Sharing Jesus With Others

Since last fall we have been working through the four purposes that we believe God has for our church.  All of these work together to bring glory to God and, up to now we have looked at the first three:

1. Connecting to God through Jesus and to his people through authentic relationships.
2. Growing spiritually through intentionally becoming like Jesus.
3. Serving selflessly other believers through the material and spiritual gifts that God has given us.

Today we are going to start looking at the fourth purpose and that is Sharing Jesus passionately with those who do not know him.  We don't want to just tell people about Jesus.  We want to do it with a passion that can only come from someone who is drawing life from Jesus.  I am going to use the passage in Matthew 28:16-20 to make some points about sharing Jesus with those who do not know him.

This passage is often called the great commission.  In it Jesus gives an explicit directive to his disciples.  They are to share the great news about the life, teaching, and work of Jesus to the nations.  Jesus promised them that he would be with them, by his Spirit, even until the end of the age.  Now this is an important part of the commission because it tells us that we are in a particular age that will have an end.  Elsewhere in scripture it is referred to as the age of God's grace.  Some have called it the age of the church.  Regardless of what terminology you choose, it is a time when God's judgment should have been poured out on the earth 2,000 years ago.  Judgment was averted by Jesus.  Jesus stepped in and took the judgment of the world upon himself.  This opened the door of grace for those who would put their faith in Jesus and accept him as the Lord and Means of dealing with their own sin.  God has given man added time in order to repent.  Sadly many do not take advantage of this window of opportunity.

The Call to Share is Given to those Connected to Jesus.

In verse 16 we see that Jesus had set up this meeting and that he was calling his eleven disciples (Judas the betrayer had killed himself) to give them this directive of Sharing what they had received.  For over three years they had followed him and during that time they had become closer and closer to Jesus.  These bonding times had culminated in an event they would never forget: the execution of their leader, teacher, friend, savior. 

This connection is more than just a natural one.  Judas did all these things with the eleven.  However he is not here in this moment.  It is after the ranks have been weeded out by the cross that Jesus then gives his commission.  Never lose sight of the fact that we must have a living connection with Jesus if we are going to try and help others to become disciples.  This connection is a spiritual connection that you cannot receive by right of genealogy, religious upbringing, or certain works.  It is a spiritual connection that Jesus recognized in Matthew 16:17 when he said to Peter, "Blessed are you Simon, Bar-Jonah, for flesh and blood has not revealed this to you, but my father who is in heaven."  Peter didn't believe that Jesus was the messiah just because Jesus told him so.  He believed because the Spirit of God had helped him to see it.  This is true for us and it will be true for those we seek to share the gospel.  They can only receive it if they receive it spiritually.  No amount of "sinner's prayers" and "going to church" will make a connection.  Only a heart of faith responding to the touch of the Holy Spirit.

The Call to Share is Compelled by the Holy Spirit.

Now verse 19 has a section where it says to baptize the disciples in the name of the Father, and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit.  Typically this is only referenced when people argue about how to baptize someone.  But this is more than a phrase to say when baptizing someone.  It really is pointing out the being and authority behind this task that is being given.  It is the heart of the Tri-une God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit that sends us to make disciples.  It is the very heart of God himself that says this is what I want you to do.  Though Jesus has gone into heaven the Holy Spirit still remains moving the hearts of those who will hear him to make disciples. 

Sharing is not just an act of our flesh where we do it once a week and check it off the list.  In John 7:37-39, Jesus told those who were thirsty to come to him and he would give them a drink.  This little drink would become a river inside of them that would flow out.  He then explains that this river is the Life giving Holy Spirit of God.  Now it is not a stream but a river.  If you have ever walked out into the current of a river you have felt that "point of no return" where you don't have control, the river does.  It is the same with sharing Jesus.  This must be an activity that is born of and compelled by the Holy Spirit.  If we think we can accomplish this task from the shore we are mistaken.  We will only succeed in guilting people and fearing them into sharing Christ.  And, this will only give birth to guilty and fearful disciples.

How easy it would be to "computerize" the church and put everyone's name in our database.  We then could create a numerical system that analyzes your ability or lack thereof in sharing Jesus.  We can offer gifts to those who do the best and put their name in the bulletin.  But these techniques can only manipulate the flesh.  They have no spiritual power to motivate men by the right things.  We could be more successful on the surface, but all we would create are empty cups.  What I mean by empty cups is this.  When you buy a cup, you may buy it because it is pretty and looks sturdy.  But in the end it is meant to give drink to the user.  No matter what, if there are 2 cups on a table and the beautiful one is empty and the ugly one is full of drink then I will use the one that has something in it.  An empty container may look nice but it offers you nothing that is real.  The living Water that Jesus gives is the Holy Spirit.  He will be like a river in your heart that takes you from being an empty cup to being a cup that is overflowing with living water.  The modern Zombie craze focuses on creatures that really aren't human.  Their bodies are animated but the lights aren't on upstairs.  They are an empty cup: Living dead.  This is what we are spiritually without the Holy Spirit.  We might look alive.  We might even look nice like the cup I mentioned earlier, but in the end if the lights aren't on in our heart, if the cup is empty and the Holy Spirit has filled our heart with his life, then we will waste our time in trying to "do" the work of the Lord.  He empowers those he calls.  He never expected you to do it in your own strength.

In Acts 1:8, the last words of Jesus to his disciples, he connects being baptized with the Holy Spirit to being empowered to witness or share with the world the good news of Jesus.  If you don't have that living river compelling you along in your sharing of Jesus then you need to pray today for the Holy Spirit to fill you with his life, his abundant life.

The call to Share is Given by the LORD of lords.

 In verse 18, Jesus says that all authority in heaven and earth had been given to him.  Now I think we read that too quickly without letting it marinate us.  If the President of the United States came on national TV and said, "All money in heaven and earth has been given to me.  It is all now in my bank account."  What would be your first thought?  "Oh isn't that nice.  He must be proud."  No way!  You would jump and think, "wait a minute.  I have money.  If he has it all then that mean I have none!"  Next you would be online in a jiffy checking out your bank account balance.  So when Jesus says that ALL authority in heaven and earth have been given to him that means there are some angels somewhere going, "What?"  That means there are some Ceasars, Kings, Khans, etc... somewhere on earth going saying "What?"  All authority that could belong to angels and men has been given to Jesus, period.  That is the Father's decree and that is his judgment.  No one deserves any authority but Jesus.  We need to understand that the one who is sending us to share the good news with the lost has all authority and power.

The call to make disciples of every nation must not be intimidated by governments and philosophies that stand up against "Sharing Jesus."  Yes, they have power on this earth but it is power that they are using in the face of Jesus.  They will be held accountable to him.  If they put Christians to death simply for having converted from Islam then so be it.  Those governements that do such evil will give account to the Lord of lords.  If they ridicule you in the press and pass laws to make sharing Jesus with others a crime then so be it.  Those who do such ridiculous and evil things will give an account to Jesus one day because they are usurping his authority.  Jesus has given us the authority to stand with boldness and share Christ, yet in humility.

The Lord of lords has commissioned us to make disciples of every nation.  To do this Jesus told them to Go, Baptize, and Teach his commands.  Until this Age of Grace is over we are not done with this task.

If you are struggling with sharing your faith in Jesus with others then go back to the beginning when you became a Christian.    Look at your connection to Jesus.  Was it more of a natural connection than a spiritual one?  Were you only born into a Christian home and just stayed in Church because that is all you ever knew?  Do you call yourself a Christian just because Grandma was one?  Maybe it was spiritual but you have quit drinking from the living water of God's Spirit.  Jesus has been faithful to make it available but we often let the cares of this life and its pleasures fill us with everything but God's Spirit.  Take time right now to ask God to fill you with his Spirit.  Take time each day to say, "God, I don't want to be an empty cup.  Fill me with your truth and presence today."  Be compelled by his life rushing through you.

Maybe you have been faithful to share the good news.  Make sure each day that you are doing it by the compelling of the Spirit rather than out of the guilt and "cognitive dissonance" that comes from knowing you "should" be doing something.  It cannot be "fixed" by the flesh.  First turn to the Spirit through prayer and meditation in God's Word.  Let him fill you first and minister to you first so that you can go forth as an overflowing cup.

Let's ask Jesus today to make us more thirsty for his Spirit, to embrace his direction and Truth.  So that we might truly and passionately share Jesus with those who do not know him.

"Sharing Jesus" audio

Teen Challenge Women's Ministry Group

This last Sunday we had the privilege of hosting a group of ladies from the Teen Challenge Women's Center in Graham, Washington.  Executive Director Bob Stone and his wife Carolyn led the group in a time of music, testimonials and a brief message from Rev. Bob Stone.

If you have never been in a Teen Challenge service then you have missed a bitter-sweet time.  It is bitter because the testimonials of the lives of these ladies are saddening.   Some of the sadness comes from what has been done to them throughout the years and some of it is from what they have done to themselves and people around them.  These ladies are all battling with life-controlling addictions that had left them at rock bottom.  But then they heard about Teen challenge (click to visit their website and learn more).

One of the ladies shared how this Friday is her graduation day.  She will be moving back to establish contact with a daughter that she has not connected with for years.  This is the sweet part.  To see these ladies, who just months ago were strung out on drugs and with no hope, singing songs to Jesus and talking about the new "sisters" they have is amazing. 

"God sets the lonelyin families, he leads forth the prisoners with singing; but the rebellious live in a sun-scorched land.." (Psalm 68:6, NIV)

You might be reading this and wondering if God really does put the lonely in families.  Notice, however, the second part about rebellion.  Our rebellion often brings us down a hard and lonely road.  But to those who will humble themselves and turn away from rebelling against God, there is a place in his family.  Each of these ladies made a choice to enter Teen Challenge's program, knowing that it was Bible-based.  They then made a decision to stick it out and embrace the message of the gospel of Jesus.  Praise God!

We had taken up a food and household items shower to bless the women's center.  We also received an offering to help advance the ministry.  If you were unable to attend and desire to donate to this ministry then you can still donate during our weekly offerings, or mail it to the church address on our home page.  Please designate any offerings for "Teen Challenge."

Let me just challenge you on several levels.  Perhaps drugs and alcohol are controlling your life.  Perhaps they have become the center of everything you think and do, that is, they have become your god.  Multitudes who have gone before you down this path have testified with their mouth, or given witness with their life, that if you do not get free from these evils then they will steal, destroy, and eventually kill everything in your life.  Turn to Jesus today.  Contact Teen Challenge through the above website and get some counseling.  Choose life and not death.

If you are a believer and have never struggled with drugs and alcohol, let me just say that it is easy to develop a cynicism that holds the sins of an individual against them.  We become a part of the world that his holding them back from Jesus.  Don't let yourself become such a thing.  These people are often "black-belts" in condemning and tearing down themselves.  But if we will listen to Jesus who said, "Neither do I condemn you.  Go and sin no more."  Elsewhere Jesus said that he didn't need to condemn people because they were already condemned.  Their sins condemn them moment by moment, the devil condemns them constantly, and they themselves join in the raucous fanfare and condemn themselves.   Do we sometimes run into people who have no sense of guilt and need to be told that their actions are sin before God?  Yes, this is true.  But it should not be our knee-jerk response to make sure people "feel" sorry for their sin.  Jesus didn't try to execute her even though if she were to stand before God, without dealing with her sins, she would be executed.  Instead he encouraged her to walk away from sin.  This is what Teen Challenge does.  It encourages people to walk away from the sinful choices they have made in their life and find freedom.  Pray today that God would show you how to do this.

Our nation, more than ever, needs Loving-Truth Warriors who are willing to go out into the sordid and messy lives of individuals who are suffering under the weight of their own sin and the sins of others against them.  Will we get down in the mud-pit in order to help them out?  Or, will we stand on the firm ground casting rocks as they struggle to get free?  Will not the God of heaven see such a plight and intervene?  Would he not cast us down from the firm ground into an eternal mire from which there is no recovery and rescue with his own right arm the hopelessly lost soul who cries out to him?  God hears the cry of the hopeless.  Do we?

Marriage: God's Rejection of Sexual Immorality

We have been talking about God's purpose in the design of marriage and how it teaches us what sacrificial, godly love really is.  Marriage also helps us to understand God's desire to be one with his people.  Today we are going to move to the "flip side" of this coin and talk about the fact that, by choosing marriage as his design for mankind, God was simultaneously NOT choosing all other forms of sexual expression.  In fact, in His Word, God explicitly denounces all sexuality outside of the context of marriage as immoral.

God did not just happen to choose marriage, he was designing something that had a goodness to it.  Whereas when he rejects other forms of sexuality, he is rejecting "designs" that had inherent ungodliness in them.  Quite simply put, God knew that sexual immorality would not help us to know him better and become one with him.  Instead it would corrupt us further and further until we would want nothing with him.  Let's look at the Scriptures.

God's Rejection of Sexual Immorality is Abundantly Clear

You will want to take a moment to read 2 passages.  The first is found in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-8 and the second is found in 1 Corinthians 6:9-11; 15-20.

1 Thessalonians 4:  ³ It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; ⁴ that each of you should learn to control his own body^[a] in a way that is holy and honorable, ⁵ not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; ⁶ and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. ⁷ For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life. ⁸ Therefore, he who rejects this instruction does not reject man but God, who gives you his Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:  ⁹ Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders ¹⁰ nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. ¹¹ And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God....¹⁵ Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! ¹⁶ Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, “The two will become one flesh.”^{[b] 17} But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. ¹⁸ Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. ¹⁹ Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; ²⁰ you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.

 God cannot be any clearer that to embrace him is to turn away from sexual immorality.  This is clear in the Old Testament and did not change at the cross.  Though Christ's sacrifice covers our sin it does not give us license to sin as we please.

Perhaps at this point we should be clear on what exactly constitutes sexual immorality.  In the Bible sexual immorality is defined as any sexual activity outside of the boundaries of one man and one woman within the context of marriage.  The polygamous marriages that are seen in the scriptures are not promoted and clearly demonstrate problems.  Christ said it best when he said, "From the beginning it was not so."  In the garden God clearly demonstrated his design when he gave one man one woman to be his wife for life.  These are clear boundaries and anything that goes beyond them is sin.  Now, biblically speaking it is not required to be married in a church or by a pastor for that matter.  But it does need to be a public commitment for life between one man and one woman before living together and any sexual activity.

Sexual immorality is so deeply entrenched in our society that we don't think twice about activities that God says are wrong.  Any sex before a lifelong marital commitment is immoral and leads us away from God.  Those who are in "faithful" but serial, sexual relationships are commiting sexual immorality.  Those who treat sex like a good meal and "hookup" with whoever happens to be around and is willing are committing sexual immorality.  They are not following God.  Those involved in solliciting or providing prostitution are sinning.  Those who are having a relationship with someone other than their spouse are committing adultery.  It is rejected by God and he will judge it.  Those who are in homosexual, bisexual, and the list goes on, relationships are not pleasing the Lord.  They are choosing sin and rejecting God.  Now is there forgiveness in Jesus?  Of course there is.  In verse 11 of 1 Corinthians 6 Paul states that many of them used to be: fornicators, idolaters, adulterers, homosexuals, sodomites, theives, covetous, drunkards, revilers, and extortioners, but God had washed them of that sin, which had defiled them.  That means they had quit expressing their sexuality outside of God's boundaries and had repented of their past.

There are some extremely dangerous attitudes that are so pervasive in our culture that even "christians" are tempted to pretend that they are okay, or even wise.  A common one is this, "wake up and join the 21st century."  As if there wasn't sexual immorality in Paul's day?  Why don't we "wake up" and look at the 1st century and what happened to those who thumbed their nose at God's design and did it "there way."  What we will see is both great and small nations falling apart at the seems and going into history's dust bin.  If we don't wake up now then we will get a rude awakening in the future when we stand before God.

Another dangerous attitude seems more pious.  It is the "Don't Ask, Don't Tell," policy that many churches employ.  I won't pry and for heaven's sake don't tell me you are sleeping with your girlfriend on our way to a revival meeting.  I am not advocating a "spy society" within the church.  But if we stick our head in the sand when fellow "Christians" are involved in blatant sexual immorality then we are going to be held accountable by God as an accomplice.  If you are sleeping with someone not your spouse and then think you can worship God at church without grieving over your sin and breaking off the relationship then you are deceived.  God will not be mocked.  What ever you sow you are going to reap.  When we sow seeds of sexual immorality then we will reap the judgment of God.

So what are God's problems with sexual immorality?  The first is obvious.  We embrace it over the top of his clear statements.  God has said he will judge it.  If we embrace sexual immorality then we put ourselves in danger of judgment.  The second problem is found in 1 Corinthians 6:18.  Sexual immorality destroys a person's body.  It promotes and spreads sexually transmitted diseases that are very unhealthy and can even lead to death.  It leaves emotional scars and wounds in people's hearts and minds.  This then leads to an ever increasing dysfunction within relationships.  The third reason is that it ultimately destroys homes and hearts.  It actively fights against God's design of marriage and brings great sorrow upon partners, kids, and relatives.  It also leads to all kinds of anger, bitterness, and unforgiveness.  When these increase in homes it quickly spreads to our society.  The dysfunction then destroys the cohesion of the nation.  Ultimately the last reason is that it destroys our own soul.  When a person willingly disobeys God it is harmful to their soul.  It hardens them against God and repeated activity in this area can lead to being impervious to God's attempts to reach us.  As we are damaging our soul's ability to be sensitive to God, concurrently we are strengthening our sinful nature.

The sinful nature can be compared to a small infant.  When an infant is small it cries and screams when it is hungry or needs its diaper changed.  Now this is good at first because parents can ensure the child receives the proper care.  However, by the time the child is 6 it has learned that parents tend to jump to "solve the problem" when they cry.  Thus the picture of a child in the store who wants a candy bar.  When a parent says no the child begins to whine about wanting it.  If the parent still says no then this activity may escalate to crying and perhaps a full-fledged fit.  To the degree that a parent lets a child get away with this learned behavior of manipulation, the child will become more and more selfish and less and less reasonable.  Our flesh desires often go out of God's boundaries.  We gorge ourselves on food when we should eat a proper amount.  We watch sinful activities on TV and laugh.  It is not that eating is wrong.  But, when it get's out of bounds of God's design then it becomes destructive, and manipulative.  The more we give into sexual immorality the harder it is to get free from your own fleshly desires.

Christians Must Reject Sexual Immorality In Their Own Life

 We cannot waffle on this issue.  We must be firm within our own mind and recognize that I cannot embrace God and keep holding onto sexual immorality.  This starts with using godly counsel from the Bible and mature believers and being discerning of our culture's ideas.  Society says, "Marriage is a antiquated tradition and it ruins your sex life."  But what does God say?  God actually promotes marriage as a way to protect yourself from the allurement of sexual immorality.  Society says, "If your spouse doesn't make you happy any more than have an affair to spice things up, or just leave them."  But God tells us to flee from sexual immorality and learn to lay down our lives for our spouse.  God calls us to a far greater maturity in our "love."  Even christians might say that sex is fine if you are going to get married or are at least engaged.  But God says that if you are burning in desire so much that you can't wait then get married now.  We need to correct other believers who voice such ideas.

In verse 18 of 1 Corinthians 6 we are told to flee sexual immorality.  This is the idea of seeking safety by getting away from it, just as you would if you were hiking and came upon a mama grizzly and her little cubs.  If you play with it then it will "eat your lunch."  However, we need to flee both externally and internally.  Your thought life is important.  You can't keep thoughts from coming through your mind but you can stop yourself from fantasizing on them.  When you develop a pattern of controlling sexual thoughts and actions it actually develops a strength over a period of time.  Though we shouldn't trust in this "strength" alone, we will develop a wall of safety around us when we control our thoughts and actions.  If you are struggling with sexual desire then ask God to help you find a good, Christian person and marry them.  Do this before moving in with them and having sexual relations.  If you are already married then find ways to protect your marriage from the threat of sexual temptation; whether virtually on the internet or actually in the places you go.  Also, humble yourself so that God can teach you how to truly love you spouse.  Don't be controlled by your emotions.  Rather lay your emotions before the Lord in prayer and ask for his help to be one with your spouse in body, mind and spirit.  To do so will teach you how to be one with Jesus himself.

Let me just close by reminding us of that passage in Romans 1:18-32.  Paul connects the problem of refusing to glorify God to idolatry and sexual immorality.  They come from the same root cause.  If you are embracing sexual immorality then somewhere you have refused to glorify God.  In fact, you have idols in your heart that are more important to you than God.  You may never have made the connection but you have become an idolater.   Our nation has become a nation of idolatry.  We have built layer upon layer and decade upon decade of refusing to glorify God.  The proof is in the pudding, as we look all around us today.  Do not jump in with the world and join them in pleasing the flesh because God will judge.  Let us all repent today and choose to follow the purity of God's plan and design in our life.

Lastly let me simply leave you with this passage in 1 Peter 4:

"¹ Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin. ² As a result, he does not live the rest of his earthly life for evil human desires, but rather for the will of God. ³ For you have spent enough time in the past doing what pagans choose to do—living in debauchery, lust, drunkenness, orgies, carousing and detestable idolatry. ⁴ They think it strange that you do not plunge with them into the same flood of dissipation, and they heap abuse on you. ⁵ But they will have to give account to him who is ready to judge the living and the dead. ⁶ For this is the reason the gospel was preached even to those who are now dead, so that they might be judged according to men in regard to the body, but live according to God in regard to the spirit.

⁷ The end of all things is near. Therefore be clear minded and self-controlled so that you can pray."

Sexual Immorality

The Design of God in Marriage Part II

 Last week we looked at Genesis and the beginning of marriage.  We saw how marriage was God's idea, not ours.  Adam didn't present a request before God asking for a wife.  God saw Adam's aloneness and created for him a mate.  Thus marriage is something that is good for men and for women.  It gives them companionship and teaches then what real love is.

However, God has a deeper purpose than just helping humans have good relationships together.  He also is teaching us about himself.  We are going to Ephesians chapter 5 today. 

Marriage is a Picture of Christ and the Church

As Paul discusses issues between husbands and wives he takes time to remind them that their marriage serves a greater purpose than just to make them happy and further the human race.  Part of God's design in marriage is to be a living analogy that will give the world a glimpse of the relationship between God and his people.  He reminds them in verse 31 that God's purpose was for marriage to make them "one flesh."  Now becoming one flesh, true, is physical.  But it also has an aspect that is within, that is our mind will and heart. 

Also, it is important that we recognize that this oneness is not a mystical or magical thing that happens once the pastor prays over us or we say our vows.  Sure we may be connected in a spiritual way.  But married people quickly find out that oneness is something that has to be worked towards and maintained.  Marriage has a way of making us face issues that could keep us from operating with one purpose.  However, notice that the oneness is a picture of the oneness of life and purpose that we should have with God (vs. 32).

Now Paul hammers home this oneness in verses 28 and 29 by reminding spouses that just as they take care of their own bodies by nourishing them and caring for them, so, they should care for each other in like manner.  To injure your spouse both physically or emotionally is to injure yourself, which clearly is madness.  We could cynically say that Paul is leveraging them with fleshly motivations, i.e. you are helping yourself to love your wife.  But Paul's argument is far more foundational than that.  He is flatly explaining that this really is the case.  God really has connected you with that other person and how you love them or not, will impact you personally.  It really is a logical no-brainer for Paul.  If God says he makes husbands and wife's "one flesh" than woe to the person who operates from a different mentality.  Jesus warned us of this when he said, "what God has put together let no one take apart."  You really can't even call it wisdom.  It is the practical action following belief in what Scripture says. 

Do you love your spouse like you do your own self?  Notice this is presented not so much as a sexual thing (i.e. nurture/care).  It is a picture of a healthy relationship.  Years ago, Marriage Seminar speaker, Gary Smalley used the analogy of a plant.  He pointed out that there are things that a plant needs to grow and there are things that are detrimental to its growth.  So too we can do things that either help or hinder our marriage.  What are some of the things that are needed in relationships?  We need love, affection, respect, praise, encouragement, forgiveness, and kindness; to name a few.  What are some of the things that are not needed in relationships? We don't need Anger, physical violence, manipulation, harsh words, blame, bullying, nagging etc...  The picture that Gary Smalley gives points out the need to serve one another.  If I only give you what I feel then each of us as plants will quickly wilt, wither, and die.

Now let me challenge you with this.  What if, when you get to heaven, God were to say, "Okay, I am going to reward you by giving you everything you ever gave to your spouse."  How many of us would immediately be thinking that if we had known that earlier we might have been nicer to our spouse?  But isn't this similar to what God is saying here?  When you sacrificially love your spouse you are actually loving yourself and not just in relation to this world.  Don't be a fool and act in a way that would not only bring injury to your spouse, but also bring injury to yourself.  Don't we realize that this is exactly how God loves us?  He nurtures and cares for us like a loving husband.  He has laid down his life out of love for us.  If he doesn't save a people to himself then he will bringing grief, sorrow, pain, and suffering upon himself.

Now, in verse 31, Paul mentions that a husband and wife should separate from their parents and connect with their spouse.  When a member of a marriage refuses to restrain inordinate, parental relations they directly impact their ability to connect to their spouse.  This doesn't mean you have to cut-off all contact and never interact.  However, marriage will teach you when you  is out of bounds.  It will cause trouble in one way or another.  This is intended to teach us about our need to separate from this world in order to cling to Jesus and become of one life and purpose with him.

Notice how Jesus did this for us.  He left his home in heaven to be incarnated on this earth.  He separated from heaven that he might come down and connect with mankind.  Their could be no oneness if he didn't do this.  Now that we have accepted his offer of marriage, he has gone away to prepare a home for us, The New Jerusalem.  If, while we wait for him, we are in love with the things of this world, that unfaithfulness draws us away from the oneness we are supposed to have.  Marriage really has been all about helping us to understand why and how we need to do this.   All of this is so that we can truly understand God's offer of intimacy in Jesus Christ.

Lastly, Paul mentions that Jesus loved the Church by laying down his life for it.  What is it that I need to die to?  What inordinate affections pull on my heart, vying for my attentions, pulling me away from the heart and purpose of Jesus? 

Let me challenge you first within the confines of marriage.  The biggest question in your mind should not be how can I get what I want.  But rather it should be how can I best serve them.  What is it that they really need in order to be what God has called them to be?  We are free to love one another, but Galatians 5:13 says, "Don't use freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another."  Whether you run from its lessons or not, you will have to face the lessons of love.  In fact even if you do not marry and aren't interested in God, you will have to face the hard facts of love.  Perhaps this is why so many marriages are failing today.  Perhaps, we are just to afraid of what love teaches us about God and his designs towards us.  Perhaps we just don't want to be like him.

Lastly, let us realize that these are pictures of God's love for us.  Let us realize the lengths to which God is willing to go in order to bring us to himself.  Just as a man cares for his new bride, so our Lord Jesus Christ, cares for the Church.  In fact, being God, I dare say he cares for more deeply, because we have great need of learning what true love is.

Ephesians 5:28-33