Grieving the Holy Spirit

Ephesians 4:25-32.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on June 05, 2022, Pentecost Sunday.

We talked about the gifts of the Holy Spirit last week.  One thing we know about the Corinthian Church is that they were very busy exercising spiritual gifts, especially speaking in tongues.  It is important to note that Paul does not question that their spiritual gifts are genuine, just that they were not treating one another in the way that the Holy Spirit wanted them to do.

This disconnect can happen when we focus on the gifts of the Holy Spirit instead of the purpose for which they are given.  We must never treat the spiritual gifts as a badge of honor that cries out, “Look at me!”  They are a means to an end.  They serve a holy purpose and that purpose is to help one another become like Jesus.  Yes, the whole purpose of spiritual gifts is to help everyone become like Jesus, i.e., fight sin in our life and live out his righteousness.

It is a sad condition that many who appear to be operating spiritual gifts are not becoming like Christ, but harm themselves and others.

Let’s look at our passage.

Do not grieve the Holy Spirit

Ephesians chapter 4 opens with six verses that point Christians to work in order to keep the unity of the Holy Spirit in the bond of peace.  Always remember that it is the unity of the Holy Spirit that we are to keep, and not just unity around a leader, or leaders, who are not following the Holy Spirit.  There is a spirit of this world that attempts to bring us under its false and perverse unity.

In verses 7-16. Paul shows that the whole purpose of spiritual gifts is that we may all take on the image of Christ, which should exhibit as unity of the Holy Spirit in our midst.

Ephesians 4:17-24 has Paul speaking about our need to put off the old man and put on the new.  We can see this as putting off the image of fallen Adam and putting on the image of Christ.  We can also see it as putting of the old me that followed the flesh, and putting on the new me that is co-laboring with the Holy Spirit to become like Christ (following the Spirit).

This brings us to our text where Paul lists out concrete issues that we must deal with in becoming like Christ and thereby coming into a unity of the Holy Spirit.  In the middle of this list, Paul points us to the necessity of working with the Holy Spirit.  When we neglect, even refuse, to follow and listen to Him, it grieves Him (vs. 30).  I want to look at this issue of grieving the Holy Spirit first, and then, we will walk through the list of issues that Paul points out.

The idea of grieving the Holy Spirit was talked about by the prophet Isaiah nearly 800 years before Paul in Isaiah 63:9-19. 

“9 In all their affliction He was afflicted, and the Angel of His Presence saved them; in His love and in His pity He redeemed them; and He bore them and carried them all the days of old.  10 But they rebelled and grieved His Holy Spirit; so He turned Himself against them as an enemy, and He fought against them.”

In Isaiah, we are being pointed back to those days of Israel’s affliction in Egypt, and the salvation of God leading them by the Angel of His Presence.  This parallels the Christian experience today.  We are being led out of the spiritual Egypt of this world and over the top of the impotent resistance of the Pharaoh of this world.  Jesus is leading us to an eternity dwelling with God in a universe flowing with milk and honey.  This is our ultimate inheritance.

There is another parallel to the inheritance that God has for us in this life.  He is giving us our territory, our own mind, heart, and soul (“possess your soul”).  There are giants of sin and bondage to fight, even evil spirits that war against our soul.  However, by the power of the Holy Spirit, we can gain victory in this life and take possession of our inheritance.

Yet, in Isaiah 63, we see that Israel rebelled and grieved the Holy Spirit, which led to the Assyrian exile for the northern ten tribes, and eventually the Babylonian exile for Judah and Benjamin.  Paul is essentially calling us back from that path of grieving the Holy Spirit and coming under God’s discipline.

There appears to be two aspects of God’s heart for us.  He hurt for Israel when they were in bondage, and so He delivered them.  However, after centuries of rebelling against Him, He was grieved by their willful desire to sin and reject Him.

In a similar way, it is possible for Christians to be so willful in sin, and so inattentive to the love of the Lord, that we grieve the Holy Spirit.  Of course, He will faithfully discipline us as any good Father would with His children.

We should note that the Holy Spirit is grieved partially because we are working at odds to His purpose.  However, Spurgeon points out that the Holy Spirit grieves over us because He knows the misery that sin will cause for those sinned against, and also those who do the sin.  The Holy Spirit also knows the correction from the Father we must receive that wouldn’t be necessary if we just listened.  Any parent can identify with that let-down feeling one gets when they realize that they are going to have to discipline their child, when they were hoping that they were past that.  The Holy Spirit also knows how much communion, fellowship, peace and joy that we lose along the way because we persist in our rebellion.

Christian, don’t fight with the Holy Spirit.  Let Him empower you to fight against sin, both in knowing what to fight, and how to fight.

Paul reminds us that we have been sealed in the Holy Spirit.  Actually, back in Ephesians 1:13, Paul says that we are sealed “with the Holy Spirit.”  Because He is God, the Holy Spirit can be both the thing that we are sealed inside of, and the seal itself.

A seal typically has two purposes in the Bible.  It protects the contents that are inside, and it identifies, or authenticates, the contents.  The presence of the Holy Spirit in our life is a sign to all evil things around us that we belong to God.  As long as we stay in the Spirit, the enemy cannot truly take away our victory.  The Holy Spirit is also the sign that we are genuine believers and not just people hanging to the edges of the group.

Paul states that this sealing of the Holy Spirit is to protect and identify us until the Day of Redemption.  In both Ephesians chapter 1 and 4, Paul ties this sealing work of the Holy Spirit to the Day of Redemption.  Of course, salvation is a day of redemption, but it is not the completion of our redemption.  Redemption is the getting back of something that has been lost.  At salvation, we are redeemed spiritually as fellowship with God is restored.  However, we are still dying beings and our bodies are not redeemed.  Scripture always connects the Day of Redemption to the ultimate redemption of our bodies.  Note Romans 8:23.

“…but we also who have the firstfruits of the Spirit, even we ourselves groan within ourselves, eagerly waiting for the adoption, the redemption of our body.”

We are saved in the hope that there is a day of resurrection for us, along with all of the people of God.  The Holy Spirit is our guarantee that God will keep His word!

Sin versus the life of Christ

This brings us back to our everyday lives.  In some ways, they may seem mundane, repetitive, even a chore.  However, as a believer in Jesus who is sealed by His Holy Spirit, we are on a journey of becoming like Jesus.  The things that you face every day that tempt you to sin are the giants that you are meant to take on and fight in the power of the Holy Spirit.  He gives us power to say, “No,” to sin.

Paul walks through several sins that so easily trip up the work of the Spirit in our life and the unity that we are supposed to have with one another.  These things grieve the Holy Spirit.

Paul tells us not to lie, but to speak the truth instead.  People lie to each other for various reasons, but they all are rooted in fear.  The Holy Spirit is leading us to speak the truth in love, rather than lying to one another.  Lying becomes the cop-out, the easy way that isn’t really the easy way.  It seems easy at first, but in the end, you will be stuck in a quagmire of lie after lie that you must tell to protect earlier lies.

Sometimes it would be better if we said nothing at all.  Leaving room for the Holy Spirit is better than giving in to sin.  However, sometimes we are silent because we are afraid of what will happen if we raise our concerns.  Remember that just because I am angered by something, it doesn’t mean that I am right.  The key is hearing from the Holy Spirit whether we should be silent or speak the truth in love.

Paul then tells us that we must not let our anger lead us to sin, and we should deal with it today.  Anger is not our problem.  Our problem is that anger often motivates us to sin.  Fight or flight are often motivated by anger.

Now, anger is good in that it is that internal alarm system that lets us know when we have allowed something to continue too long without doing something about it.  When it goes off, we know that we need to do something.  However, we often do not think well when we are angry. 

Scripture says to be angry and not sin.  This does not mean that we simply eat the anger and keep quiet.  I need to deal with what angers me today.  This doesn’t mean we have to resolve the issue before we go to sleep.  However, we do need to start the work of dealing with our anger today.  Don’t put it off.

Sometimes I will find that I shouldn’t have been angry, or that I am angry out of selfish reasons.  However, sometimes God is using my anger to wake up others who are being insensitive to the Holy Spirit and others.  He sometimes speaks to us through others, and I don’t just mean through holy prophets.  God can speak to us even through sinners, if we are listening for His Spirit.  Don’t pick apart criticism looking for any little error so that you can disregard it.  Instead, pray and hear what the Spirit of the Lord is saying.

In verse 27, we are told to not give place to the devil in our lives.  Only Christ through the Holy Spirit should have a place in our life, but we can give territory to the devil.  Giving him a place in your life gives him an area from which to attack your faith.  It might be a little sin that you don’t want to give up, or it might be a pet lie that he keeps whispering in your ear that you won’t let go of.  Jesus said in John 14, “the ruler of this world is coming, and he has nothing in me.”  This is true of Jesus, but it is not necessarily true for us.  We must work hard to press the devil out of our hearts and minds, and keep him out.  Like a little wedge, the devil will use any place of sin that we give him to tap and tap until he topples our faith.  True repentance is the only way to take back territory from the devil.

Paul then moves to stealing.  We must not steal, but labor in order to be a benefit to others.  Just because you work doesn’t mean that you won’t need help yourself.  The intention is that you will get to a place where God can use you to help others.  Don’t take the path of the life-sucking leech.  Instead, take the path of Jesus, which is being a life-giving person.  Too many people today justify theft because they feel like society is not giving them what they deserve, or are owed.  Christians should reject such an attitude.  God is our source and supply.  He knows exactly what I need, and I should be thankful whether little or much.  Both of them are a test of our faith in different ways.

Verse 29 moves to our speech.  Don’t speak rotten words, but rather words that edify others.  Rotten words are at best useless words.  Words that give no benefit to the other person.  However, rotten words can also be harmful to others.  A life-giving source, a person who is like Jesus, should speak only those words that will help others to become more like him.  Yes, I know.  Only a perfect man can tame the tongue.  That only means that you will have trouble in this area.  Welcome to discipleship.  It isn’t easy.

Paul ends with a summation of the character of Christ in verse 32.  None of us are perfect at all times in all of these things, yet.  We will need to walk in the kindness and tenderness of the Lord Jesus Christ as we learn to forgive one another.

It is not good enough to be exercising spiritual gifts, while all along grieving the Holy Spirit through the way that we mistreat one another.  May God help us to pursue love AND desire the spiritual gifts!

Grieving the Holy Spirit audio