The Design of God in Marriage

We are going to talk today about how God has designed marriage for a particular task.  It is a tool that he uses to teach us to love by serving.  The song, Love is a Many Splendored Thing, alludes to the idea of a precious gem.  It has many different facets and as you look at each facet from different angles you see different beauty in it.  In a similar way, love bears many different names when viewed from many different angles.  In this way, I would say that serving really is another word for love.  When we desire the well being of another person, we will serve them in many ways.  The response of love always takes on a particular form depending upon the situation.  So that when a young child errs in skill, a parent's love will "Help" them.  Helping really is a form of love.  However, when a young child errs in ethics, love may respond by correction and eventually discipline.  Thus Correcting and Discipline are different forms of love.  In case you have negative feelings associated with these two words, please understand that all good things can be abused.  What I am talking about is that which is truly motivated by love.

Today we are going to start in Genesis 2:18-25.

Marriage is God's Idea

Now as we look at this section we first notice that Adam did not lodge a complaint with God.  "Hey, God, I don't have a mate.  Why don't you do something about that."  Just as Adam himself was God's idea, so too was Adam's wife, Eve.  In an age when it is popular to despise the human race and wish for a world where humans did not exist, it is important to remind ourselves that humans were God's idea.  However, God first creates Adam without any other humans.  He is not technically alone- there are animals, and God to keep him company- but he is alone.  We don't know if Adam felt lonely but we do know that God purposefully made Adam to be alone before he gained a companion.  God didn't do this with the animals.  Now how long Adam was alone is not stated here, but from the overall creation account it appears that later that day Eve is created.  When Eve is finally presented to Adam she is called his wife.  This was the first marriage and the beginning of the concept that a man and a woman would come together to be one.

Not only is marriage God's idea, but I also want us to see that God purposefully created humans with a complementary design.  This is true both physically and emotionally.  This complementary design practically forces us to come together in many different ways: socially, professionally, sexually, and protectively.  God seems to have designed aspects to humanity, in which, no individual has all of them.  From a gender standpoint he made men and women, male and female.  There is an evident physical design and generally a comparable internal compelling that awakens at a certain age.  It is clear from creation that God could have made us androgynous and we could have procreated asexually.  But this would not have fit his purposes.  But this is not true only on a physical basis.  From brains to brawn, and from introvert to extrovert God has made us to "need" each other socially.  All of us, even the most talented, are not an island unto themselves.  We have been created to link with other humans.  The most intimate link of course is marriage.

I will take a brief moment to mention that the founding father's of our nation (U.S.A.) understood a concept called Natural Law.  They believed that by looking at nature (its design and function) you could see the mind and plan of God.  Such laws would govern all of nature and be truly universal.  Thus Natural Law would argue that the physical design of a man and woman clearly demonstrates that God intended men and women to to be intimate with one another.  Therefore, Natural Law would dictate that a man and a woman have the right to come together in an intimate relationship that we call marriage.  Now, further we can deduce from the fact that they are two separate beings that they should both be free to self-determine who the other partner will be.  Thus a man and a woman have the right to marry whom they will, as long as that other person agrees.  I take time to mention this because the current "Gay Marriage" debate that is happening in our country itself flies in the face of both Natural Law and Biblical Revelation.  It is clear from design and function that a man was not meant to be intimate with a man and neither for a woman to be intimate with a woman.  Thus Natural Law would not dictate that they have the right to be intimate with one another.  Also, we have an even higher statement from God himself revealed in Scripture that it is not what he intended.  Thus God tells us what he intended both explicitly (in the Bible) and implicity (in the design and function of men and women).

Now, as I said, it is clear that marriage was God's idea and he was the one who provided the answer for Adam.  In fact, God, as the Creator of everything, is the great provider of all that we could lack.  We often talk about miracles as if they are from God and everything else is from nature.  Nope, it is all from God.  Isn't nature just an infinite amount of miracles that God did in advance and have been waiting around for thousands of years till you could experience them?  All aid and help ultimately comes from the Lord, whether there is a "natural" explanation or not.

Now God knew Adam was alone and would become lonely.  So he creates Eve.  Here we have the first surgery, which is performed by God himself.  The Bible doesn't go into the specifics of why God pulled a rib out of Adam and somehow made Eve from it.  He could have made Eve from the dirt just like he did Adam.  But instead, God wanted Adam to have a clear illustration that he was missing a part of himself, and Eve would be the way to have it back.  In fact, it could be better than the rib.  God here becomes the Father of the bride as he brings Eve to Adam.

We can also see how the design of procreation puts kids in the care of a man and woman who created them within a loving relationship.  This ability to bring into the world other humans is a gift from God. Even though we may be able to go around the design through technology, this will not remove the hard-wired need to be in relationship with someone.  However, notice how a child goes from clinging to parents to one day separating from them.  A child when it is young is vulnerable and clearly is not designed to take care of itself.  If humans abandon their young at birth then the baby will die.  All of this comes from God and was his design and fits his purposes in our life.

Next week we will focus more on that purpose.  But let it suffice to say that we may abuse marriage and misuse it.  We may fight against the things it is trying to do in our life.  In that sense we are fighting against the purposes of God.  Marriage was designed to help man know himself better (I am selfish and proud in heart) and know God better (God is a loving servant and humble in heart).