Becoming a Woman of God

1 Corinthians 13:11-13.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother’s Day Sunday, May 11, 2025.

Today we are going to talk about maturity.  Whether you are a young girl on the edge of womanhood, or a seasoned veteran, God has made you for the things that you will face.

I say this because we often feel like we are facing things that are too much for us.  “I can’t do this!”  We may say.  However, it is often us simply being afraid or intimidated.

Let me just say that we do not need to worry about our ability to do it (whatever “it” may be) when we face these things.  Yet, we do need to learn how to do it with God, in relationship with Him.

Let’s look at our passage.

The intimidating nature of maturity

In this passage, Paul is dealing with spiritual gifts within the Christian community that are being expressed in their meetings.  In the middle of two chapters about spiritual gifts (chapters 12 and 14), he shows them that godly love is the foundation upon which any spiritual gift should be exercised.

Most of chapter 13 focuses on the necessity of love and what godly love looks like.  However, at the end of the chapter (in our text), Paul uses the example of a child becoming an adult in order to make his point about spiritual gifts.  This is a natural progression in the life of every person.  When we reach adulthood, there are things that were a big part of our childhood that need to drop off.  Conversely, there are things that are a part of our childhood that should never be cast off.  He ties this back to the godly love that he has been calling them to do.  Faith, hope, and love are intended to remain in the life of an adult. 

Of course, Paul’s point is not about natural maturity.  He isn’t even talking about spiritual maturity in our lives, though that is an element here.  Paul sees this life, where Christians are living mortal lives by the power and leading of the Holy Spirit, as the childhood of our eternal life.  At the resurrection, we will enter into the adulthood phase of our experience.  There are things in the spiritual life of this age that are God-given, necessary components for now, but they will no longer be needed when we step into the perfect relationship with God the Father and His Son that will be experienced then.

Let’s pull on this maturity angle a little more. 

Every child faces the intimidating nature of the maturity process.  Some can’t wait and rush into adult things.  Whereas, others are reticent and slower at moving forward.  Both types face feelings of being in over their head, or even paralyzing moments that can keep us from starting, or finishing.

We need to see God’s signature in the fact that the things we were made to do are intimidating to us.  The things we were made to do will require us to become greater than we are now.  However, it is not something that you go to school in order to be trained.  Working a job and providing a place to live takes discipline that few teenagers have.  However, everyone of those teenagers (short of a debilitating condition) were made with the capacity to grow into a person who can do that.  Things like schooling, work, marriage, having children, and even growing old, can be given preparation, but the preparation will not make those things easy.  The things themselves cause us to grow, to mature, to become more than we were before.

A young person is not yet equal to the task before them, but they will grow as a person as they trust God and walk forward into the task.  Part of maturity is discovering just how childish our thinking is about adult things.  Reality crashes into the infantile notions in our head.  This helps us to mature.

Why do we have a society of people, young and old, who are kicking against reality?  Less and less kids have had an adult model maturity in a good way.  The supports in our society that used to encourage kids to move forward are all but shot.  Kids need good examples of moms and dads, grandmas and grandpas, teachers and bosses who can example to them a proper response to these difficult things.  The active parenting of a mom and dad are meant to come off, like training wheels.  However, this analogy loses the idea of a relationship that has matured into something greater.

Long before a kid knocks on the door to adulthood, they have discovered that they have weaknesses and shortcomings.  Some of these are physical.  They can be permanent, but many are taken care of by physical maturation.  Other weaknesses will have to do with character. 

In fact, physical maturity acts like a sort of deadline.  It will happen whether you are ready for adult life or not.  All children need to be taught about the God who loves them and provides help for their failings.  They need to know that they can go forward even when things are not perfect yet.  Notice the transition in our text from verse 11 to verse 12.  This life is the childhood of eternity.  We are not yet what are going to be.  We are in an imperfect time.  Paul is recognizing that things are not perfect in this life, but God has made a way for us through Jesus.  The Corinthians were pursuing something that seemed to be the perfect in their mind.  But, they were thinking like kids.  Their understanding of what God was doing in them in this mortal life needed to grow.  Spiritual gifts are for this life, not the next.  What is important is to do them by the love of God and for His purposes.

Paul doesn’t touch on this, but you can rest in God’s design even when life is going along faster than you desire.  Just like physical maturity presses the issue in our adult matters of this life, so it will continue to push us to the edge of death and beyond.  Like any deadline that is along way off, we can spend little time thinking about it, until it is knocking on our door. 

Adults need to empathize with kids going through this transition, just as we all should empathize with people who are transitioning from this life to the next.  The biggest thing we can do for one another is to love one another with the love described in this chapter, God’s love.

I hope that you are hearing the truth that you can face these things and rest in the fact that God has designed you for them.  You are not the one who just can’t do it.  Don’t dwell in the land of anxiety and worry.  Instead, rest in God’s wisdom and foresight.

The need for maturity in natural things

We need to mature in body, in mind and in interpersonal relationships.  When we talk about anxiety, we are recognizing the internal development of our heart and mind.  We need to grow in emotional maturity as well as cognitive maturity.  In fact, the things that we feel and think will naturally change (hopefully mature) as we grow older.  However, we can hit roadblocks in this.

Some people did not grow up with the ideal situation.  God intended that a child be produced in the context of a man and woman who love each other with a godly love and are committed for life to one another.  The child is meant to be born into a home of love that expands to make room for them out of love.  This will help the child to mature in many ways.

Yet, a kid doesn’t have to have a “perfect situation” in this world in order to mature in body, mind and social skills.  Many people have come out of very bad situations, and yet chose to live differently.  Other people’s poor choices do not have to rule our life.  Oh, they will impact us, but they cannot take our decision to grow up in body, mind and relationships.

Paul is writing to the Corinthian Christians who were having a lot of maturity issues between themselves.  Some respond to such a problem through isolation.  However, God did not make us to be alone.  Even an introvert is merely a descriptor of those who are more internal than those who are external-oriented.  They are both in relationships.  In fact, we are not equipped to do life alone, and the human race would die out in one generation if we all chose the alone path.

Mother’s Day emphasizes those women who have come into a relationship with a man and have given birth to a child.  This is God’s design, and it works best when the parents love the child from the context of their own loving relationship.

Though the majority of men and women are “wired” for marriage, there are some who are not.  Yet, even the celibate life is not lived alone.  We are designed to be in appropriate loving relationships with others.

As you mature physically, emotionally, mentally and socially, the supports that were there in your childhood are being removed.  Some happen fast.  However, some happen slow.

The hardest support to face is that of the people who have loved you in your life.  In general, people face the passing of their grandparents, then their parents.  It will eventually become our turn.  This is always a challenge.  The child is destined to become the parent, then the grandparent, and then a memory.  It is the wisdom of God that has determined to use this imperfect time in order to bring us to the perfect that He has for us.  He is using the imperfect to perfect us for perfection.

The recognition of this requires us to step into the moment of each stage.  We put behind us childish things and take hold of the adult things.  We can fully engage, not because we are perfect, but because we can trust that God has provided for us all that we need.  It is not all up to you.  God is with you every step of the way.  Learn to rest in Him, but also trust in Him as you embrace each stage.

The need for spiritual maturity

This brings us to spiritual maturity.  There are many people who have matured and learned to interact socially with a minimum of adverse effects on others.  This is good, but we need more than socially adjusted people.

In verse 12, Paul compares this life to the life that will be when the righteous are resurrected and Christ returns.  This life is partial, imperfect.  The life to come will be perfect or complete.  In this life, we see God and life itself as if through a dim mirror.  But, in that day, we will see God face to face.

It is important for every adult to recognize that they are called to be a spiritual child in the care of a Heavenly Father.  All of this is headed somewhere greater than what we see today.  No child can fully comprehend the life of an adult.  So, it is for us thinking about the next stages with Christ.  God has a perfect plan to use these imperfections to bring us to a perfect place by His help.

This brings us full circle.  You were made to be like Him, to image Him.  There are some ways that a child becomes like their parents without any thought.  They begin to look more like them and take on their mannerisms, ways of thinking, etc.  However, other things require work.

Being made in the image of God means that we are designed to reflect God to the world, to the universe, around us.  Yet, sin has impacted our ability to do this.  Through Jesus, God has made it possible for us to become like Him, little by little, until we are completed in the resurrection.  We live this life with imperfection being perfected by God’s help, but we will not be perfected until that day Paul is talking about.

This is where we come to realize that this life is a childhood to the adult life in Christ to come.  We won’t be doing church like we do today in the Millennial kingdom, but we will walk in love, faith and hope.  In that age, we will put off the childish things of this age.  They are entirely good for now, but fully inadequate for the age to come.  Christ will lead us in taking on the adult things.

If we only look at this world, then it is easy to lose hope and to lose faith.  Just as you can trust God’s design in you as an individual, we can also trust God’s design behind history.  He knows what He is doing.  Humanity will step into adulthood through the grace of Jesus Christ.

Paul ends with the point that some things do not change from childhood to adulthood.  Faith, Hope, and Love are the foundational aspects of every phase in which God has been dealing with humanity.  We must never let the things we do that are only temporary overwhelm the more important permanent things.  Live life out of a mutual relationship of love, faith, and hope between you and God, as well as you and other people!

Woman of God audio

The Acts of the Apostles 78

Subtitle: Farewell to the Ephesian Elders II

Acts 20:25-38.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on September 1, 2024.

We are picking up in the middle of Paul’s farewell to the elders of the Ephesian church while he is in Miletus.  These are clearly Paul’s last words to them.  He does not expect to come back.

In the previous verses, Paul has reminded them of the example of his life while he was among them.  He then spoke about his present example of steadfastly and boldly going towards persecution in Jerusalem.

At verse 25, Paul begins to speak to the future ahead of them in which he will no longer be with them or able to visit.  He isn’t dying, but the message that he is giving does have that feel to it.  In short, the Apostle Paul does not want to leave any important thing unsaid.  He does not expect to have another chance.

Let’s look at our passage.

Paul exhorts them about the future (v. 25-31)

Paul explains that he knows they will not see him again.  He then speaks about the nature of his leaving.  He has been faithful to preach the Kingdom of God to them.  This Kingdom has both present and future aspects to it.

Yes, Christians are a family, and salvation is being brought into God’s family through Jesus.  However, the Kingdom references have deep roots into the Old Testament with the promised Anointed Son of David who would rule over God’s Kingdom.  Of course, Jesus is no normal king.  He is seated at the right hand of God the Father, having all authority and power over the heavens and the earth.  Paul had preached to them the open door for all to become citizens of this Kingdom of Messiah Jesus.  Those who enter the Kingdom of God receive the life of Christ flowing into and through them by the Holy Spirit.  Christians are to be a kind of preview of the future Kingdom Age when Jesus will return physically and rule from this earth.

Paul also speaks of being innocent of the blood of all men.  Essentially, he is saying that it will not be his fault if any of them fail to survive the judgment of Jesus at the end of their lives.  He had declared to them the whole counsel of God.  They were not missing any critical information for which they had to wait.  They had everything needed for living their lives in godliness, in short, how to please God.

They had heard the truth, and to hear the truth is to be responsible for it before God.  He was leaving and their eternity would be between them and God.

Of course, it had always been between them and God.  No one can repent for you and have faith in Jesus for you.  However, the Lord Jesus had sent Paul into the lives of these Ephesians (just as He sends you to others) to share the good news of salvation in him.  Thus, God can use Paul today to assist them, and then use others tomorrow.  Ultimately, our spiritual walk is dependent upon our relationship with Jesus. They will not be able to point to Paul and say that he had failed to warn them.

In verse 28, Paul exhorts them to pay attention to themselves and the flock of God that they were in.  Since Paul will no longer see them, the whole burden that Paul had helped them with was now coming upon them.  They would first need to pay close attention to their own lives so that they could then pay close attention to the flock of God in which they had been placed.  They would work together to care for the Ephesian believers.  Notice that this follows the pattern that Jesus gave in the Sermon on the Mount in Matthew 7.  Before we make judgments in the lives of others, we must first exercise judgment in our own life.  Of course, we do not judge with our own thoughts, but by the truth of the Word and by the Spirit of God.  Those who live a life of watching over their own souls will be able to be a help to others in the same endeavor.

We should also see that Paul emphasizes how they had come to this authority of elder and watching over the flock.  It was the Holy Spirit that had made them “overseers,” which comes from the Greek word “episkopos.”  This is where we get the word Episcopal.  It is also the root for the English word “bishop.”  Episkopos was borrowed into Latin as episcopus.   Latin was spoken by Christians for over a thousand years before English became a thing.  It was common for the sound of /p/ to devolve into a /b/.  Thus, the sound would be more like ebiscopus.  English doesn’t use endings and the initial “e” was dropped creating the English word biscop, and then bishop. 

Episcopalians is a term used for a church that highlights the rule of bishops over the Church with one bishop over each church- as opposed to congregational, which believe that the people of the church are to rule themselves.  Another word used in this issue is the term presbyterian.  A presbyter is an elder.  This emphasizes the rule of elders over a church.

Regardless of all these different views on Church polity, the terms overseer (bishop) and shepherd (pastor) are not about a title.  Jesus didn’t die so that men could have titles of authority over one another.  These are functions that are intended to assist, to help, the body of Christ.  Their essential purpose is not about elevating one person over another, but about letting the Holy Spirit use us to come alongside of others in their relationship with the Lord Jesus.  We must not lose sight of this purpose.

An overseer is just another way of speaking about a shepherd, or pastor.  The Greek word has at its root the concept of one who feeds.  The pastor term essentially emphasizes assisting in the care of all that a sheep (believer) needs.  Of course, pastors must also recognize that they too are a sheep doing a work for the Good Shepherd, who is the true head of the Church.  The feeding here is spiritual nutrition, which we obtain from the Word of God.  Shepherds are to give the church words of care rather than control.  Wise sheep will learn to hear the voice of Christ through the care of godly overseers and shepherd.

I like to used Psalm 23 to see all the things that a sheep needs, and consequently, all the things that pastors are to focus their ministry upon.  Sheep need “green pastures,” which is the spiritual food of God’s Word.  Sheep also need “peaceful waters,” which is both the Word of God and the ministry of the Holy Spirit.  They also need protection in “the valley of the shadow of death.”  Pastors are only one of the ways that the rod and staff of Christ is used to comfort His people.  Lastly, we can see that the psalmist’s head is anointed with oil.  This can be about the blessing of the Holy Spirit, but with sheep, anointing had more to do with medical care, whether preventative or for healing after an injury.  Believers need help in healing from the wounds of life, and preventatively avoiding some wounds of life.

In verse 29, Paul points to two particular threats that these overseers and pastors should deal with.  The first has to do with “savage wolves” that will com from outside the church.  They are not Christians, though they may pretend such.  Even the metaphorical use of wolf harkens back to the beast kingdoms of Daniel, of which Rome represented one.  These wolves are merely little beastly chips off of the beast block.  These wolves only come for one thing.  They see the sheep as a meal.  Of course, this is not literal, but metaphorical.  They consume people spiritually for financial gain and for their own pride.  Their actions are as destructive as a wolf among sheep.  They destroy the believers by destroying their faith in Christ and robbing them of their eternal inheritance.

The second threat comes from perverse men that will rise up from within the church.  These are believers who have become twisted in their doctrine and thereby also in their actions.  They are on a journey of becoming less and less like the Lord Jesus, whom they claim to serve.  Now, all of us fall short of Jesus.  So, we should be careful in nitpicking each other’s lives in order to label them as perverse men.  Yet, people can become dangerously off course, whether through pride, or through wounds.

What do these perverse men see in the sheep?  We are told that they desire to draw the disciples away to themselves.  They are fixated on “their” ministry, their kingdom, and their glory.  They are too infatuated with being a leader of men rather than being a follower of Jesus.

We are to guard against and recognize the wolves who come in, and we are to guard against the twisting of doctrine and the twisting of living out godliness.  This is actually the duty of all Christians who claim to love the Lord who bought them with His blood.  However, those in leadership bear a greater responsibility, a more severe judgment if they fail to pay attention.  Paul mentions that this was so important to him that he had warned them night and day with tears when he was with them. 

You may not be an official overseer in your church, but when you spend time in the Word of God, and spend time talking with God in prayer, then the Holy Spirit will cause you to see any dangers that come into your life, and into your local church.

Notice that these break down into external and internal threats.  This isn’t just true of the church as a group.  It is also true of us as an individual.  What am I watching out for as I pay close attention to my own life?  I am looking for those ways that the devil brings from the outside into my heart, i.e., temptations from situations and people, but I am also looking for those internal threats that come from my own heart and mind.  Arrogance, pride, lusts, and desires, if not pruned, will grow a thicket of weeds within even the best of overseers, thus destroying their souls.  Be watchful over your life and take possession of your soul by faith in Christ.

Paul entrusts them to God (v. 32-38)

Verse 32 begins with the conclusion to this farewell.  He was a spiritual father to this church and these men.  He had founded it, and he was a vital part of its spiritual success.  However, all spiritual parents, just as natural parents, will hit points along the road when we must entrust our kids to their Heavenly Father.  Of course, they are always in His care, but this is about ways in which we are bowing out of their life.

This happens when they reach maturity and move out into life on their own.  You may still have influence through letters, emails, phone calls, etc.  But, they are no longer in your house as little kids.  The relationship changes.  This is also true as one approaches death.  A parent knows that they will no longer be able to do anything after death.  This one that I have cared for throughout all of their (spiritual) life is now cast upon the Lord.   At particular stages of their life, God used you for their good and in different ways.  Now you are bowing out of that role.   Of course, God can use others, but there is also the fact that children grow up to become parents themselves.  Spiritual maturity comes through the tough decisions where we step up in Christ in ways that others stepped up for us.

In verse 32, Paul also points out that God and His Word can build them up.  God through His Holy Spirit, with His Holy Word, and in the community of holy believers builds us up.  This is the same language of Ephesians 4:13, where we are being built up in order to be more like Christ.  This is both individually and corporately.  A spiritual building must have a good spiritual foundation, and that foundation is Jesus.  God has started this building when we put our faith in Jesus, and He will finish this building when we are resurrected and stand in His presence.

Part of our discipleship is learning to cooperate with this work of God among those who have been sanctified, i.e., set apart for God’s holy purpose, of being conformed into the image of Jesus.

Paul refers to an inheritance that is ours in Christ.  This inheritance is definitely an eternal inheritance as an adult son of God.  In this sense, we inherit all things with Christ! 

Yet, this inheritance does have some downpayments within this life.  We inherit a place among God’s people, shining the light of Jesus to the world around us.  We inherit the glory of being a witness of Jesus to a lost and dying world.  We inherit the joy of being used of God to bring some to salvation, and to be persecuted as he was by others.  We are entering into our eternal inheritance even now in our mortal flesh.

Through a series of statements, Paul emphasizes that they follow his example of using strength to care for the weak.  The weak in this context is the Ephesians themselves.  When Paul was among them, he did not have them financially care for him.  Instead, he worked in his tent-making trade in order to supply his needs and the needs of the men with him.  He also did this with the Corinthian church.  In fact, he pointed out to them that other churches sent him money while he was in Corinth so that he could continue to minister to them.

Instead of despising those who are financially weak, or spiritually weak, etc., Paul used his strengths to cover for their weakness, and to help them to become stronger.  He even taught them to care for the Judean church when they were hurting from famine.  Here is the thing.  If we do not use our strengths to help the weak, then we will begin to become weak ourselves.  We will begin to become twisted and not like our Lord.  Jesus laid his life down for us while we were yet sinners (very weak).

Paul wasn’t trying to make money (silver or gold) from them, nor was he looking to have nice clothes.  He was not ministering for material gain.  Instead, he modeled the words of the Lord Jesus.  “It is more blessed to give than to receive.”

In many places, Jesus challenged his followers to be givers.  The sermon on the mount speaks to this and the blessing that comes from it.  However, these words are not recorded in the Gospels in this form.  Is this a mistaken quote by Paul?

I believe that this falls into the category that the Apostle John identified in John 21:25.  Jesus said many things and they were not all recorded in the Gospels.  Also, Paul had several visions where the Lord Jesus spoke directly to him.  These are the words of Christ, even if you cannot find them in the Gospels.

There are a lot of people ministering today under the banner of Jesus Christ who pride themselves in their clothing, in the expensive vehicles they drive, as if these are proof that they are a great apostle.  Jesus’ proof of His Apostleship was dying on the cross for us.  The Apostle Paul followed in the footsteps of his Lord.  He wasn’t looking to get anything in the flesh.  He was among them to give.  This is the true mark of an apostle.

Finished with his message, Paul prays with the elders.  He is doing more than setting an example here.  He knows that they will need God’s help to succeed in all that he has put in front of them.  He wants them to overcome, and thus, he prays for them God’s help.  God is ultimately our source and the only way that we will overcome this world by faith.

We then have a great show of emotion in tears and kissing.  This is not a lack of faith, but a recognition of the will of God.  Sometimes God’s will takes away from us.  We are never happy about the leaving of a loved one, nor their death.  Even if they are in a better place, such as heaven, we miss having their fellowship and strength in our lives.  It is only right to grieve the passing of a godly person.

However, this is a godly sorrow and godly tears.  It is full of thanksgiving and gratitude to God for His many gifts into our lives.  In fact, Jesus himself was full acquainted with tears and sorrow.  He wept over Jerusalem and its coming betrayal of him.  Serving Jesus will have times of laughter and times of tears.  In all of it, we have the assurance that God the Father is working all things to the good. 

The scene ends with them seeing Paul and company off at the ship, which is a metaphor for many things in life.  Yet, the God of all comfort stays with them, even as He goes with Paul.  Let us hold fast to this wonderful truth!

Farewell II audio