean being silent and never dealing with issues.  Often, when a person blows up, it is because they have not talked about things that they should have.  Thus, patience ties in with peacemaking.  Whether communication isn't happening, or a person just doesn't change, we easily become weary with other people.  Understanding that moms who are actively raising kids are under a lot of stress all of the time should be in the back of our minds at all times.  No, they are not the only ones who deal with stress, but that does not undercut the point.  It only makes it more important for us all to work for peace and be patient with one another.

Of course, trauma and past hurts can make any relationship difficult and requires great patience on the part of the other party.  Sometimes both people have past hurts and difficulties.  Let us love one another through patience.

Lastly, Paul calls for pursuing what is good for yourselves and for all.  Another way to say this is to reject a "pay back wrong for wrong" attitude.  It is almost a knee-jerk response for us to give back to others what they are dishing out.  However, this never brings about lasting and good change.

As the culture wars heat up, it is easy to see people as the enemy, and to justify all manner of actions against others.  There are definitely some who have given themselves over to doing evil to others, but Christians are not to respond in kind.

There is a difficult and heavy thing here that we need to carry.  We don't want to do so, but the Lord calls us to it.  It is called a burden.  We need relationship with God as the foundation to a relationship with others, especially when they are being an enemy to us.

When we resist people who are doing unrighteous things, we must do so with an eye to helping them to see the truth.  We don't do them any favors by hiding in our closets or retreating from the public debate.  However, we need the wisdom of God as to how and when to interject the truth.

Our attitude can sour with a sense of hopelessness.  "It doesn't work...It won't do any good!"  Listen, you cannot change society, but you can make a difference in the experience of people in your sphere of influence.  Take time to support the moms in your life regardless of how well they have done in the past because their labor is incredibly important to our families and to our Republic.  If enough moms are encouraged to do a godly job in raising the next generation who knows what is possible in this land.

Pursue Good audio

The Proverbs-31 Man

Proverbs 31:1-9.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on June 19, 2022, for Father’s Day.

Today, we will focus on the Proverbs-31 man, and I don’t mean a man who is fortunate enough to marry a Proverbs-31 woman. 

No, we are talking about King Lemuel in verses 1-9.  You may even now be racking your brain trying to remember exactly who King Lemuel is.  This is the only place in the Bible where he is mentioned.  In fact, Lemuel means “king of the Lord,” or “king to the Lord.”

It is important for Christian men, and especially fathers, to focus on following the wisdom of King Lemuel’s mother so that we might be the leaders that He has called us to be.

Let’s look at our passage.

The path of a man who listens to wisdom

Proverbs is essentially written to supply wisdom for those reading it.  In this passage, we are given the instruction between a mother, and her son.  It seems most likely that Lemuel is remembering instruction that took place before he was to become king.  His mother took time to instruct him knowing that he would one day become king.  Perhaps, Lemuel is a nickname that is given to remind him that he is to be a king for the Lord, and not for selfish purposes.  It would be important for him to live, to walk, and to decide wisely.  You could say that the stakes are even higher because his life will impact and influence a whole nation.

It is interesting that wisdom is personified as a woman throughout the book of Proverbs.  This young prince receiving instruction from his mother is strengthened with the connotation that his mother represents wisdom.  All children need parents that will speak wisdom into their life and not folly- remember that folly is also represented as a woman.

As children grow, there is a manifold witness to them.  First, their parents attempt to teach them about life to one degree or another.  Second, a child should be introduced to the Scriptures by their parents.  It is the wisdom of God being witnessed to them.  Obviously, many parents do not teach their kids about the Word of God, so it is the duty of believers to share God’s Word with others.  This is an important witness to wisdom that God intends for them to have.  Third, life itself is the final witness to children about wisdom.  The rebukes of life are pictured in many proverbs.  As a child grows, lives, and makes decisions, they receive feedback from the world around them.

Of course, all kids will reach a point where they will have an adversarial relationship with the wisdom that has been given to them by others.  There will always be a part of humans that seeks to know for themselves.  However, the wise man is one who listens to wisdom.

The Past: We might be inclined to treat verse 2 as simply poetic address, but that wouldn’t be wise.  Lemuel’s mother addresses him in a way that emphasizes his connection to what has come before him.  She puts the question, “What?” to him three times with a different address each time. What is the lesson that she has for him?  She reminds him that he is first her son (and, of course, the son of his father).  She desires him not to only be her son, but even more to be a son of wisdom who lives wisely.  Kids must be instructed while they are young because these are the days when it is most clear to them that they need parents.  A wise parent will not wait until they think their kid is old enough to receive teaching.

Secondly, she addresses him as the son of her womb.  She went through sorrows and labored to bring him into this world.  Though a child didn’t ask to be born, they should still have a healthy respect for the difficulty that their parents, and ancestors went through to bring them into the world.

Lastly, he is a son of her vows.  This picture of a woman making a covenant, or vow, before God in order to obtain a child is all throughout the Bible.  Each of the patriarchs had wives who struggled to have children.  Of course, not all vows are about having children.  Still, she reminds him of her relationship with God and his existence as the proof of that relationship.

Wise men understand their connection to what has come before them in their parent’s home, their hometown, nation, and world.  We should humbly and wisely stand on the shoulders of the past knowing that those who created it are our foundation.

Women:  In verse three, Lemuel was warned about not giving his strength to women.  It is important not to make this say more than it is saying.  First, what is meant in the phrase “give your strength to women?”  Second, we should notice that it is “women,” a plural word.

It would seem strange for this proverb to be warning a man against women and then turn around to point out the quintessential woman, who should be desired by any man, in verses 10 and following.  You might see that proverb as an instruction of a parent to a daughter (be like this), or to a son (this is the kind of girl you want). 

“Charm is deceitful; beauty is passing, but a woman who fears the LORD, she will be praised.”  Finding a woman (singular) that is a good wife takes wisdom and prayer.  Spending the strength of your life with her to bring glory to God is a perfect picture of Christ and his Church. 

So, what is Lemuel being warned of?  He is being warned of focusing the mental and physical strength of his life on pursuing women (plural) and the pleasures therein.  Heaping up a harem of women will only destroy the good that a king can do.  What does it profit a man to have pursued and enjoyed many women in life, and yet to have lost his own soul?  Becoming king is not about getting everything your flesh desires.  It is about glorifying God and serving His People.  A good woman can be a strength to a good man when they are both focused on glorifying God in all that they do.

Intoxication:  Verses 4-7 highlight the error of intoxication.  A man who listens to wisdom is not trapped in intoxication.  Another image would be bitten by intoxication.  Proverbs 23:32-32 pictures wine like a serpent in the cup that stings those who drink too much of it.  “Do not look on wine when it is red, when it sparkles in the cup, when it swirls around smoothly; at the last it bites like a serpent, and stings like a viper.”  Lemuel’s mother warns him that it is important that a king not be given to drinking and intoxication.

Of course, the mother recognizes that there are situations where alcohol might be useful.  She states that wine should be given to those who are painfully dying, or those who are bitter of heart, so that they might forget their sorrow.  However, this is not projected as an answer for those people with any hope in it.  If you are painfully dying, or in the midst of bitter sorrow, God holds a better hope out to us than just alcohol. Yet, for our purposes here, this is not the point that Lemuel’s mother is making.  She is concerned that he not become a drinker.

Intoxication affects our memory.  We would forget the Law of God, and we might pervert justice that is our responsibility.  People who love their family sometimes become stuck in the grip of addiction.  Yet, the sad truth is that alcohol and drugs cause us to forget the thing we should remember.  Under their influence, we lose our inhibitions and do things that are harmful to us and the people we love.  How careful we should be in our lives when people depend on us. 

You might be inclined to protest that you are not a king.  In fact, as a Christian, there is a lost world out there that doesn’t even know that it depends upon Christians who walk soberly and work to bring the light of Christ into their lives.  People’s lives depend upon the decisions we make, whether wise or foolish.  Christ is the ultimate King, Prophet, and Priest.  However, we are to be learning to become more like him.  Therefore, there is a lesser sense in which we have a priestly, prophetic, and kingly duty to lead a lost world to the LORD!

Judging righteously and helping the needy:  Verses 8 and 9 give the true purpose of anyone who is in a position to affect others, whether a parent to a child, or a king to the people.  We should be a voice for those who are about to die before those who care not for their death, and may be even causing it.  This death may be literal or metaphorical.  Christ pleaded the cause of the lost before the religious leaders of his day.  With the woman caught in adultery, Christ reminds them of the gravity of executing someone for sin when you have sin in your own life.  Yet, Christ was not promoting adultery, or any fornication for that matter.  He tells her to go and sin no more. 

Nobody was righteous there that day, but Jesus.  The woman wasn’t righteous and the religious leaders were not righteous.  However, she was the one that no one was speaking up for.  God loved her and didn’t want her to die and go into eternity lost.  Open your mouth is repeated twice.  We cannot be silent, even when powers may attempt to silence us. 

Yet, we should not be shouting our truth to power out of self-serving motivations.  Rather, we are reminded to make righteous judgments.  In John 7:24, Jesus said, “Do not judge according to appearance but judge with a righteous judgment.”  It is not enough to plead the natural cause of the natural poor and needy.  Even greater is the problem of being in spiritual poverty, and being held in bondage by the powers of this world and our own sin.  May all Christian men aspire to be such a man as Jesus was because this is precisely the kind of man that Lemuel’s mother was instructing him to be.

Proverbs-31 Man audio

What is a Woman?

Genesis 1:26-27; 2:18, 20-22.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on May 08, 2022, Mother's Day.

[Note: There is no audio available for this sermon.]

We will take a break from our series in the book of Acts in order to focus on mothers today.

It has come to my attention that there are some people who do not know what a woman is.  Since, moms are first women, it is important for us to understand exactly what a woman is.  Now, if these were just kids who couldn't define what a woman is, then we could rest at ease.  However, these are full-grown adults who have graduated from our "best" universities that are having a hard time defining what a woman is.  We have reached a point in our society where the definition of woman is essentially: you will just intuitively know it if you are one.

Of course, the halls of academia and the philosophers of our age are purposefully breaking down the clarity that God has built within His creation, within reality.  For them, there can be no “mothers” in the future.  Only professionals can perfectly create and train the next generation.  Only smart people can know how many kids we actually need.  It is humorous that, for all of their great wisdom, God did not agree with them.  Instead, He made man and woman as we really are.  In general, He gave the power of creating and raising children into the hands of moms and dads, and not to professionals.  This intelligentsia is currently muddling the definition of men and of women (similarly to how they have been muddling the definition of family and marriage) to the point that men can now be considered women and even mothers.  However, this is just a transitional stage.  The end game is to destroy the whole concept altogether.  Men, women, boys, girls, families are all doomed by the purposes of the current intelligence running this planet.

Let’s go back to the beginning in order to understand what a woman is.

An essential part of imaging God

Humans are unique among all living things on this planet because we were created in God’s image and likeness (Genesis 1:26-27).  The Image of God, or in Latin the Imago Dei, is the essential difference between us and all other things.  Though evolutionists try to make man just another animal, it really doesn’t pass the sniff test.  There is something essentially different about humans and the Bible calls it the Image of God.

Throughout Genesis, we should recognize that the Hebrew word “Adam” starts out as a descriptor and only later becomes a particular name.  It can be used to mean the name Adam, or it can mean “a man,” or it can refer to “a human,” even “humankind.”  We should be careful reading maleness into the word in verse 26.  God did not say, “Let’s make Adam in our image…”  It is being used indefinitely and should be translated a “a man,” or “a human.”  Older translations that simply put “man” are using it to essentially mean human.  It is interesting that God states His intention to make “a human” and then the next phrase is “let them have dominion…”  Chapter one of Genesis pictures the individual and plural aspect of humans altogether.  It is not until chapter two that we are given an expanded look that emphasizes the maleness and femaleness of men and women.

We should note the plural aspect that is connected to God both in this verse and throughout the Bible.  It makes sense that God would design humans with a plurality, if we are to be made in His likeness.  Image and likeness are most likely being used as synonyms.  However, the word “image” is more of an external resemblance.  Whereas, “likeness” has a more abstract sense to it.  The image of God is not only connected to the male, but rather to humans.  The imaging of God is something that men and women have individually, but also as we operate together.

Women, you were made in the image of God in a unique way.  You must reject this androgynous notion where we work to erase all the differences between men and women.  To do so is to attempt to erase God’s image within us.  Women image God in ways that men cannot, and we image God together in ways that we cannot alone.  Your greatest value is not in being married or in having children.  Your greatest value is being an imager of God.

God’s purpose was to give humans dominion over the earth.  This too goes back to the image of God.  Just as God exercises dominion over the heavens, humans would be His representatives upon the earth.  The way in which we exercise such dominion is important.  We either rightly reflect God’s image in our dominion, or we image something other than God.  We are not to destroy the earth and its animals, and yet neither are we to elevate them above ourselves.

For today’s purpose, notice that it is both men and women who are to have dominion over the earth.  It pictures a side-by-side dominion of two beings, who are in the image of God, working together in one accord.

Verse 28 gives another command to humans (men and women).  They are to be fruitful and multiply.

This involves the sexual aspect of a woman and a man.  The woman, Eve, would also become Adam’s wife.  Together they would begin to populate the planet.  By the way, Adam and Eve had many children beyond Cain, Abel, and Seth. 

However, fruitfulness and multiplying are about more than reproduction.  What would God think of a family that had 20 kids, but never taught them the way of the Lord and how to be a righteous person like the one pictured in Psalm 1?  I doubt that he would say that they had done a pretty good job.

Fruitfulness would connect to how they tended the garden and how they exercised their dominion as they increased numerically.  Were they a blessing like a fruitful tree, or were they a curse like a poisonous berry?  Does life flow in our wake, or does death and suffering follow us all the days of our life?  Physical fruitfulness should be paired with the greater fruitfulness that is in harmony with the God we are to image.

In light of this, mothering is one part of what women do, and the birthing of babies is only one component of giving life to our children.  We should recognize that, in general, men and women pair up and marry.  Many of those go on to have children.  However, even Jesus recognized that not all are called or “given” to be married, and “given” to have children.  Matthew 19:12 says, “For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of Heaven’s sake.  He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.”  Jesus points out that there are congenital reasons why some people don’t marry in adulthood.  There are also times like kings and masters who have control over another person’s experience in life.  Lastly, Jesus recognizes that some people choose to be single for the sake of doing God’s will.  Like Paul who counseled Christians to give thought to the single life, Jesus recognizes that some can “accept this.”  A woman does not have to marry and become a mother to have value.  Those things are valuable, and moms need to know that as a wife and as a mom they are of great value.  However, those valuable things are on a greater, foundational value of being an imager of God.  Single people who never marry or have children have not fallen short.  Rather, they have chosen a path that only a small percentage are able to choose.  Even the single among us are able to participate in being fruitful upon this planet in both natural and supernatural things.

Genesis 2:18-22 pairs the concepts of aloneness and help.  Adam would be alone if it were not for the woman Eve.  God did not choose to give Adam a petri dish and the knowledge of how to create another “man.”  He gave Adam a woman.  She would help him in the gargantuan task of imaging God, being fruitful, and subduing the earth.  She was God’s answer for his aloneness.  Notice that God let Adam experience aloneness before he let him experience the help of the Lord.  This is another aspect of being in His image and separates us from the animals.

It is easy to think of Eve being a helper as a subclass.  The term in Hebrew is ezer and is seen in names like Eliezer (My God is Help) and Ebenezer (Stone of Help).  It is always used in the context of great need.  When Israel was under military threat, they needed help and were tempted to look to the Egyptians or others to be their answer.  All throughout the Bible, Israel is counseled to look to God as their help, and not other people, other nations.  Here are several examples.  Deuteronomy 33:26, “There is no one like the God of Jeshurun, Who rides the heavens to help [ezer] you, and in His excellency on the clouds.”  Psalm 146:5, “Happy is he who has the God of Jacob for his help, whose hope is in the LORD his God.” 

The woman is to be God’s help to do something that would overwhelm the man who is alone.  She is representative of God’s help.  It doesn’t come in the ways that we would create, but in a way that God creates.

The woman also represents humanity as a helper to God.  Christ and the Church are described as the Mystery that marriage is representing.  In a strange way, humanity is the helper that God has created for Himself in a display of His wisdom.  He who is the ultimate source of any Help creates a helper for Himself.

These things are all at the core of what a woman is, and is the foundation of what every mom is.  May God help us to honor the mothers in our lives and help them to image God as we all should.