Motherhood in Perspective

Today is Mother’s Day and as such we are going to talk about how important it is for mother’s to keep things in proper perspective.  By way of illustration I am going to read a short letter from a college student to her parents, which has no known origin.  By the way, this letter is not purported to be an actual letter, but was more than likely created to emphasize how perspective affects our outlook.  Here is the letter:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Just thought I’d drop you a note to clue you in on my plans.  I’ve fallen in love with a guy called Jim.  He quit high school after grade eleven to get married.  About a year ago he got a divorce.  We’ve been going steady for two months and plan to get married in the fall.  Until then, I’ve decided to move into his apartment (I think I might be pregnant).  At any rate, I dropped out of school last week, although I’d like to finish college sometime in the future.  (Letter continued on the next page)…

Mom and Dad, I just want you to know that everything I’ve written so far in this letter is false.  None of it is true.  But, Mom and Dad, it IS true that I got a C- in French and flunked my math class…and it IS true that I’m going to need some more money for my tuition payments.

Being a mom is a difficult task that presents a unique set of challenges.  Yet, it is easy to lose perspective about it.  What is it I am really supposed to do?  What is success and what is failure?  Today we are going to look at three phases of life for moms: before being a mother, during the child rearing years, and after the kids leave the house.

Is Motherhood To Be Desired?

Over the last century being a mother has come to be a despised thing in some circles.  Whether it is Margaret Sanger calling for a 10 year moratorium on child births in the 1940’s or modern arguments that refer to motherhood as an enemy to women, a mom and dad raising a kid have much to overcome.  So, for a young woman, a very serious question to wrestle with is this: Is motherhood to be desired?  Is it some ancient form of slavery and restriction of women?  Does it necessarily ruin your professional and marital life?

Now before we deal with this question, I want to recognize that there are many women who, for one reason or another, have not or cannot have children.  I do not intend to diminish the difficulties of desiring to give birth to a child and being told you can’t.  Let me just say to those who are in that situation, trust God and talk with Him about your desires.  He may have something different for you that can be just as rewarding, whether becoming a foster parent, simply blessing kids around you, or mothering children spiritually.  So don’t make the act of birthing a baby of your own, the end all, of life and purpose.

Let’s go back to the question of the desirability of being a mother.  In Genesis 1:27-28, we see that motherhood is part of God’s design for women.  A man and woman coming together in a committed relationship to create the next generation is part of God’s design of humanity.  Whatever motherhood is, women were designed for it and it is not just a good thing, it is a God thing.

We also see in this Genesis passage that God refers to this process with the metaphor of being fruitful.  This is a powerful picture because no one would say that a tree without fruit is useless, and yet a tree that has fruit is something quite different altogether.  Throughout the Bible fruitfulness is more than physically giving birth to a child.  It is at its core a giving of life.  Yes, a child is birthed.  But it must be cared for and nurtured for it to be able to come to a point where it can live on its own.  Thus a woman’s fruitfulness is more than giving birth.  It is her ability to come alongside of another and give life to them.  This can be done regardless of one’s ability to conceive.  In fact the case can be made that the physical fruitfulness becomes a curse if the higher fruitfulness of physical and spiritual nurturing is neglected.  Rotten teens are not an argument against raising children.  They are an argument against the lack of a higher order of birthing that must happen.  The conception to birth process can be seen as an analogy of the higher order process that brings a child from birth into adult society.

In Psalm 127:3-4 we are told that children are an inheritance from the Lord.  In other words it is a portion that he has for many women that they can enjoy and tend to it.  It is not the only possible inheritance for women in life (If you are unable to have children recognize that God has an inheritance for you).  But neither should it be slighted as undesirable.

Motherhood is something that is good and desirable.  Take time to walk with God and He will make it clear if you are to be a mother or not.  Don’t lose perspective of the fact that you will come to the end of your life and there will be no going back.  Yes, we all have regrets, but don’t wall yourself off from motherhood without first spending the time in prayer to seek God’s will.

Am I A Failure As A Mother?

Once a woman has had a child, or more, it is very common to be plagued with doubts as to your success at it.  In fact they are very rarely doubts.  Generally you may feel quite sure that you have failed at it.  In Psalm 119:105, we are told that the Word of God is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.  Thus, if you feel that you are a failure and don’t know what to do, turn to God for wisdom.  Let His Word shed light on what you should do. 

James picks up on this in James 1:5.  However, he not only counsels us to let God’s Word be a light to our path, but also counsels us to pray and ask for it.  Reading God’s Word is the content side, but we also have a spiritual and emotional side.  Spend time in prayer asking for wisdom to raise your child.  On top of this we can take our anxieties and worries, and put them in God’s hands because we know that He cares for us both emotionally and practically.

Now here are some rapid-fire encouragements that all of us know, but need to hear often.  Be realistic in how you judge yourself.  We can expect far too much of ourselves and our children.  In fact, a unrealistic expectation can make our “failures” even worse, by an unhealthy emphasis on perfection.  Relax and realize that you are not God.  There is only so much that you can do.  God does not expect you to be super-mom.  But you can be a supernatural mom by relying on God for His help.

Also, learn to prioritize.  Priorities help you to decide between what is going to get done and what isn’t.  Being a parent is one of those jobs that is never done and you’re always on the clock.  Many things that we see as failures are simply our limitations as a human.  You can’t do everything and God doesn’t expect it from you.  Prayerfully set priorities that make the really important things primary and the not so important things tertiary at best.

Another important thing is to find some friends that can understand what it means to be a mother.  The power of being able to talk with someone who understands us cannot be underestimated.  Don’t wall yourself off from others because you are such a “miserable failure.”  Isolation can make a person feel lonely even when they are surrounded by family.  So purposefully counteract it by seeking out friends who are raising kids themselves.  Alongside this, you can pray for God to lead you to a good mentor who is further along in life, a seasoned mom who can help you gain perspective.  In the now it feels like it is never going to end.  But a mom who has raised her kid can help keep you encouraged.  Normally this would be your mom and/or grandma.  But if this isn’t an option for you, don’t sit there.  Proactively seek out a mentor.

Lastly, moms, trust God.  Ultimately this is what we all have to do.  Many kids have come from horrible homes and grown up to become amazing servants of God and society.  So clearly you don’t have to be perfect for them to become all God wants them to be.  However, this is not an advocacy for not even caring.  You will have to give account to God for how you raised your kids, but not in the perfectionist way that you often do to yourself.  Your kid is going to grow up and make their own decisions.  You will be a powerful influence on them, but yet only an influence.  It doesn’t take perfection to do a good job; it just takes a love that is willing to be perfected.  “Lord, teach me to love my kids as You would have me!”

What now?

It is called the empty nest syndrome.  Some people look forward to the empty nest with far too much glee and, yet, others dread it with far too much gloom and depression.  A hyper-desire for what is down the road can adversely affect our actions in the now.  No, you don’t have to be perfect, but you do need to be engaged in the here and now.  Emotional abandonment can be a very heavy thing to place upon the shoulders of a child.  On the other hand, those who are depressed over the emptying of their nest can develop an unhealthy selfishness and lack of faith that God has other good things ahead for you.  If God gave you kids to enjoy then He will be faithful to give you things to enjoy at the next stage.  Yes, all you have known for the last 20-30 years is suddenly gone and you face an unknown future.  But you have been there before.  The same God who has led you to this point has a plan forward.  Take His hand and rejoice!

We see such attitude in Hebrews 11:24-27.  Moses is given a task by God.  He knew what was being asked on the macro-level.  But there was much ahead that required trusting God.  Surrender to the next stage and let God lead you forward just as God led Moses.  There is a reward ahead.  This highly transitional time can go in many different directions and will definitely go through several transitions.  Some of them will be your choices, and yet, some of them may not.  Many a couple has emptied the nest only to immediately be presented with failing parents who need their care.  Or perhaps you have an adult child who has special needs and will never be able to live on their own.  Many things can lie ahead: grandkids, travel, new professions, hobbies, and expanded horizons.  No one thing is necessary for you to have a full and rewarding life.  The only thing you really need is to trust God as He leads you into the next phase of your life.

Let me close with a passage in Titus 2:1-4.  Here Paul encourages the older women to help the younger women to see the importance of loving their husbands and children.  Though he doesn’t use this word, I would see this as mentoring.  You have alot of experience that you can share with younger women.  It should not come across as a “know-it-all” attitude.  In fact mentoring is not so much about showing a young mother what she is doing wrong (this can short-cut her own learning and developing process).  At its heart is one woman telling another woman that, if she will lean on Jesus, she will be woman enough to meet the daunting things in her life.  Encourage them and keep them trusting in Jesus and His wisdom.  And, a practical tip from time to time won’t hurt at all ;)

Motherhood in Perspective audio

What Do You Really Love?

We apologize, but there is no audio for this sermon.

Luke 16:14-18

We are going to have another look at the Pharisees today.  But the hanging question within the passage today is, "What are you serving?"  Are you serving God's interests or your own interests.  Jesus says that you can only love one of them and that by the fact of that choice you will hate the other.  Now that really is a heavy thought.  And, yet we see Jesus speaking so as to push us off the fence.  We must choose one way or another whether we will love God or the desires of our flesh.

Obstacles To Loving Jesus And His Words

In verses 14 and 15 there began to be some open hostility and scoffing from the religious leaders towards the teaching of Jesus on wealth and possessions.  Jesus taught for us to use our wealth to bless others and bring people into the kingdom of God.  Now to be a disciple of Jesus is to say that you are going to follow him and his way of living.  Yet, his teachings are filled with obstacles to the way we tend to think.  At every step we are tripped up and made to choose once again whether to follow Jesus or choose our own fleshly desires.

So the obstacle for these religious leaders was money.  They loved money and the power it gave more than they loved Truth.  But enough about them.  What about me?  Do I love money and its power more than I love the Truth that Jesus is speaking in this passage and others?  In verse 13 Jesus warned that you can't serve money and God.  Instead we can use money and wealth in order to serve God's purposes and please Him.  If push comes to shove we would have to crucify its hold on our life by selling it all and giving it to the poor in order to follow Him.  The looming shadow of a day of accounting in which the true nature of our heart will be laid bare should be enough to cause even the religiously calloused person to have a moment's hesitation.  Yet, the Pharisees completely rejected these teachings and derided him.  Literally they turned up their nose at him and scoffed at what he was saying.  Regardless of how they justified their twisted views on money and wealth they pursued riches rather than pursuing the truth of God.  They were content to prop up a false God in order to continue their pursuit of their true God: money.  We should stop and ask the question if anything is ruling us.  Money is the issue in this passage, but it could be anything.  Maybe your need for acceptance by others is ruling you.  Maybe your need to be in control is ruling you.  If it is anything but a love for God then you will come to hate Jesus and his way.  Sometimes people tell themselves that they are pursuing money so that they can do more work for God.  Be careful.  Wealth is a viper whose venom gets in the blood stream and affects our thinking.  Yes, you can use wealth to do things for God.  But you can also use God in order to justify your pursuit of wealth.  Which is your true target?  This is an obstacle that has taken out many a person.

The next obstacle we see here is that of self-justification.  Jesus says that the Pharisees were those who justified themselves before men.  There are two problems here.  First is that we are the one doing the justifying.  I can always make a good case for myself.  But not all cases win in court.  Thus the second problem is that we try to put people on the judgment seat because they are easier to fool.  If I can get you to accept my case or justification then I can smuggly pat myself on the back.  Yet, the day a person challenges our justification we will kick them out of the judgment seat and get someone else to take their place.  In other words, we are playing a game.  They aren't really the one on the judgment seat; we are.  The truth is that God is the real judge and self-justification of any form will not stand before Him.  He knows the secret motivations of our heart and no matter how sophisticated our arguments they will each be stripped bare before him until we alone are left guilty.  Jesus warns that God detests what man esteems.  It is an abomination to Him.  It is also true that men tend to detest what God esteems.  We tend to run from what He honors and towards what He detests.  Are you willing to bet your eternal future on the case that you have made for yourself and has been accepted only by your friends?

A New Day Has Arrived

Jesus switches gears in verses 16-18.  He begins to point out that this is a new day and the religious leaders and anyone like them will not be able to continue doing "business as usual."  When God restored Israel back to His land from Babylon, He spoke to them and enabled them to rebuild the city of Jerusalem and the temple of the Lord.  But within 100 years they had walked away from the Truth and embraced their own idea of righteousness.  Thus God became silent.  The next 400 years became known as the years of silence.  Now please notice that if God is being silent in our life it is because He has already told us what we need to know.  In fact, it might be a red flag that I am not listening to what He has already said.  Many people will ignore God's Word of yesterday in order to get a "fresh" word from God today.  Beware that you don't walk in rebellion.  However, when John the Baptist came out of the wilderness a new day had begun.  God was not just talking again, but He would soon send His greatest prophet yet, His very own Son would shine a brilliant light upon Israel and the whole world.  Life would never be the same in Israel.

One of the things the Light does is it exposes the barriers that have kept people out of the Kingdom of God.  The pronouncements and actions of the religious leaders had become obstacles to people putting their faith in God.  The obstacle either caused people to quit trying and walk away or it caused people to join ranks among them and become a part of the obstacle itself.  They refused to listen to the Truth of God's Word and thereby enter the Kingdom of God.  Rather they set themselves up in the door to the Kingdom like a rabid dog and refused to let anyone go by them.  The valiant stand and rebukes that Jesus made exposed this age-old problem.

Thus Jesus says that in this new day people were pressing into the Kingdom of God.  Matthew 11:12, says it this way, "And from the days of John the baptist until now the kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force."  Don't misread the words "violent" and "violence" here.  Jesus is using these terms to describe how the people who were hearing him were overcoming the opposition of the religious leaders.  They were climbing over the barriers and entering into the Kingdom of God.  Like shopping at Wal-mart on Christmas day it was a frenzied environment both in the natural and in the spiritual.  Those who had been told they had no chance and should go away, now were pressing over such lies and grasping the hem of the garment of Jesus in order to find the touch of God.  Jesus is the way and the door into the Kingdom of God.  No one enters but through Him.  Today the same religious arguments are raised and even new ones.  Often in the name of Jesus obstacles are thrown up by people who refuse to hear the truth of God's Word.  But the blazing light of the teaching of His Son strips these arguments bare and reveals them for what they are.  Still today the "unlearned" often enter ahead of the learned.

In verses 17-18 Jesus points the Pharisees back to the Law that they pretended to obey. He says that none of it will fall or fail.  It is going to be upheld against those who persist in self-righteousness, like they were doing.  But to those who recognize their sin, yield to God, and follow Jesus a new law is given.  It is the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus.  Thus ask yourself the question.  Will I be judged by the law of Moses or by the Law of the Spirit?  In Romans 8:1-2, Paul places two concepts against each other.  On one side is walking according to the flesh and being under the Law of sin and death.  On the other side is walking according to the Spirit and being under Freedom (the law of the Spirit).  James picks up on this very same thing in his letter (2:12-13).  He warns his hearers that if they cling to self-righteousness over the top of sin they will be judged by the law of sin and death.  Yet, if we hear the Spirit point out our sin and repent of it, we will be judged by the law of liberty.  The follower of Jesus is to speak and live as one who will be received into heaven because of great mercy, not by his own righteousness.  Your righteousness or Christ's righteousness, we must all chose.  You can't hold on to both.  Let us choose Jesus!

A Wise Or Foolish Manger?

Luke 16:1-13

Whether you own your own business or you work for someone else, we are all accountable to someone in some way.  The boss can fire me if I don’t do a good job.  My business can go bankrupt if I don’t do a good job.  The government may send me to jail if I try to avoid paying my taxes, etc…  The parable that we are looking at today is about an unjust steward.  Another way of saying that would be an unrighteous manager.  Normally Jesus tells a parable of something good that we are supposed to be like, or something bad that we are not supposed to be like.  Today’s parable causes many to scratch their head because it uses a bad thing to illustrate something good we are to do (or at least it seems that way).

The Day Of Accounting Is Looming

In this parable, the manager is given notice to gather his books and prepare to give an accounting to the master.  Thus this sets up a strange period of time in which a person is still the acting manager, but his time is limited because he is losing his position.  The picture here is meant to highlight our position within God’s world.  He is the Creator and we are the managers of His things within the life that He has given us.  All things that we own are not our possessions outright.   Rush Limbaugh, a syndicated, conservative, talk-radio host refers to having “talent on loan from God.”  Although this comes across rather arrogant, the truth is that all of us have talent on loan from God.  Nothing we have was made purely by ourselves, our bodies included.  We use God’s stuff to make more stuff for ourselves.  In this sense we are managing His stuff.

The next part of the parable is that an accusation has been made against the manager.  The term accusation here is from the same root word as the devil or diabolical.  It means to cast at another and implies an accusation.  Now the accusation can be a false one out of ignorance, or true one out of a desire to ruin or destroy.  So we see this same pattern in the book of Job.  The devil casts his accusations against us.  However, in the story of Abel we can see that our own sins can cry out to God with accusations against us.  Yet, at an even deeper level, Paul talks about how our own conscience can accuse us in the secret place of our mind.  Thus we are in the same place as the man in this story.  An accusation from several sources has come to God and He has established a day of accounting for us.  We will lose this life and give an accounting for how we lived it because of our sin.  This is dealt with in Genesis 3 in the Garden of Eden.  God laid the decree that all men will die and surrender the life that they have been given.  In Hebrews 9:27 it says, “it is appointed for men to die once, but after this the judgment.”  We are all in the situation that we have not been perfectly righteous in how we have managed the things that God has given us.  The key here is what are you going to do when you come to understand your situation?

We Need To Respond Wisely

In verses 3 through 8 we see the response of this unrighteous manager.  Now responding wisely to a bad situation is easier said than done.  We don’t always have a good example or good training to follow in those moments.    Now Jesus makes a strange statement, “the sons of this world are more shrewd in their generation than the sons of light.”  When we think this through we will see the wisdom of what Jesus says.  Now the sons of this world are those who are not followers of God.  Within the context of their generation, they are much smarter than the followers of God (this is a general statement that allows exceptions).  The sons of this world don’t believe in a God or any accountability to Him.  They only believe in what they are smart enough to get for themselves on their own.  Because they believe this, they operate very shrewdly and cunningly within this world.   They are not wise in regard to their lack of understanding towards God.  But they are wise in that they act upon what they believe.  Now the sons of God say they believe in a God to whom they will be accountable and yet their actions and decision do not look as if they really believe that.  Jesus does not commend the man for being an unrighteous manager, but for recognizing the truth of his situation and working with what he had to improve it.  Many believers are wise enough to recognize the truth of God’s existence, but not wise enough to use their life now to prepare for the day of accounting.  This is not wise.

We need to think through our situation in light of the future.  Biblical thinking is a skill that we all need to work on.  We are all in the same situation as the man in this story.  Yes, I am a believer, and I have asked Jesus to cover my sins.  But, I am still going to have to give an account for what I did with God’s things in the life He has given me.  Also, we only have so much time to affect our situation.  We don’t have a specific deadline, and yet we know we don’t have forever.  Each day is a day that I can wake up and thank God for another opportunity to affect my future.

The second aspect to responding wisely is to make a plan to use what we have now in order to affect our future situation.  The man in this story takes advantage of the fact that he is still the manager.  He can use the authority that he still has to help those who buy from his master.  He plans to produce goodwill in their hearts towards him in hopes that they will help him later.  Now how can we use the things of our life within the time that we have left in order to please God?  This is the real question that Jesus expects us to think about.  What is your plan?  If it is to enjoy all the gifts God has given you for yourself, then you are in for a rude awakening when you stand before Him.

The third aspect to acting wisely is to diligently execute that plan throughout the time that you have left.  A plan is no good if we don’t start doing it and if we aren’t faithful to complete it.  It has been said that genius is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.  We could say that in this case diligence is 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration.  You have to start doing it and continue doing it.  Believers should pray, read the Word, and interact with one another with loving diligence because we know that these things are very real.  So Analyze your situation, Make a plan, and then do it.

The Instructions Of Our Lord

In verse 9-13 Jesus gives us some action items to work on.  So let’s look at them.  He first tells us to use our earthly possession to build eternal relationships.  Vs. 9 says, “make friends for yourselves.”  He is not just talking about friends for this life, but friends who will continue to be so in the life to come.  Eternal friends are those who are not just connected to our life, but also connected to our God.  Jesus says that if we were wise then we would use our earthly possessions to help others both in natural things and in spiritual things. 

Now we need to deal with the phrase “unrighteous mammon.”  Mammon is a term that means wealth and involves both possessions and money.  It is called unrighteous not because it is ill-gotten, but because of how it influences our heart and life.  Power has a corrupting influence on sinful hearts and don’t doubt that money and possessions are power.  In light of this directive of Jesus, we might ask the question, “How many people will rejoice when I enter heaven?”  We cannot fathom the age to come and how our relationships now might be important now.  However, I think the point of Jesus is not quite as pointed as that.  He is more focused on us acting wisely now and using the wealth we have to make eternal friends.

The second instruction our Lord gives us is to be faithful in the lesser things of this world.  In verse 10 Jesus calls the riches of this world, “the lesser things.”  People like Bill Gates or Warren Buffet may have great power because of the amount of money and wealth they have.  But no matter how much you have, it is still the lesser riches.  The true riches are those things that we receive from God that can never be taken away and destroyed.  The wealth of this world can be lost in a moment as the political and social tides storm their way over us.  But the brotherhood of believers is never lost even in the face of death.  Ours is a bond that cannot be taken by tyrants, criminals, nor devils.  The true riches starts with God’s love that we can share with Him and with one another.  Add to that the assurance we have of our salvation and future with God and His people.  On top of that we are promised a new glorified body that cannot be destroyed.  Such things cannot be taken away from us by this world.  Finally, in verse 12, Jesus promises that if we are faithful in the lesser things then we will be able to have “that which is our own.”  Simply put, Jesus looks ahead to the age to come and reveals that in that day God will give us things with which we can do anything we want.  But today we are in a relationship of managers and stewards.

The third instruction Jesus gives is to make sure your loyalties are with God and not your possessions.  Though we can think of selfish people as being their own master, in actuality they become a slave to their own flesh and its desires.  The truth is that those with great amounts of earthly possessions are often possessed by those very things.  When a person makes $12,000 a year they think to themselves, “If I only had $24,000.”  But when they make $24,000 they think, “If I only had $48,000.”  And the curse goes on.  It is never enough and we become more and more ruled by the fear of losing it.  This life is the proving ground of where our loyalties lie.  As much as God loves us, He will not bless rebels and fools at the Day of Judgment.  So how can I know if I am a slave to my possessions?  When I am always waiting until I have more to get serious about serving God with it, then I am a slave to it.  The widow put in her last coin because she was wise, not because she had money to spare.  She was not a slave to her money.  She mastered it because she was serving God with all her heart.  How am I using my money and possessions today to demonstrate that I serve God?  Don’t go away sad today.  Instead rejoice because you have received a great light that can deliver your soul from the corruption of the possessions of this world.

Wise or Foolish audio

A Heart For That Which Is Lost-Part II

Luke 15:11-32

Last week we saw two quick parables about God’s heart for those who are lost from Him.  The images then were a lost sheep and a lost coin.  Today our image is going to be a son who is often called the prodigal son, which refers to the fact that he “wastes” his inheritance.  But in reality this parable should be called the parable of the lost son because the emphasis of all three of these parables is that something is lost and needs to be found. 

If you are skeptical of Christianity and the message of the Bible, I would ask you to at least hear out this one message.  In this story Jesus gives us a glimpse into God’s heart for all of mankind.

A Son Is Lost

In verses 11-16 we see the story of a young man who is tired of being in his father’s house.  It is a common story for a young man to chafe under the roof of his parents, and even m ore common is man’s chafing under the administration of God, our Father in heaven.  Throughout this story the actions are illustrating spiritual realities between God and man.

In the story the young man commits a series of very insulting actions toward his father.  First, he asks for his inheritance early.  This action would come across as wishing that your father were dead.  I would rather have the stuff my father is going to give me than to have him.  Now it is not uncommon for an inheritance to be divvied out early, but it would always be at the direction of the father.  Thus the second insult is regarding the father’s wisdom as to when the inheritance should be handed out.  So how is it that we take hold of our inheritance from God before the proper time in order to do with it as we wish?  When we ignore God’s instructions regarding what we have (our body, wealth, time, health, etc…) and then do with it whatever we wish, we are doing the same thing to God that this young man did to his father.

So the young man liquidates his inheritance and goes off to a far country.  This is the third insult.  The son separates himself as far as he can from his father and family.  All by itself it would not be an insult.  But in the context of the actions of the young man it becomes another expression of rejection.  There had already been a separation between the father and son emotionally, but now a large distance is put between them as a barrier to ever fixing this relational problem.  This is true of us with God as well.  We not only neglect relationship with God, but we often put up large barriers that keep God at a distance.  The places and people we hang out and the places we never go, often become shackles that keep us from ever connecting with God.

Although the son doesn’t realize it, the maturity of the Father’s life and decisions is part of what bothers him.  The son wants to live life more.  He doesn’t want to be restricted in his activities and unhampered by the boring things that his father has given him to do.  However, the very inheritance that he takes is the product of his father’s wisdom and maturity.  It is the blood, sweat, and tears of his father put in monetary form.  In the spiritual sense, the temptations of this life call us to cast off the boundaries that God has placed on us and to “enjoy life.”  We want to eat, drink, and be merry at the expense of the work that God has given us to do.  This is an immature mentality that does not produce good things.  Rather it squanders good things.  This lost son is known as the prodigal son because his immature decision making wastes every good thing that he ever had in his life starting with his father and family.  Those who take this path walk away from God and yet take all that he ever supplied for them.  Instead of walking in wisdom they squander all the good that God has given until it is both wasted and ruined.  You will eventually squander all that you have: money, body, mind; and you will be left with nothing to show for it in the end, nothing but spiritual emptiness that is. So the young man became penniless through living the fast and furious, high-life.

Of course this would be the exact wrong time for a severe famine to strike the area, but that is exactly what happens.  Although we often pray for God to help us escape difficult times and difficult things, they have often been the very grace of God to bring people to the point where they can see their need of Him.  As long as he had money and was spending it, the young man never lacked for people to party with him.  But now that he is broke and difficult, economic times have struck, he is alone and in great need.  The young man is so desperate that he takes a job that every Jew hearing this story would have cringed at: feeding pigs.  Spiritually, we can often let desperate times push us into worse and worse decisions, until we end up in a mess that is near impossible for us to fix.  It appears to me that Satan uses these things to herd lost people into prisons of their own making.  Even if they get to a point where they would want to return to their father, they have burnt so many bridges behind them that they won’t be able to make it back.

Perhaps the saddest line of this whole parable is this, “and no one gave him anything.”  Of course they didn’t owe him anything and times were difficult for everyone.  But when a person is in dire need and has nothing to eat, it is easy for those who have no connections to them to ignore it.  And, those who may have partied for you in the past tend to separate from you.   You might wonder why they do it, in that moment.  But it is the kind of decision that immaturity makes.  The destitute person has nothing to offer.  Only a mature and wise person will help such a one, and this young man had separated himself from such people.  It is here that the real truth hammers into the head of this lost son.  He had embraced the cold decision to separate from his father for the fires of passion in a far country.  But now that he has burned out in rapid form he is on the receiving end of others doing the same to him.  They too embrace the cold decision to leave him destitute for the sake of warming and feeding themselves.  Without God this world quickly becomes a cold hard place where people tend to connect with you only as long as they are getting something out of you.  Yet, in the end their care for you does not go beneath the surface.  Many have taken the path of the immediate decision for their own passions, only to find that no one cares for them in this place they have ended up.

A Son Repents

In verses 17-19 the story takes another turn.  The son repents of what he has done.  Now the word repent in this passage literally means to change your mind.  It is also associated with another word that means to regret something after the fact.  Thus repentance is not just an intellectual change of mind, but an emotional one as well.  Another concept that comes out is that of turning.  The young man has been going in a direction that is taking him farther, and farther away from his father.  But here we see him sorrowfully changing his mind.  Filled with remorse and regret he begins to turn away from those previous decisions and actions and begins to turn back towards his father.  He no longer sees hope further down the road of his way, but rather looks back to his father as the only hope for him now.  Have you reached that point regarding your Father in heaven?  This is true repentance on display for us to see.  When we truly repent we turn away from our decisions and actions in disgust and turn towards God in hope.

It is at this point that the young man comes to his senses, or as the passage says, “he came to himself.”  Until now he couldn’t see himself for what he really was.  He was blinded by his desire and his ignorance.  But now he sees his true condition.  But, the truth can set us free, if we will recognize it and embrace it.  It is not easy to embrace truth.  Much like embracing a cactus, it pierces our skin and causes pain.  Yet, unlike embracing a cactus, the truth can lead us in the direction of hope, wisdom, freedom and especially love.  The rebukes of life are those effects of our poor choices and the added problem of adverse circumstances that we didn’t cause.  This perfect storm mixes together and binds us to a miserable state.  But the question is, do we really see ourselves in that moment, or do we ignore it and press on the same old way?  Like a person banging their head against the wall, we can persist in the same direction in the face of evidence that it is destroying us.  Only the Spirit of God can truly help a lost person to come to their senses and mercifully He works on each person.  However, even then, when those glimpses come, we can choose to ignore it.  The Bible calls this hardening your heart.  When does a heart become so hard that nothing, not even Truth, can break through?  This is something that cannot be answered, but must be recognized.

In this moment of seeing the truth, the young man recognizes that the only path out is to humble himself and return to his father.  This is a plan born out of desperation and yet also the understanding that his father is different than those who surround him now.  Perhaps I can go back and be a slave in my father’s house.  He knows he doesn’t deserve even that, yet, it is worth a shot.  The worst that can happen is that he will be rejected and in the same condition he is in now.  These two key points are necessary to true repentance: humbling and returning.  When we can strip ourselves of all the ways of thinking, reasons, philosophies, and lusts that led us away from God in the first place, then we are able to come back to Him for help.

The young man also comes back without demand and with an attitude of unworthiness.  If we approach God with demands then we are not truly repentant.  The person who repents takes full responsibility for their choices and the effects of them.  They are asking for help rather than demanding it.  At times they are hoping against hope for help, that’s how desperate they are.  Do not be so quick to pump up the self-esteem of a person who is coming to Christ.  Yes, God loves them and yes, He will definitely restore them to the status of a son.  But it will have been over the top of my sin.  When we diminish our sin we are at the same time diminishing the greatness of God’s love and mercy towards us.  If my sin was no big deal then God’s grace is not a big deal.  If I only owe a penny to my friend, it is no big deal when he says to forget about paying it back.  But if I owed him $100,000 and he forgave the loan, I would be indebted to him immensely.

A Father And Son Are Reunited

In verses 20-32 we have the fun part of the story.  The son goes back and is received by his father.  It is interesting that the father runs out to meet his son.  It is as if to say that if we will take steps back towards God, He will come out to meet us and bring us all the way back home.  God is looking for any movement in our life back towards Him.  He isn’t waiting for us to prove ourselves.  Rather, He runs to us quickly in order to help us come all the way.

It is also important to notice the compassion of the father.  God has a great deal of compassion for sinners who repent and turn back towards Him.  Of course, He had compassion before, but it was internal.  The lost person’s heart is separated from God and wants nothing from Him.  But, when the lost heart turns back towards God, His compassion can now flow towards them.  Now that the son’s heart has changed, God can act in a way that would not have been received before.  If the father had showed up while the son was partying he would not have been received.  If he had shown up too soon, when the son was working as a feeder of pigs, the son might have willfully stayed there eating pig slop.  But at just the right time, the father runs out to his son.  This is God’s way with us.

Next the Father throws a celebration for his son.  God doesn’t just bring us back into the home.  He celebrates.  We cannot fathom the heights to which the heart of God ascends when a sinner repents, or I should say when we repent.  We should ponder long the reality of what is being shown here.  God does not just require repentance; He throws a party when we do it.

The father also blesses his son as if he was a favorite son.  He gives him the best robe, a ring, and sandals (and most likely a bath).  This is a picture of the lavish love that God pours out upon those who turn to Him.  He will not hear of us serving only as a slave.  He will not leave us in our filthy stained condition.  But, rather, He will lavish upon us those things that we do not deserve.  Believers have the privilege to delight in the robe of the righteousness of Christ, and the gifts of the Holy Spirit.  We can walk in the authority of His favored Son, Jesus.  We also have a future with the Father that we had thrown away.

It is at this moment that the beautiful story hits a snag.  The older brother is offended.  He hears what is going on and refuses to go into the celebration.  He begins to separate himself from the path of his father’s choice.  Up to now he has followed his father’s wisdom, but this is too much.  At that moment, he too becomes a son who is in jeopardy of becoming a lost son.  Whether he goes off to a far country or not, he does not want to join with his father.  His complaint that he never got to celebrate with his friends is flimsy.  First of all the lost brother most likely doesn’t have any “friends” at the celebration, only the father and his servants.  Second of all, the celebration is offset by the grieving that went on before.  Imagine that the celebration is like 100 happy points all in one day.  The older son can only see that he never got 100 happy points all in one day.  This isn’t fair is it?  The reality is that the day the younger son left the father experienced something like a 1,000,000 sad points.  Every day since his leaving the father had grieved with sadness over the loss of his son.  Now the 100 happy points seem small.  Now let’s continue with these happy points.  Imagine that one normal day with his elder son was like 10 happy points.  How many days had they dwelt together with no real sad points to think of and 10 happy points racking up: 10 per day, 70 per week, 300 per month, 3,652 per year.  It is so easy to discount the happiness of “normal.”   It may not be a festival celebration, but the simple meals that we have together, day after day, are not a drudgery when we love each other.

Ultimately being lost is a matter of the heart.  We have all been lost children of God.  His heart yearned for the return of each of us.  He has planned a great celebration and feast for those who return to Him.  In all of this we see God’s heart for each person who has been found and for those who are still out there squandering their inheritance.  When you first get saved you are the younger brother.  But over time our hearts can become entitled and we can become derisive towards those who turn back to God after us.  Beware of such a heart because it is a lost heart as well.

The Lost Son audio