Marriage: God's Rejection of Sexual Immorality
Pastor Marty Tuesday, February 28, 2012 at 1:30PM We have been talking about God's purpose in the design of marriage and how it teaches us what sacrificial, godly love really is. Marriage also helps us to understand God's desire to be one with his people. Today we are going to move to the "flip side" of this coin and talk about the fact that, by choosing marriage as his design for mankind, God was simultaneously NOT choosing all other forms of sexual expression. In fact, in His Word, God explicitly denounces all sexuality outside of the context of marriage as immoral.
God did not just happen to choose marriage, he was designing something that had a goodness to it. Whereas when he rejects other forms of sexuality, he is rejecting "designs" that had inherent ungodliness in them. Quite simply put, God knew that sexual immorality would not help us to know him better and become one with him. Instead it would corrupt us further and further until we would want nothing with him. Let's look at the Scriptures.
God's Rejection of Sexual Immorality is Abundantly Clear
You will want to take a moment to read 2 passages. The first is found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 and the second is found in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 15-20.
1 Thessalonians 4: 3 It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4 that each of you should learn to control his own body[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, 5 not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; 6 and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. 7 For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. 8 Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.
1 Corinthians 6: 9 Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders 10 nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God....15 Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! 16 Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”[b] 17 But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. 18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.
God cannot be any clearer that to embrace him is to turn away from sexual immorality. This is clear in the Old Testament and did not change at the cross. Though Christ's sacrifice covers our sin it does not give us license to sin as we please.
Perhaps at this point we should be clear on what exactly constitutes sexual immorality. In the Bible sexual immorality is defined as any sexual activity outside of the boundaries of one man and one woman within the context of marriage. The polygamous marriages that are seen in the scriptures are not promoted and clearly demonstrate problems. Christ said it best when he said, "From the beginning it was not so." In the garden God clearly demonstrated his design when he gave one man one woman to be his wife for life. These are clear boundaries and anything that goes beyond them is sin. Now, biblically speaking it is not required to be married in a church or by a pastor for that matter. But it does need to be a public commitment for life between one man and one woman before living together and any sexual activity.
Sexual immorality is so deeply entrenched in our society that we don't think twice about activities that God says are wrong. Any sex before a lifelong marital commitment is immoral and leads us away from God. Those who are in "faithful" but serial, sexual relationships are commiting sexual immorality. Those who treat sex like a good meal and "hookup" with whoever happens to be around and is willing are committing sexual immorality. They are not following God. Those involved in solliciting or providing prostitution are sinning. Those who are having a relationship with someone other than their spouse are committing adultery. It is rejected by God and he will judge it. Those who are in homosexual, bisexual, and the list goes on, relationships are not pleasing the Lord. They are choosing sin and rejecting God. Now is there forgiveness in Jesus? Of course there is. In verse 11 of 1 Corinthians 6 Paul states that many of them used to be: fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, homosexuals, sodomites, theives, covetous, drunkards, revilers, and extortioners, but God had washed them of that sin, which had defiled them. That means they had quit expressing their sexuality outside of God's boundaries and had repented of their past.
There are some extremely dangerous attitudes that are so pervasive in our culture that even "christians" are tempted to pretend that they are okay, or even wise. A common one is this, "wake up and join the 21st century." As if there wasn't sexual immorality in Paul's day? Why don't we "wake up" and look at the 1st century and what happened to those who thumbed their nose at God's design and did it "there way." What we will see is both great and small nations falling apart at the seems and going into history's dust bin. If we don't wake up now then we will get a rude awakening in the future when we stand before God.
Another dangerous attitude seems more pious. It is the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," policy that many churches employ. I won't pry and for heaven's sake don't tell me you are sleeping with your girlfriend on our way to a revival meeting. I am not advocating a "spy society" within the church. But if we stick our head in the sand when fellow "Christians" are involved in blatant sexual immorality then we are going to be held accountable by God as an accomplice. If you are sleeping with someone not your spouse and then think you can worship God at church without grieving over your sin and breaking off the relationship then you are deceived. God will not be mocked. What ever you sow you are going to reap. When we sow seeds of sexual immorality then we will reap the judgment of God.
So what are God's problems with sexual immorality? The first is obvious. We embrace it over the top of his clear statements. God has said he will judge it. If we embrace sexual immorality then we put ourselves in danger of judgment. The second problem is found in 1 Corinthians 6:18. Sexual immorality destroys a person's body. It promotes and spreads sexually transmitted diseases that are very unhealthy and can even lead to death. It leaves emotional scars and wounds in people's hearts and minds. This then leads to an ever increasing dysfunction within relationships. The third reason is that it ultimately destroys homes and hearts. It actively fights against God's design of marriage and brings great sorrow upon partners, kids, and relatives. It also leads to all kinds of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness. When these increase in homes it quickly spreads to our society. The dysfunction then destroys the cohesion of the nation. Ultimately the last reason is that it destroys our own soul. When a person willingly disobeys God it is harmful to their soul. It hardens them against God and repeated activity in this area can lead to being impervious to God's attempts to reach us. As we are damaging our soul's ability to be sensitive to God, concurrently we are strengthening our sinful nature.
The sinful nature can be compared to a small infant. When an infant is small it cries and screams when it is hungry or needs its diaper changed. Now this is good at first because parents can ensure the child receives the proper care. However, by the time the child is 6 it has learned that parents tend to jump to "solve the problem" when they cry. Thus the picture of a child in the store who wants a candy bar. When a parent says no the child begins to whine about wanting it. If the parent still says no then this activity may escalate to crying and perhaps a full-fledged fit. To the degree that a parent lets a child get away with this learned behavior of manipulation, the child will become more and more selfish and less and less reasonable. Our flesh desires often go out of God's boundaries. We gorge ourselves on food when we should eat a proper amount. We watch sinful activities on TV and laugh. It is not that eating is wrong. But, when it get's out of bounds of God's design then it becomes destructive, and manipulative. The more we give into sexual immorality the harder it is to get free from your own fleshly desires.
Christians Must Reject Sexual Immorality In Their Own Life
We cannot waffle on this issue. We must be firm within our own mind and recognize that I cannot embrace God and keep holding onto sexual immorality. This starts with using godly counsel from the Bible and mature believers and being discerning of our culture's ideas. Society says, "Marriage is a antiquated tradition and it ruins your sex life." But what does God say? God actually promotes marriage as a way to protect yourself from the allurement of sexual immorality. Society says, "If your spouse doesn't make you happy any more than have an affair to spice things up, or just leave them." But God tells us to flee from sexual immorality and learn to lay down our lives for our spouse. God calls us to a far greater maturity in our "love." Even christians might say that sex is fine if you are going to get married or are at least engaged. But God says that if you are burning in desire so much that you can't wait then get married now. We need to correct other believers who voice such ideas.
In verse 18 of 1 Corinthians 6 we are told to flee sexual immorality. This is the idea of seeking safety by getting away from it, just as you would if you were hiking and came upon a mama grizzly and her little cubs. If you play with it then it will "eat your lunch." However, we need to flee both externally and internally. Your thought life is important. You can't keep thoughts from coming through your mind but you can stop yourself from fantasizing on them. When you develop a pattern of controlling sexual thoughts and actions it actually develops a strength over a period of time. Though we shouldn't trust in this "strength" alone, we will develop a wall of safety around us when we control our thoughts and actions. If you are struggling with sexual desire then ask God to help you find a good, Christian person and marry them. Do this before moving in with them and having sexual relations. If you are already married then find ways to protect your marriage from the threat of sexual temptation; whether virtually on the internet or actually in the places you go. Also, humble yourself so that God can teach you how to truly love you spouse. Don't be controlled by your emotions. Rather lay your emotions before the Lord in prayer and ask for his help to be one with your spouse in body, mind and spirit. To do so will teach you how to be one with Jesus himself.
Let me just close by reminding us of that passage in Romans 1:18-32. Paul connects the problem of refusing to glorify God to idolatry and sexual immorality. They come from the same root cause. If you are embracing sexual immorality then somewhere you have refused to glorify God. In fact, you have idols in your heart that are more important to you than God. You may never have made the connection but you have become an idolater. Our nation has become a nation of idolatry. We have built layer upon layer and decade upon decade of refusing to glorify God. The proof is in the pudding, as we look all around us today. Do not jump in with the world and join them in pleasing the flesh because God will judge. Let us all repent today and choose to follow the purity of God's plan and design in our life.
Lastly let me simply leave you with this passage in 1 Peter 4:
"1 Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. 2 As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. 3 For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. 4 They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. 5 But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. 6 For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.
7 The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray."