Faith, Duty and Being Offended

May 24, 2015-Luke 17:1-10

Today’s passage follows the parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus.  The parable was given to the Pharisees, but at this point Jesus turns back to his disciples to instruct them on obedience in these matters.  It is easy to treat the instructions of Jesus as optional, and only for those who want to move to higher levels of discipleship.  But in this passage Jesus drives home the importance of listening to him.  When people live for themselves and without thought for others, we end up sinning against each other.  Eventually those sins heap up on top of each other and create large separations between us.  In the last chapter Jesus spoke of how wealth could be used to bless people around us in His name.  But in this chapter Jesus deals with the other side of the equation: when you are the one being overlooked or sinned against.

Make Sure You Are Not A Cause Of Stumbling

It is very easy in this area to only focus on the sin of other people.  But Jesus warns against causing each other to stumble.  In 1 John 2:10 it says, “He who loves his brother abides in the light, and there is no cause for stumbling in him.”  When we truly love one another we will rid ourselves of those things that get in each other’s way.  Yet, when something does happen, we can let it bother us so much that it impacts our ability to trust God and obey Him.  Thus Jesus puts this in very strong terms; as a command and as a warning.

So what is meant by “offense” in this passage?  In verse 4 it is to sin against your brother.  The word that is translated “offense” here is more than just being offended by someone.  It is used to refer to anything that causes a person to be trapped or to fall.  It was used to refer to the stick that triggers a trap.  The Bible also refers to a “stone of offense (or stumbling)” in which the same word is used in regards to causing someone to fall and be injured.  Here it is being used of spiritual matters.  When we sin against each other we are causing a situation where the other person is tempted to fall into a trap of sin with us.  Jesus says that it is impossible for these offenses not to happen.  In fact it is impossible for us to live in this world without being an offense to others.  Some are an offense because they could care less about pleasing God and living for Him.  However, we can be an offense even when we want to please God, simply because we have a heart of flesh.  Christ is calling those who want to follow him to learn to deal with sins that inevitably crop up between them and others.

Jesus then pronounces a woe upon those who offend others.  This is a warning that when we walk this way (offending each other) we are headed for grief.  Like the Rich Man we will wake up one day to find ourselves weeping and crying for mercy.  Jesus gives very stern warning to those who do not take these matters seriously and learn to restrain themselves.  Even though Jesus does not flesh out what the woe would detail, it is clear that it can involve a number of things.  How we treat one another can affect our eternal destinies.  But, it can also affect our lives in the here and now.  It can bring grief to every one of our relationships and spoil the good it is intended for.  In fact, many times people who reject being a part of Christ’s Church do so out of hurt and bitterness.  They see Christians sinning against each other without dealing with it and it causes them to reject Jesus.  What a woeful condition we can find ourselves in when we reject God’s way and follow our own.

Ultimately Jesus is challenging us to pay attention to ourselves.  It is our tendency to be so focused on the sin of others that we pay little attention to our own.  We are told to “pay attention” to ourselves.  Inspect, and analyze how you treat others and how you respond to them.  Make sure there is no cause for stumbling within you.  It would be good to recognize that even if someone sins against us, there is a secondary temptation for us to sin against them.  Thus, especially in this situation we need to watch ourselves carefully.

Now the way Jesus lays this out, it doesn’t seem that there is much mercy.  I believe he puts it so sternly because our pride does not need coddled.  Yet, we know that God does not just warn us of woes, but also calls us to take advantage of the grace He has provided in order for us to deal with our sin correctly.  The heart of this instruction is that we work on not sinning against each other and that we exercise mercy with each other regardless of what side of the problem we find ourselves.  When we think of the rich man and Lazarus we clearly see the warning for the rich man.  But, Lazarus was being tempted to fall and to be trapped in the sin of bitterness and unbelief.  He could have refused to serve a God who would allow such a horrible life to happen to him, and yet, he clearly kept his faith in God.  What a sad turn to this story it would be if Lazarus would have been filled with such bitterness and hatred that he found himself right beside the rich man in the fires of Hell.

Reconcile With Those Who Sin Against You

Though Jesus doesn’t use the word reconcile here, the two instructions he does give to those who are sinned against are what help believers overcome the separating influence of sin and keep themselves tied together in relationship.  Sins separate, but forgiveness overcomes that separation.  Thus God does not give us any excuses to pull away from working things out with each other.

So, verse 3 gives the first instruction to you when someone sins against you.  Rebuke them.  Now that word sounds pretty harsh, but it simply means to correct them.  It is easy when we are hurt to lash out angrily or to retreat silently.  Neither one is a godly response to sin.  The believer is under a command from the Lord to face it when others sin against us and to deal with it.  Yet, correcting someone is a skill that needs to be honed.  Just as you were not born able to walk, so you are not born able to correct.  Sure you can do it, but are you causing more damage than good?  In this case we can be so right, in that we were sinned against, and yet so wrong, in that we rebuke harshly and angrily.

Now let me remind us that not all things are big enough to merit a rebuke.  We cannot expect people to speak and act perfectly all the time.  Little things that are merely aggravations can be and should be overlooked.  1 Peter 4:8 reminds us, “Above all things have fervent love for one another, for ‘love will cover a multitude of sins.’”  Now that doesn’t mean we are covering up sins.  But rather we cover it much like we would cover a bill for which someone else is short the money.  Also in Proverbs 19:11 it is said this way, “The discretion of a man makes him slow to anger, and his glory is to overlook a transgression.”  Thus discretion is found in thinking about ourselves and how we need to give mercy to others that we expect from them.

So how do we properly correct each other?  Ephesians 4:15 tells us to speak the truth in love with one another.  Love is that guiding principle that should surround our decision to correct someone.  This takes some serious time spent in prayer asking for wisdom as to what to say and for control over our own spirit.  I can sin against my brother in how I rebuke him.

Thus we are to correct and then forgive our brother.  Now forgiveness is a skill that needs to be honed as well.  We all have emotional barriers to overcome in order to truly forgive someone.  When we truly forgive someone we release them from the desire for justice we could hold over them.  When I see them their sin is no longer a part of the picture because I have released them from it.  Now this passage assumes a brother repents.  What do you do if he won’t repent?  You have to go to Matthew 18 for that information.  But let me just say that it follows the same spirit of this passage.  You must reconcile with your brother as far as is possible from your side.  There is no choice, if you are going to follow Jesus, and you are never free to flee from reconciliation.  Thus in Matthew 18 we first correct our brother in private and without telling others what happened.  If the brother rejects us then we widen the circle and bring in one or two others to try and help us reconcile.  If he still refuses to repent then we take it before the Church and its elders.  If a person still refuses to repent even when faced with a whole church that is calling him to repentance he would be treated as if he wasn’t a believer.  Of course at any time he could repent and rejoin the assembly.  But, until then, he would not be received as a brother.  Why?  If he was truly following Jesus he would have no problem repenting.  Today we can get offended and go down the street to another church.  This is a weakness in the church today.  Instead of being reconciled and becoming more like Christ, we are fractured and become more like the spirit of this world.  God forgive us for running from reconciliation, repentance, and forgiveness.

In fact Jesus goes on to instruct us not to limit our forgiveness.  Even if your brother sins 7 times in one day and continues to ask forgiveness, we must forgive him.  There is no wiggle room to deny the repentant forgiveness.  We are under a command.  Now seven times is amazing to us.  We would question such a person’s sincerity.  However, the truth is that our flesh questions their sincerity on time number one.  If he is not sincere then his master (Jesus) will take care of that.  The rich man did all manner of religious things in his life, but eventually his lack of sincerity caught up with him.  Quit worrying about a person’s sincerity and start worrying about your own soul.  Yes, we can even rebuke a person regarding their sincerity or lack thereof.  But we still must do so in order to reconcile and out of love.  Now, seven is not some lucky number that allows us to quit forgiving.  Elsewhere, Jesus gives the number 70X7, i.e. 490.  The numbers are really meant to be so incredulous so as to cure us from counting.  Love keeps no record of wrongs, i.e. it doesn’t keep count.  Instead it speaks the truth in love and forgives.  If you limit your forgiveness to others, do you not limit it to yourself?  If you are merciless to others are you not asking God to be merciless to you?  Think on this.

We Have A Duty To God

Now Jesus ends on a note of duty.  He does so particularly because his disciples are amazed at what he expects of them.  “Increase our faith.”  Now surely this is a prayer we all should pray.  However, that is not what they are doing.  It is the equivalent of saying, how in the world do you expect us to do that!  Lord, I don’t have enough faith to do that!  Now before we talk about duty let us all understand that God wants us to do the right thing for more than duty.  He would rather we obey Him out of love for Him and also a love for His character, and the way that He does things.  Our obedience is best when it is the cry of faith, “I want to be like you, Lord!”  Yet, underlying this higher motivation must be a foundation understanding that I am also duty bound.  Like a foundation is to a building, so duty is to our desire to be like God.  When a hurricane strikes and wipes out a house, it leaves behind a foundation.  So, there are times when our desire to be like God and our love for him is wiped away in the storm and trial of temptation.  Yet, there must always be a foundational response of duty before God.  If you are a follower of Jesus then you have become a servant of God, duty-bound to Him.  Duty can save us when our own love fails us.  But, we must never settle for duty as the sole motivation.  We must build upon this foundation a whole structure of love and desire to be like Jesus.

Now the instructions of Jesus make it clear that the disciples do not need their faith increased.  You do not need great faith to follow these commands.  You need only a small amount of faith.  The amount of faith is not the problem.  It is my own stubborn pride.  The problem isn’t that I can’t believe and do it, it is that I don’t want to do it.  It is simple to do and yet hard because my flesh fights it so.

Yet, even our pride and wounds can be overcome.  The mulberry bush in this passage represents the root and bush of the sin of unforgiveness and bitterness that can grow in our hearts.  If we even have a mustard seed of faith in Jesus we can send our own bitterness into the sea of God’s forgiveness.  If we even trust Jesus one speck we could free our brother from his sins against us.  It is only our pride that stands in the way of forgiving another person.  So why am I so prideful?  And, if it causes me to reject the command of Jesus, am I truly trusting and believing upon Him?

Thus, the call to duty is given by Christ.  There is a reward for those who will serve him in this matter.  Yes, a reward in the life to come, for sure.  However, there is a reward in this life.  We will be enabled to become one with a spouse, and to raise a family.  We will be enabled to build a church body that brings honor to God.  We will be able to be a peaceful influence everywhere we go and enjoy the fruits of brotherly love rather than the bitterness of selfish endeavors.  We will be rewarded according to what masters us.  So who is your master, your own fleshly pride or Jesus?

Being Offended mp3

For Want Of A Better Life

May 17, 2015- Luke 16:19-31

Today we will be looking at the parable of the rich man and Lazarus.  This parable is meant to be the “other side” of the parable of the shrewd manager at the beginning of the chapter.  That is, the first parable emphasizes that believers should be shrewd in how they manage their wealth and possessions.  However, this parable emphasizes the dire consequences of not listening to the wisdom of Jesus.  Thus, as Jesus warned in the earlier parable that the “sons of light” were not very wise, here we see a “son of light” living out that very foolishness.  It is also important to recognize that Lazarus is himself an Israelite.  Thus there is not a racial element to this parable. 

A Great Contrast In This Life

The story opens up by giving us the extreme contrast in these two men’s lives.  They are the extremes of their society:  one very rich and the other very poor.  The rich man is full of abundance in every way.  He knows no need nor lives in want of anything.   He also wears the finest of clothing.  Now there were several words for a poor person in those days.  One emphasized a person who lived from paycheck to paycheck and from day to day.  They had some means of income but were hard pressed in keeping the essentials of their lives covered.  The word for this poor man is used of a person who has no ability to make an income.  This person has been reduced to begging for the kindness of others in order to live.  Thus this person is not just poor.  He has had something happen in his life to where he cannot care for himself and lives completely at the mercy of others.  The rich man is full of abundance, but Lazarus is full of sores.  Whatever these sores were they had incapacitated him.  This contrast of being full can be extended to their life as a whole.  The rich man is full of all that is good in life and Lazarus seems to have all that is bad and difficult.

Lastly we can look at the statement in verse 19 that the rich man “lived sumptuously” everyday (or lived in luxury).  The phrase is literally “was made glad splendidly every day.”  Yet, the poor man longed for just the crumbs that fell from the rich man’s table.  It doesn’t seem likely that Lazarus was given any crumbs since this detail is not mentioned.  Someone had put Lazarus at his gate because they knew he could afford to help Lazarus out.  But the story Jesus tells clearly paints a picture of the rich man ignoring Lazarus.  In fact the lack of compassion and help from the rich man is contrasted with the dogs that would come and lick his sores.  Lazarus could not afford medical attention, but it is only dogs who “treat” his sores.

A Great Contrast In The Afterlife

It matters not how soon it was between their deaths.  But in the story we quickly transition from this life to the afterlife.  We have seen how things were in this life.  But how will things be when their soul goes into the hereafter?  Many reject the idea of an afterlife.  But the Bible is clear that after this life we will have to give an account for how we have lived.  Those who have honored God in their life will fare well, but those who have not honored God in their life will fare poorly.

There are two very different destinations involved.  Now some Bible scholars tell us to not take the details given as truth about the afterlife.  Their logic goes something like this.  A parable is only intended to express a simple spiritual truth.  Thus to pour more meaning into the smaller elements of the story is to force it to teach more than Jesus intended.  I can appreciate that and believe that it is true.  However, what they neglect to recognize is this; parables are always true to life stories.  They may not be about a specific situation but they are in general true to life pictures of a spiritual truth.  Take this further as we think about the parable of the soils.  No one tries to argue that it is going too far when someone speculates that first century Israelites must have been involved in and knew much about agriculture.  Even though agriculture is not the spiritual message of the parable, Jesus uses a true to life picture about agriculture in order to hammer home a spiritual message.  The parable here today happens to be about the afterlife.  Of course no one can go check it out and come back to verify this.  Yet, Jesus tells a story that is true to life regarding the afterlife, and we have no reason to doubt this.  This is not an Aesop’s fable that is never meant to be taken as real.  It is a warning of very real things.

One destination is that of Abraham’s bosom and the other is the flames of Hades.  Let’s first deal with the term Hades.  Hades was the underworld where the dead went when they died.  The Hebrews adopted it as roughly synonymous with their word “Sheol,” which simply meant the grave (not so much the hole the body was placed in, but rather the holding place of the spirit).  Now using the word Hades does not mean that every Greek idea about Hades was correct.  Technically Abraham’s bosom would be a part of Sheol or Hades.  The story clearly represents two experiences in the afterlife that are as different as the two lives the rich man and Lazarus had in this life.  Abraham’s bosom was the place where those approved of God went.   Abraham is named not because he created it, but rather he represents those who respond in faith to God.  There is no real mention of what the conditions are except by contrast of what the rich man is experiencing.  The rich man ends up in the flames of Hades because he live was not approved by God.  Regardless of what you think about this parable one thing is clear, there is a good to gain and a bad to avoid in the afterlife and you would do well to heed this truth.

Lazarus is in a place of comfort that he was denied throughout his earthly life, whereas the rich man is tormented.  There are flames and he thirsts terribly.  It is interesting that this torment parallels the torment that Lazarus endured in his earthly life.  We should be careful of pushing the description of the flames of Hades too far.  This is a spiritual place and the rich man is only a spirit.  He suffers something that is like what a flame is to the earthly person.  He also suffers what is like thirst to an earthly person.  Whatever this torment is exactly, it is clear that we are shown comfort and torment as two very different destinations. 

The rich man has now become a poor man in the afterlife and is found begging for merely a drop of water.  Yet, Lazarus is in no such need and we do not see him asking for anything.  We can see the desperation in the ex-rich man as he reduces himself to asking for Lazarus to touch his finger to his tongue with a drop of water.  This is something he would never have conceived of asking for in his previous life and corresponds with the “crumbs from the table” that Lazarus longed for.  Thus we see the two destinations are one of no need and the other of great need.

Lastly we are told that there is no possibility of help from the righteous.  One of the sad things in this story is that Lazarus would have no doubt helped the man if he could.  The righteous are of the type that they will help others even when they have been evil to them.  But by God’s decree a separation has been put in place so that the wicked souls of men may receive no comfort from the righteous.  Notice that this life is the time for helping others and changing our condition and fate.  But in the afterlife we are receiving justice from god and thus may not be helped.  You can say that this is unfair and you couldn’t serve a God who would do such a thing.  Yet, ask yourself, what am I doing about my condition in eternity now?  Jesus is warning his listeners to take this life seriously.  How you life in this life will determine your destination in the life to come.

How Can People’s Minds Be Changed?

At this point the discussion changes because the rich man realizes the finality of his situation.  And yet, there are others who are still living on earth.  They don’t realize how serious their life is in light of the afterlife.  The rich man realizes that they need to be warned or they will end up where he is.  But how can that be done?  Particularly he has 5 brothers whom he knows are living much like he did.  They are not living for God and by His commands.  Most likely they are just as rich as he and just as stingy toward the hurting.  He comes up with a plan to send Lazarus back from the dead in order to warn them.  Now an interesting point to note here is that Jesus actually did resurrect a man named Lazarus from the dead.  We do not know for sure if this parable was told before or after the resurrection event.  Either way, Jesus is either hinting towards what he was going to do, or pointing out that what had been done was not going to change people’s minds.

Abraham is not really in a position to send Lazarus back.  Only God has the power of resurrection.  However, he does tell the rich man that “Moses and the prophets” are enough.  If they won’t believe that then they won’t believe a man coming back from the dead.  Now the Old Testament has all the required warnings of what is to come and the justice of God that looms over those who do not take Him seriously.  It even has the shock value of amazing signs and wonders accompanying it to get people’s attention.  Even today, we can say that God’s Word has been made even more powerful with the perfect testimony of Jesus and his own death and resurrection.  Those who want an amazing miracle today in order to believe do not recognize the fickle nature of the hearts of men.  The declarations of the prophets are enough.  Those who reject that will not change their minds by any great miracles.

Now the rich man envisions that if someone came back to life and told the story of what they saw there, it would be enough to convince people.  However, it can be difficult to take a person’s word as absolutely true.  Perhaps your dying mind only conjured up those images and somehow you survived thinking they were real.  Perhaps you are a charlatan who is only trying to get attention and sell books.  We have seen recently that some accounts of experiencing the afterlife were later confessed to being completely made up.  Thus the situation itself is unverifiable.  If we don’t want to believe something we will always find a way to dismiss evidence to the contrary.  Abraham says that if they won’t accept Moses and the prophets they won’t accept the testimony of someone who came back from the dead.  What are the excuses we often lay before God today?  We often say that God should do something more spectacular or clearer to prove Himself.  Always, we place ourselves in command and tell God to jump through our hoops and then we will believe.  Yet, have you ever considered that you are not being completely honest?  It is easy to say, yet God says back that you have received all you need in order to believe.  Anything more will not make a difference to your heart.

The wonderful thing to note in this parable is that God in His grace has given us the best of both.  He has given us His Word along with spectacular signs and wonders.  In it we can hear the truth and be drawn to honor God with our lives.  Yet, His Son Jesus has come back from the dead.  Notice, though, that Jesus does not come back from the dead and testify what He saw there.  Jesus actually does the opposite.  Throughout his life he taught the truths of heaven and then predicted that he would be killed and come back to life.  Thus with Jesus the resurrection becomes proof that he knew what he was talking about.  No one today who verifiably “dies on the table” and then comes back can claim this.  Thus God has given us more than what we need in order to believe.  So do you?  If you want a better destination than the rich man in this parable, then you had better learn to use the blessings in your life in order to help the hurting.  God is merciful to those who are merciful and merciless to those who are merciless.

Better Life audio

Motherhood in Perspective

Today is Mother’s Day and as such we are going to talk about how important it is for mother’s to keep things in proper perspective.  By way of illustration I am going to read a short letter from a college student to her parents, which has no known origin.  By the way, this letter is not purported to be an actual letter, but was more than likely created to emphasize how perspective affects our outlook.  Here is the letter:

Dear Mom and Dad,

Just thought I’d drop you a note to clue you in on my plans.  I’ve fallen in love with a guy called Jim.  He quit high school after grade eleven to get married.  About a year ago he got a divorce.  We’ve been going steady for two months and plan to get married in the fall.  Until then, I’ve decided to move into his apartment (I think I might be pregnant).  At any rate, I dropped out of school last week, although I’d like to finish college sometime in the future.  (Letter continued on the next page)…

Mom and Dad, I just want you to know that everything I’ve written so far in this letter is false.  None of it is true.  But, Mom and Dad, it IS true that I got a C- in French and flunked my math class…and it IS true that I’m going to need some more money for my tuition payments.

Being a mom is a difficult task that presents a unique set of challenges.  Yet, it is easy to lose perspective about it.  What is it I am really supposed to do?  What is success and what is failure?  Today we are going to look at three phases of life for moms: before being a mother, during the child rearing years, and after the kids leave the house.

Is Motherhood To Be Desired?

Over the last century being a mother has come to be a despised thing in some circles.  Whether it is Margaret Sanger calling for a 10 year moratorium on child births in the 1940’s or modern arguments that refer to motherhood as an enemy to women, a mom and dad raising a kid have much to overcome.  So, for a young woman, a very serious question to wrestle with is this: Is motherhood to be desired?  Is it some ancient form of slavery and restriction of women?  Does it necessarily ruin your professional and marital life?

Now before we deal with this question, I want to recognize that there are many women who, for one reason or another, have not or cannot have children.  I do not intend to diminish the difficulties of desiring to give birth to a child and being told you can’t.  Let me just say to those who are in that situation, trust God and talk with Him about your desires.  He may have something different for you that can be just as rewarding, whether becoming a foster parent, simply blessing kids around you, or mothering children spiritually.  So don’t make the act of birthing a baby of your own, the end all, of life and purpose.

Let’s go back to the question of the desirability of being a mother.  In Genesis 1:27-28, we see that motherhood is part of God’s design for women.  A man and woman coming together in a committed relationship to create the next generation is part of God’s design of humanity.  Whatever motherhood is, women were designed for it and it is not just a good thing, it is a God thing.

We also see in this Genesis passage that God refers to this process with the metaphor of being fruitful.  This is a powerful picture because no one would say that a tree without fruit is useless, and yet a tree that has fruit is something quite different altogether.  Throughout the Bible fruitfulness is more than physically giving birth to a child.  It is at its core a giving of life.  Yes, a child is birthed.  But it must be cared for and nurtured for it to be able to come to a point where it can live on its own.  Thus a woman’s fruitfulness is more than giving birth.  It is her ability to come alongside of another and give life to them.  This can be done regardless of one’s ability to conceive.  In fact the case can be made that the physical fruitfulness becomes a curse if the higher fruitfulness of physical and spiritual nurturing is neglected.  Rotten teens are not an argument against raising children.  They are an argument against the lack of a higher order of birthing that must happen.  The conception to birth process can be seen as an analogy of the higher order process that brings a child from birth into adult society.

In Psalm 127:3-4 we are told that children are an inheritance from the Lord.  In other words it is a portion that he has for many women that they can enjoy and tend to it.  It is not the only possible inheritance for women in life (If you are unable to have children recognize that God has an inheritance for you).  But neither should it be slighted as undesirable.

Motherhood is something that is good and desirable.  Take time to walk with God and He will make it clear if you are to be a mother or not.  Don’t lose perspective of the fact that you will come to the end of your life and there will be no going back.  Yes, we all have regrets, but don’t wall yourself off from motherhood without first spending the time in prayer to seek God’s will.

Am I A Failure As A Mother?

Once a woman has had a child, or more, it is very common to be plagued with doubts as to your success at it.  In fact they are very rarely doubts.  Generally you may feel quite sure that you have failed at it.  In Psalm 119:105, we are told that the Word of God is a lamp to our feet and a light to our path.  Thus, if you feel that you are a failure and don’t know what to do, turn to God for wisdom.  Let His Word shed light on what you should do. 

James picks up on this in James 1:5.  However, he not only counsels us to let God’s Word be a light to our path, but also counsels us to pray and ask for it.  Reading God’s Word is the content side, but we also have a spiritual and emotional side.  Spend time in prayer asking for wisdom to raise your child.  On top of this we can take our anxieties and worries, and put them in God’s hands because we know that He cares for us both emotionally and practically.

Now here are some rapid-fire encouragements that all of us know, but need to hear often.  Be realistic in how you judge yourself.  We can expect far too much of ourselves and our children.  In fact, a unrealistic expectation can make our “failures” even worse, by an unhealthy emphasis on perfection.  Relax and realize that you are not God.  There is only so much that you can do.  God does not expect you to be super-mom.  But you can be a supernatural mom by relying on God for His help.

Also, learn to prioritize.  Priorities help you to decide between what is going to get done and what isn’t.  Being a parent is one of those jobs that is never done and you’re always on the clock.  Many things that we see as failures are simply our limitations as a human.  You can’t do everything and God doesn’t expect it from you.  Prayerfully set priorities that make the really important things primary and the not so important things tertiary at best.

Another important thing is to find some friends that can understand what it means to be a mother.  The power of being able to talk with someone who understands us cannot be underestimated.  Don’t wall yourself off from others because you are such a “miserable failure.”  Isolation can make a person feel lonely even when they are surrounded by family.  So purposefully counteract it by seeking out friends who are raising kids themselves.  Alongside this, you can pray for God to lead you to a good mentor who is further along in life, a seasoned mom who can help you gain perspective.  In the now it feels like it is never going to end.  But a mom who has raised her kid can help keep you encouraged.  Normally this would be your mom and/or grandma.  But if this isn’t an option for you, don’t sit there.  Proactively seek out a mentor.

Lastly, moms, trust God.  Ultimately this is what we all have to do.  Many kids have come from horrible homes and grown up to become amazing servants of God and society.  So clearly you don’t have to be perfect for them to become all God wants them to be.  However, this is not an advocacy for not even caring.  You will have to give account to God for how you raised your kids, but not in the perfectionist way that you often do to yourself.  Your kid is going to grow up and make their own decisions.  You will be a powerful influence on them, but yet only an influence.  It doesn’t take perfection to do a good job; it just takes a love that is willing to be perfected.  “Lord, teach me to love my kids as You would have me!”

What now?

It is called the empty nest syndrome.  Some people look forward to the empty nest with far too much glee and, yet, others dread it with far too much gloom and depression.  A hyper-desire for what is down the road can adversely affect our actions in the now.  No, you don’t have to be perfect, but you do need to be engaged in the here and now.  Emotional abandonment can be a very heavy thing to place upon the shoulders of a child.  On the other hand, those who are depressed over the emptying of their nest can develop an unhealthy selfishness and lack of faith that God has other good things ahead for you.  If God gave you kids to enjoy then He will be faithful to give you things to enjoy at the next stage.  Yes, all you have known for the last 20-30 years is suddenly gone and you face an unknown future.  But you have been there before.  The same God who has led you to this point has a plan forward.  Take His hand and rejoice!

We see such attitude in Hebrews 11:24-27.  Moses is given a task by God.  He knew what was being asked on the macro-level.  But there was much ahead that required trusting God.  Surrender to the next stage and let God lead you forward just as God led Moses.  There is a reward ahead.  This highly transitional time can go in many different directions and will definitely go through several transitions.  Some of them will be your choices, and yet, some of them may not.  Many a couple has emptied the nest only to immediately be presented with failing parents who need their care.  Or perhaps you have an adult child who has special needs and will never be able to live on their own.  Many things can lie ahead: grandkids, travel, new professions, hobbies, and expanded horizons.  No one thing is necessary for you to have a full and rewarding life.  The only thing you really need is to trust God as He leads you into the next phase of your life.

Let me close with a passage in Titus 2:1-4.  Here Paul encourages the older women to help the younger women to see the importance of loving their husbands and children.  Though he doesn’t use this word, I would see this as mentoring.  You have alot of experience that you can share with younger women.  It should not come across as a “know-it-all” attitude.  In fact mentoring is not so much about showing a young mother what she is doing wrong (this can short-cut her own learning and developing process).  At its heart is one woman telling another woman that, if she will lean on Jesus, she will be woman enough to meet the daunting things in her life.  Encourage them and keep them trusting in Jesus and His wisdom.  And, a practical tip from time to time won’t hurt at all ;)

Motherhood in Perspective audio

What Do You Really Love?

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Luke 16:14-18

We are going to have another look at the Pharisees today.  But the hanging question within the passage today is, "What are you serving?"  Are you serving God's interests or your own interests.  Jesus says that you can only love one of them and that by the fact of that choice you will hate the other.  Now that really is a heavy thought.  And, yet we see Jesus speaking so as to push us off the fence.  We must choose one way or another whether we will love God or the desires of our flesh.

Obstacles To Loving Jesus And His Words

In verses 14 and 15 there began to be some open hostility and scoffing from the religious leaders towards the teaching of Jesus on wealth and possessions.  Jesus taught for us to use our wealth to bless others and bring people into the kingdom of God.  Now to be a disciple of Jesus is to say that you are going to follow him and his way of living.  Yet, his teachings are filled with obstacles to the way we tend to think.  At every step we are tripped up and made to choose once again whether to follow Jesus or choose our own fleshly desires.

So the obstacle for these religious leaders was money.  They loved money and the power it gave more than they loved Truth.  But enough about them.  What about me?  Do I love money and its power more than I love the Truth that Jesus is speaking in this passage and others?  In verse 13 Jesus warned that you can't serve money and God.  Instead we can use money and wealth in order to serve God's purposes and please Him.  If push comes to shove we would have to crucify its hold on our life by selling it all and giving it to the poor in order to follow Him.  The looming shadow of a day of accounting in which the true nature of our heart will be laid bare should be enough to cause even the religiously calloused person to have a moment's hesitation.  Yet, the Pharisees completely rejected these teachings and derided him.  Literally they turned up their nose at him and scoffed at what he was saying.  Regardless of how they justified their twisted views on money and wealth they pursued riches rather than pursuing the truth of God.  They were content to prop up a false God in order to continue their pursuit of their true God: money.  We should stop and ask the question if anything is ruling us.  Money is the issue in this passage, but it could be anything.  Maybe your need for acceptance by others is ruling you.  Maybe your need to be in control is ruling you.  If it is anything but a love for God then you will come to hate Jesus and his way.  Sometimes people tell themselves that they are pursuing money so that they can do more work for God.  Be careful.  Wealth is a viper whose venom gets in the blood stream and affects our thinking.  Yes, you can use wealth to do things for God.  But you can also use God in order to justify your pursuit of wealth.  Which is your true target?  This is an obstacle that has taken out many a person.

The next obstacle we see here is that of self-justification.  Jesus says that the Pharisees were those who justified themselves before men.  There are two problems here.  First is that we are the one doing the justifying.  I can always make a good case for myself.  But not all cases win in court.  Thus the second problem is that we try to put people on the judgment seat because they are easier to fool.  If I can get you to accept my case or justification then I can smuggly pat myself on the back.  Yet, the day a person challenges our justification we will kick them out of the judgment seat and get someone else to take their place.  In other words, we are playing a game.  They aren't really the one on the judgment seat; we are.  The truth is that God is the real judge and self-justification of any form will not stand before Him.  He knows the secret motivations of our heart and no matter how sophisticated our arguments they will each be stripped bare before him until we alone are left guilty.  Jesus warns that God detests what man esteems.  It is an abomination to Him.  It is also true that men tend to detest what God esteems.  We tend to run from what He honors and towards what He detests.  Are you willing to bet your eternal future on the case that you have made for yourself and has been accepted only by your friends?

A New Day Has Arrived

Jesus switches gears in verses 16-18.  He begins to point out that this is a new day and the religious leaders and anyone like them will not be able to continue doing "business as usual."  When God restored Israel back to His land from Babylon, He spoke to them and enabled them to rebuild the city of Jerusalem and the temple of the Lord.  But within 100 years they had walked away from the Truth and embraced their own idea of righteousness.  Thus God became silent.  The next 400 years became known as the years of silence.  Now please notice that if God is being silent in our life it is because He has already told us what we need to know.  In fact, it might be a red flag that I am not listening to what He has already said.  Many people will ignore God's Word of yesterday in order to get a "fresh" word from God today.  Beware that you don't walk in rebellion.  However, when John the Baptist came out of the wilderness a new day had begun.  God was not just talking again, but He would soon send His greatest prophet yet, His very own Son would shine a brilliant light upon Israel and the whole world.  Life would never be the same in Israel.

One of the things the Light does is it exposes the barriers that have kept people out of the Kingdom of God.  The pronouncements and actions of the religious leaders had become obstacles to people putting their faith in God.  The obstacle either caused people to quit trying and walk away or it caused people to join ranks among them and become a part of the obstacle itself.  They refused to listen to the Truth of God's Word and thereby enter the Kingdom of God.  Rather they set themselves up in the door to the Kingdom like a rabid dog and refused to let anyone go by them.  The valiant stand and rebukes that Jesus made exposed this age-old problem.

Thus Jesus says that in this new day people were pressing into the Kingdom of God.  Matthew 11:12, says it this way, "And from the days of John the baptist until now the kingdom of God suffers violence, and the violent take it by force."  Don't misread the words "violent" and "violence" here.  Jesus is using these terms to describe how the people who were hearing him were overcoming the opposition of the religious leaders.  They were climbing over the barriers and entering into the Kingdom of God.  Like shopping at Wal-mart on Christmas day it was a frenzied environment both in the natural and in the spiritual.  Those who had been told they had no chance and should go away, now were pressing over such lies and grasping the hem of the garment of Jesus in order to find the touch of God.  Jesus is the way and the door into the Kingdom of God.  No one enters but through Him.  Today the same religious arguments are raised and even new ones.  Often in the name of Jesus obstacles are thrown up by people who refuse to hear the truth of God's Word.  But the blazing light of the teaching of His Son strips these arguments bare and reveals them for what they are.  Still today the "unlearned" often enter ahead of the learned.

In verses 17-18 Jesus points the Pharisees back to the Law that they pretended to obey. He says that none of it will fall or fail.  It is going to be upheld against those who persist in self-righteousness, like they were doing.  But to those who recognize their sin, yield to God, and follow Jesus a new law is given.  It is the Law of the Spirit of Life in Christ Jesus.  Thus ask yourself the question.  Will I be judged by the law of Moses or by the Law of the Spirit?  In Romans 8:1-2, Paul places two concepts against each other.  On one side is walking according to the flesh and being under the Law of sin and death.  On the other side is walking according to the Spirit and being under Freedom (the law of the Spirit).  James picks up on this very same thing in his letter (2:12-13).  He warns his hearers that if they cling to self-righteousness over the top of sin they will be judged by the law of sin and death.  Yet, if we hear the Spirit point out our sin and repent of it, we will be judged by the law of liberty.  The follower of Jesus is to speak and live as one who will be received into heaven because of great mercy, not by his own righteousness.  Your righteousness or Christ's righteousness, we must all chose.  You can't hold on to both.  Let us choose Jesus!