What Are We Doing Here At Abundant Life? Serve Part II

Romans 12:3-11.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, June 7, 2020.

Today, we continue talking about the purposes of Christians and the Church, specifically serving Jesus by serving one another.  Two weeks ago, we saw how that service can take on very practical forms and be very humbling: the washing of one another’s feet.  Let’s continue in the Romans 12 passage in order to talk further about the giftings that God gives each of us in order to serve one another.

It is true that all giftings in our life are from God and thus could be called spiritual.  However, some gifts are recognized as especially spiritual.  These include prophecy, speaking in tongues, healing, words of knowledge, among others.

A division within the body of Christ has occurred in which some believe that these spiritual gifts were only for the first century believers in order to start the Church, and others believe that they are active still today.  This division has led to two extremes that are both dangerous.  It is commendable to be careful so that you are not deceived by false teachers, but it can lead to a critical and skeptical spirit that refuses to accept any spiritual gifts as legitimate.  On the other hand, it is commendable to step out in faith and trust God, but it can lead to an extreme gullibility and even lust for things such as: wealth, health, and power.

God’s Word is given to us so that we will have a balance that is informed by His Word and the Holy Spirit.  We should neither fail to use the gifts, nor should we abuse them.  Let’s look at our passage.

Do not be proud and arrogant

In the first two verses of Romans 12, Paul emphasized that the servants of God must not be a people who have conformed to the world, but rather, they must be a people who are transformed by the Spirit of God renewing their minds.  Thus, we need to have our worldview and motivations transformed by God if we are going to serve Him.  We should also recognize that conforming to the world can take on many different flavors, among them are false religion, whether Christian or not.

It is no shock that this area of giftings in the Church is a source of much spiritual good, and yet also much fleshly destruction.  Paul puts his finger on the outward red flag that tells us that conformity rather than transformation is present, and that is pride.  The servant of the Lord must not be proud or arrogant towards other believers, or the world.

Paul uses the phrase “thinking too highly of yourself than you ought.”  He sees the problem of pride as one of crossing a boundary.  There is an obligation or “oughtness” that should restrain us from becoming proud and arrogant as the servants of the Lord.  We are sinners, but he has rescued and saved us.  We had nothing to offer, but he put gifts of grace within our life.  Our fellow brothers and sisters are also servants of the Lord with different gifts of grace in their lives.  Those who have high positions in the Church may look like they have a high position (by the world’s estimation).  However, they aren’t higher, but lower.  Just as Christ lowered himself to the lowest place and became the scapegoat for us all, so leaders are actually servants of God’s people so that they can be equipped and helped to serve the Lord.

Don’t be deceived.  Pride and arrogance are never warranted, and are easy to see in others, but the Spirit of God through the Word of God is able to lay His finger upon any pride that we have and lead us out of its bondage.

Paul then adds the metaphor of sobriety versus drunkenness.  We are to think soberly as God enables us.  This is important because of the parable of Christ that warns his servants not to “beat their fellow servants and drink with the drunkards.”  Matthew 24:45-51.  Pride and arrogance are equivalent to being drunk with the drunkards, that is the people of this world who are unaware of God’s salvation and plunging into sin.  The warning is that they think the Lord is never coming back and then take advantage of their position among His things.

Paul also connects this to the “measure of faith” that God has given to each of us.  It is highly unlikely that he is talking about saving faith here, although God does enable us to have faith for salvation.  Rather, he is talking about the particular capacity to recognize the gifts of grace that He gives us for the general good of his Church, and then the capacity to execute that gift properly.  The areas of recognition and execution are both twisted and perverted by the drunkenness of pride and arrogance.  Just because God has put gifts in your life does not authorize you to misuse them for your own purposes.

In verses 4 and 5, Paul reminds them of two important principles.  The first is that we are each a part of the singular body of Christ.  There is only one body of Christ and we are all apart of that unified whole that is directed by him.  He even takes this further in verse 5 by saying that we are members of each other.  This reminder goes back to the oughtness referenced before.  Harming others for your own benefit is illogical in the context of the body of Christ.  To hurt others is to hurt yourself because you are connected to them and need the gifts of grace that God has put in them, just as they are towards you.

Even though we are all part of one body, we are not gifted and placed in the body of Christ to serve the same function.  God’s gifts are varied by function, and they are varied by the scope of that function.  These differences should never threaten the unity of the body and its ability to function as a whole.  Clearly individuals and large groups of believers have failed in this area.  However, never underestimate the power of the Lord to bless and use those who will humble themselves in this area and step out in faith.  If we quit because others have done poorly then our excuse will not stand before Christ.  Jesus told the apostle Peter after his resurrection, “If you love me then feed my sheep.”  This was not only in the context of Peter’s own failures, but also in the context of the failures of the religious leaders of that day.  We must quit looking at what has happened in the Church.  Instead, we must repent of our own pride and embrace the body of Christ and the functions of grace that God leads you to perform.

Use the gifts that God gives for His purposes

In verses 6-8, we have a difficult part of this passage to bring into English, not because it is hard to understand, but because of the structure of the Greek language.  To bring it into English properly, words have to be added due to the context of what he has said and the subject matter, which is God’s gifts of grace.  Ultimately, Paul is emphasizing that if we have a particular gift of grace then it has been given to us by God to use.  We must use these gifts of grace for God’s purposes and for the good of the body of Christ.  In 1 Corinthians 12:7, Paul tells us that, “the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all.  This is God’s intention and this is exactly how we should use them.

The first gift described is that of prophecy.  Prophecy is a word from God given to an individual for God’s people.  It can be regarding past, present, or future things, and is to be carefully examined by the elders to determine if it is contrary to Scriptures, or whether it is to be retained as truly from the Lord.  Even then, I we must exercise caution in this area.  We should not treat modern prophecy as if it is an addition to the Bible.  God gave the grace of establishing once and for all the faith that we are to believe to those first century apostles.

Prophecy is a heady gift and can easily lead to pride and arrogance in one who is not strongly connected to the Lord and His people.  God can and does speak to every believer in Christ, both through the written word and by His Spirit.  However, He has gifted some individuals to serve as another source of His influence.  Like the prophets of old, they encourage and exhort people in light of the dangers and needs of the present.

Paul basically tells us t hat if God has given us the gift of prophecy then we should do it with the measure of faith that He has given us.  So, God not only supplies the gift, but also supplies the faith to exercise it.  This opens a whole area that we should recognize.  Among people who have the same gifting, there will still be a difference in their sphere of influence or scope of operation.  These things vary in their measure.  No matter the measure of our sphere of influence, it will require bold faith to be exercised.  Stepping out in faith does not come naturally.  It comes by the help of the Spirit of the Lord, and yet we still have to cooperate and step out.  Thus, our measure of faith may be higher than our level of exercise.  Like an athlete discovering the physical limits of their ability, so in spiritual gifts, we must learn to exercise faith to increase our service for the Lord.

Paul then gives us a list of giftings.  It is implied that they also are given with a varied measure of faith.  However, Paul adds the emphasis that we should exercise the gift for the purpose God gave it.  To the degree that He has gifted you with service, then you should give yourself to serving (also, translated as ministry).  To the degree that He has gifted you with teaching, you should give yourself to teaching.  You won’t find the full degree of what He has given you unless you get out there and start being faithful to the little that you do understand today.  We must never see gifts as ours, but as God’s grace put within our life.  I am a steward and must operate in keeping with the One who gave it to me. 

The list continues with exhortation.  This is the same word that is used of the Holy Spirit, the Paraclete.  It involves a whole host of things that are a help to us by coming alongside of us: comfort, correction, encouragement, instruction, etc. (basically everything that could conceivably help us).

In verse 8, another structural change happens in which Paul emphasizes not just doing the gift, but also how we do it.  Those who are gifted with giving should give with a single focus, that is, generously.  Those who are gifted with leading should give themselves to leading with an eager diligence.  Those who are gifted with giving mercy should give mercy with cheerfulness.

In all of this, Paul is describing some of the diversity and variety of God’s gifts within His people.  Other lists and teaching are given in 1 Corinthians 12-14.  Ultimately, the Apostle Peter sums it up in 1 Peter 4:10 when he says, “Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” 

There is much more that can be said on this issue, but I want to end with a final emphasis.  In verse 9, Paul begins a section of biblical instruction that has a rapid-fire, staccato feel, to it.  However, at the root of these instructions is our need to serve one another in love.  The love of God must be the root of our serving.  Anything else is unacceptable to God.  With that said, I find it fitting to end with Paul’s words to the Corinthians.  After explaining the use of spiritual gifts for 30 verses, he then says this.

“But earnestly desire the best gifts.  And yet, I show you a more excellent way.  Though I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I have become sounding brass or a clanging cymbal. 2 And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing.”

This reminds me of the Ken Gulliksen song, Charity.  “If I have not charity, if love does not flow through me, I am nothing.  Jesus reduce me to love.”  Ah, yes, the reduction process.  The difficulties of your life and the struggles that you have with others are all a part of God’s process of trying to reduce you down to His love alone. 

Over the last three months, things have been drastically different, and there appears to be more craziness on the horizon.  Let us remember that the only answer to the chaos of this world is a child of God trusting Him in faith.  We must be a people who are trusting in God and not the voices of this world.  When our hope is only in what God supplies, we will be like a tree planted by the waters, that does not fear when the heat comes, and is not anxious in the year of drought, nor will we cease being fruitful!  (See Jeremiah 17).  God help us to be fruitful trees in these days.

Serve II audio

What Are We Doing At Abundant Life? Grow Part 2

Ephesians 4:8-16.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on May 17, 2020.

There is a lot of water under the bridge when it comes to churches.  Many wonderful things have happened through them, but so have many bad things that were not of Christ.  Christian leaders and individual Christians both need to recognize and appreciate the difficulty that we have today.  It is easy to allow the obvious failures of others to blind us to our own failures.   As we talk about this purpose of spiritual growth, it is clear that Christ intends for each of us to grow individually, but not to grow alone.  He intends for us to be within a community, that is, even more a family.  Thus, leaders who are convinced on this point must be sensitive to the prior point that many people are “shell-shocked” on this issue.  A church does not belong to its leaders, and the role of leaders is not for their own benefit either.  Leaders have to learn to navigate the tension of the importance of a growing connection to Christ and his Church, and the fear people have in being a part of “institutionalized religion.”

On the flip side, if you are one of those shell-shocked people who are afraid of institutionalized religion then please recognize that being a leader is not easy either.  None of us are perfect and we do not lead perfect people.  Church is messy because people are messy, but families stick together.  In a culture that has embraced no-fault divorce and holds marriage in no high regard, it is easy to see how people are afraid to join another family.  Christ is asking you to trust his way.  Find a group of Christians who are serious about following and becoming like Jesus.  It won’t be easy, and it will require repentance, forgiveness, and courage on your part, but God will use it to cause you to grow spiritually.  Don’t settle for anything less because it is what God is going to use to make you, and the local church you attend, to become more like Him.  You won’t grow up to be like the Father if you don’t spend time as a part of His family.

Jesus provides for our spiritual growth

In this passage, the Apostle Paul has described the death and resurrection of Jesus.  In verse 8, he says that, when Christ ascended on high (that is, into heaven), he gave gifts to men.  This sets up a whole teaching on why we have leaders and the purpose that Jesus has in giving leaders to his Church.

Yet, we must not read this passage and only focus on what the gifts are.  We must also emphasize the purpose for these gifts, and that purpose is the spiritual growth of all who believe in Jesus.  Jesus has made provision and is still making provision today for our spiritual growth.

There are many things that we can say Jesus has given to the Church, but here Paul is emphasizing different leadership roles in the early Church.  It is interesting that he does not mention Bishops and Elders here.  I don’t think that we should read too much into that because elsewhere Paul makes it clear that they are valid and helpful leadership roles.  Perhaps, he sees them as redundant in regards to the ones listed here in Ephesians 4.

We are told that Jesus gave some apostles, some prophets, some evangelists, and some pastors and teachers to the fledgling Church he had begun.  These roles should not be separated from the individuals who perform them.  If a person who has not been sent by Christ is given one of these roles then it can be damaging to the Church.  Also, a person who Jesus does call to fill one of these roles must continually remind themselves of the purpose that he intends them to fulfill.

Let’s take a quick look at each of these leadership roles and how they benefit believers.

An apostle is a reference to those first century individuals who witnessed the ministry of Jesus and his resurrection.  They were to be the foundational witnesses of what he did and taught to the world.  They often functioned in every level of leadership since they took the Gospel into new areas, preached to the lost, raised up churches from those saved, and nurtured them through teaching and oversight.  They are also described as prophets of God.  They laid down the faith that believers are called to believe and live out.  The New Testament is the record of what they taught.  In this sense, we don’t have apostles like this today, though we may recognize that some today have an apostolic-like ministry because they have influence and authority over multiple groups of believers, and are used of God to take the Gospel into new areas.  Yet, they are not authorized to establish new doctrine that the church is to believe and follow.  This was laid down once and for all by the apostles of Christ (Jude 1:3).

So, how were the apostles a gift to the Church?  They gave a sure and proven foundation of the content of our faith and the purpose of God in Christ.  The fact that this was written down was most often due to people who had different ideas.  Anyone, who has gone online to search for the “truth” on a biblical concept, knows how hard it can be to know who to trust, not to mention that there are umpteen million ideas.  Who can we trust?  Jesus took care of that concern right off the bat by spending 3 years of his life with the original apostles.  Even Paul recognized that he was an oddity as an apostle.  Yet, his writings and ministry were approved by the original apostles, excluding Judas.  We have something solid that we can use through the centuries to measure what all leaders teach and do.  No leader in God’s Church is ever intended to be outside of this.  Even if you are in a group that has let leaders add doctrine to the original, you have the ability to compare what they teach to the Scriptures themselves.  Thus, the written record of the apostles serves as a corrective device for those who seek God.  In fact, Paul stated in Galatians 1:8, “Even if we, or an angel from heaven, preach any other gospel to you than what we have preached to you, let him be accursed.”  In an age of confusion and spiritual pretenders, it is refreshing to know that a new believer can pick up a Bible and be in direct contact with the pure teaching of the apostles of Jesus.

Let’s move to prophets.  Prophets are those who God uses to speak to the Church regarding specific issues.  They can be past, present, or future things, and their prophecies must always be judged by the leaders and elders of the assembly through a prayerful comparison to God’s Word.  This gifting of some to hear from the Lord is a help to the group as a whole, even though it can be abused by individuals who are not sent by God.  The answer here should not be of fear, but mature respect for the gifts of Christ.

Evangelists are those who were not apostles, and yet had a calling to spread the Good News of Jesus.  They would travel from city to city, encouraging the believers, and calling the lost to salvation.  This is a benefit to believers because even leaders can have tunnel vision.  From time to time, God will send a person from outside the local church to speak a word that shakes us out of lethargy and complacency.

Lastly, pastors and teachers are actually two sides of the same coin.  The language in the Greek gives good reason to think that Paul is presenting these as speaking about one position.  They are the hands-on leadership within every local assembly, watching over the souls of each member and exhorting believers to follow Christ.  As long as pastors remember that they too are sheep who belong to Jesus, they can be a great benefit to those who are helped by their instructions and prayers.

In verse 12, Paul moves from the gift itself to the purpose for the gift.  Leaders must never forget what their job is.  The Church does not belong to them, but to Jesus.  All leadership is supposed to be equipping the Church for the work of ministry, or service.  Part of my growth is to rightly listen to leaders and to learn from them so that I can better serve Christ.  Yet, I must be equipped to serve.  We are equipped with the truth of the Word of God because it helps us to know what serving God looks like.  We are equipped with a presentation of the wisdom and help of the Holy Spirit, which teaches us how to rely upon that same Holy Spirit.  We are given guidance and corrections in love.  Thus, in Christ, we have everything we need to serve him today, and yet we all need to grow in faith and skill so that we can serve him better.  A prayer we should always be praying is this.  Lord, help me to know what ways you want me to serve your purposes.

Leaders should also equip believers so that they can build up the body of Christ.  The body of Christ is an image that sees believers as an extension of Jesus.  He is the head who resides in heaven.  All instructions and directions are ultimately from him.  However, each individual cell is connected to the life of the body so that we can work together for the functions that Christ wants.  The body of Christ can be anemic, diseased, and even dead, if we are not careful in these areas.  Leaders who have lost their way can be detrimental to a particular body of believers.  The key is to recognize that Jesus intends for you to grow in relation to other believers so that his body may be strengthened in order to do his purposes.  You need other believers, companions, brothers and sisters, who are also trusting Jesus, and they need you.  This is a strength that both keeps us going, and makes our work more effective.

The goal of all of this equipping is a unity of the faith, and a unity of the knowledge of Jesus.  Goal may not be the proper word.  However, we must recognize that even the things we do for Jesus are not the end goal in and of themselves.  When we are equipped for serving Christ and strengthening the body of believers, then we can achieve a unity of the faith, which refers to the things that we believe and trust about God.  The Church is not intended to be divided on the foundational teachings of the apostles.  However, through the years, individuals who were proud and full of themselves have pressed their views to the point of fracturing the Church.  The point is not that we all should believe all the same things, but that we all hold to the faith that was once and for all delivered to the saints.  It is no difficult thing to determine what the apostles of Christ taught.  It is this we are to unify around, not the additions of others who came later.  Large parts of the Church have cast off the restraints (or better, the protection) of Scripture and have co-opted the Church for the purposes that are not of Christ.  We can never be unified with that, but within our group, we can work for a unity of the essentials of the Gospel.

The unity of the knowledge of Jesus is just as important.  Most cults that have come into existence have done so because they refused to accept the revelation of Scripture regarding just who Jesus was.  Some make him out to be an angel, or a created being.  Others make him out to be a spiritual master who is just one among many.  In 2 Corinthians 11:4, Paul called this “another Jesus.”

“For if he who comes preaches another Jesus whom we have not preached, or if you receive a different spirit which you have not received, or a different gospel which you have not accepted—you may well put up with it!” (NKJV)

We are jumping in mid-stream, but Paul is concerned that the Corinthians might listen to ideas about Jesus that are not what they were taught by the apostles who were confirmed by Jesus.  False apostles promote false ideas about Jesus and lead many astray from the true Gospel.

Another way of talking about unity is spiritual maturity.  Verses 14 to 16 bring Paul’s point home.  The whole goal of these gifts is the spiritual maturity of God’s children.  He is bringing us as spiritual infants into His family and then helping us to grow until we become adult Sons of God who can step into the New Heavens and the New Earth by His side.

A person who is spiritually mature is not easily moved by every doctrine that comes along (vs. 14).  Little kids are easily deceived and manipulated.  Imagine a person who comes to faith in Jesus, but never connects to a good group of believers.  They might use the internet to search for the answers to every question that they have.  What will they find?  They will find a sea of confusion blown about by every idea and teaching under the sun.  As much as we may want to believe that God’s Spirit can help us to navigate these waters on our own, that is precisely the point that I am making.  The Spirit is the One who has made it clear to us that our safety partly comes from being in a good, Bible-teaching group.  We cannot ignore that and remain safe by some mystical connection to the Spirit of God.  At that point, we are fooling ourselves. 

Just as God uses individuals to help you embrace the Word of God, so the devil uses individuals to try and separate you from the healthy truth.  There are many who have a flicker of spiritual life.  They want to follow Christ, but are not sure how to proceed.  They exist like a homeless child living outside and exposed to the elements.  Christ desires something much better for you, a spiritual home where you can be cared for, encouraged, and where you can spiritually thrive.

Verse 15 mentions growing up into Christ, which is a great analogy.  Don’t get stuck on how far short of being like Jesus you are.  The real point is this.  Am I growing to look more like him each day?  That might be hard to analyze on a daily basis, but it must be our continual prayer.  Growth is not separate from connection to Christ, but rather an extension of it.  True connection to Jesus allows living truth to flow into my life, and that growth makes me more like Jesus.  It also strengthens my connection to Christ.  May our connection to Christ ever grow stronger.

Jesus is working through all people in his Church to build it up in love.  Verse 16 ends with the analogy of the body of Christ.  Paul sees each part “joined and knit together,” like a family.  We are joined and knit together when we respond to the Spirit of God and learn to love and forgive one another.  We are joined and knit together as we do life together.  Covid-19 is just one example of the kind of things that crop up in the life of a church and require us to grow and bond with one another.  Bonding comes from shared crises and learning to work through them together (not perfection). 

Paul also sees each part “doing its share.”  That share involves spiritual things, but also very practical things.  Instead of seeking for the applause of one another and getting to be something big, we simply need to let Jesus teach us how to do our part.  Lord, help me to do my part in your Church today, so that it may be built up in your love and strengthened for the days that we live in.  In short, help us to grow to be like you!

Grow part 2 audio

Marriage & Divorce

Mark 10:1-12.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Sunday, February 09, 2020.

In our country, divorce and remarriage have become increasingly easier and acceptable.  Of course, I am not implying that divorce is emotionally and psychologically easy upon those who do it.  For every situation where this is a good thing (like in the case of physical abuse), there are countless others that are simply because the couple no longer love each other. 

In first century, AD Israel, there were some similar dynamics that had led to some rabbis having a very strict teaching regarding divorce and other rabbis having a very loose teaching on it.

I would encourage you today to receive this message as an attempt to clarify rather than to condemn people.  It is important for us to understand the issues clearly so that we are not adding to the overall confusion that exists in our country.  Confusion such that people who are married and not divorced yet are already committing adultery with another person.  Confusion such that people treat a casual sexual affair as if it is just a regular maintenance of a marriage that has lost any sense of true love. 

God wants us to have clarity about His purpose for marriage so that we will work towards it.  Yet, there are times when marriages fail because of the hardness of our hearts.  Regardless of your experience in this area, let’s talk about God’s desire for our marriages and how we can turn our hearts in the right direction.

Is it lawful to divorce your spouse?

A parallel account of this passage can be found in Matthew 19:1-10.  It shows us that there are some subtle details left out of Mark’s version.  In Matthew, we see that the question above is even more specific.  “Is it lawful to divorce your spouse for just any reason?”

There is some necessary background to this question.  At the time in Israel, there were two theological schools of thought on the issue of divorce.  Rabbi Shammai had a strict interpretation and taught that it was only permissible in the case of sexual immorality, i.e. infidelity.  Rabbi Hillel had a looser interpretation and taught that it was permissible for almost any reason.  In fact, it was common in this second group to say that if a man had a “bad wife,” it was his duty to divorce her.  We will come back to these conflicting interpretations of the Law of Moses, but for now let’s just recognize that the debate existed and affected many lives.

On top of this general debate, we also have a very public situation between the wife of Herod Philip and his brother Herod Antipas, which John the Baptist had openly condemned as unlawful.  Lust was at the heart of this divorce and remarriage.

We have a similar situation today where some Bible teachers teach that divorce is always wrong in every case (i.e. Christians are to be more righteous than the Pharisees) and others who are very lax to the point that divorce is no big deal before God (i.e. it is forgiven under the blood of Christ so you can do it if you want).  As we work through this passage, we will try to pull out some timeless truths so that we can better know how to please God in our day and age.

Now that we understand the question, let’s look at the response of Jesus.  Jesus may appear to be avoiding the question, but such is not the case.  Rather, he is making them work through the issue.  Just what does Moses command?  The key word in this question is “command.”  When it comes to divorce, what are the commands of the Law of Moses?  The Pharisees respond by changing the verb from “command” to “permit.”  This underlines something important.  When a divorce occurs, some tend to see it as an unfortunate, but necessary solution to their problem.  However, we should never kid ourselves how God sees it.  Divorce is always the failure of accomplishing the will and purpose of God for marriage.  It is not the solving of a problem, but rather the walking away from a problem that God desires you to work through.  Yes, it is more nuanced than that, but this is a bedrock truth from Scripture.  God hates divorce, period!  The Law of Moses never commanded anyone to divorce another even in cases of sexual immorality.  It only permitted it.

Second of all, Jesus points out why it was permitted.  It was permitted “because your hearts were hard.”  Now, there are different reasons why something may be permitted.  The permitted thing can be a good thing that simply needs to be regulated, for example, you may give a child permission to have another cookie.  However, the permitted thing can be a bad thing that becomes a lesser of two evils, which is clearly the case here.  Divorce is not a good thing.  It is something to be avoided at drastic cost to both parties in the marriage.

In cases today where both parties amiably agree and get along afterward (i.e. the “best-case scenario”), they have still hardened their hearts towards working out their differences with one another.  The hard heart may be on the part of one spouse, or both, but it is the salient point.

God has a purpose in marriage that we are going to talk about in a second.  Yet, people’s hearts can become hard towards one another and towards God’s purpose for their marriage.  It is not God’s intention to have people trapped in a marriage that is failing to accomplish his purposes.  However, many people feel trapped in a marriage because their hearts are in the wrong place.  They are living for themselves and their own fleshly desires instead of living for God.  They are looking to the hills for something better instead of weeding the garden of their own marriage.  Thus, divorce occurs when one spouse or both become hard-hearted towards the other and towards God.

Believers in Jesus should not be as concerned about lawfulness as we should be concerned about the plan and purpose of God.  In verses 6-9, Jesus takes the Pharisees back to the beginning of the book of Genesis and he reminds them of God’s purpose in the Garden.

God had made them “male and female.”  Marriage was designed by God for one man and one woman as was seen in the original couple, Adam and Eve.  Secondly, it is to be a union of a new family before God (Genesis 2:24).  This union involves the leaving of their parents and a joining to each other.  The word “joining” has the idea of being glued together.  The phrase “one flesh” becomes more than a physical description of sex, but rather something far greater with emotional, relational, and social implications.  They become a unity that is difficult to separate without tearing parts of the other away.  They are to be a new unity within society, a oneness.

Once a marriage begins, there is no question what God’s will is.  He wants us to work in order to be a unified couple.  Marriage is the holy ground upon which we are challenged in what it means to love another person.  It becomes that wrestling place in which we either mature and become something greater, or we remain immature and become something lesser.

Jesus then ends with what sounds like a categorical prohibition of divorce.  “What God has joined let not man separate.”  The Greeks had two words for “not.”  One of them is a categorical negation.  However, the one used here is the negation of the idea.  Thus, the meaning is something like this.  God has joined you together and wants you to be unified.  Therefore, you should not be working towards something that goes against it.  At this point, you can hear the protestations.  “But, he will never change!” Or, “She doesn’t love me like she used to do!”  Yes, those are no doubt the realities on the ground, but God is asking you to learn to love them, to learn who they are, and to learn how to become one with them.  So, are the things that I am doing in my marriage contributing to emotional separation, or are they helping to draw us closer?  Of course, this is not about a “perfect marriage” in which neither spouse ever does anything that stirs up emotional separation.  This is about learning to love, which involves repentance and forgiveness among each other.  If you have never repented of mistakes you made, and you have never forgiven your spouse for their faults, then you aren’t being real with each other.  As long as the endorphins of sexual desire are still pumping, we ignore all manner of sins, but sooner or later, we will come down to earth and realize that it takes work, repentance, and forgiveness, in order to have a “perfect marriage.”  Yes, the perfect marriage is one that trusts God’s purposes by living out repentance and forgiveness every day.

Jesus gives further clarification on divorce

In verses 10-12, we are told that the next discussion takes place later between Jesus and his disciples.  They are asking for further clarification on this matter.  Here, Jesus basically tells his disciples that those who divorce and remarry are committing adultery.    Matthew 19:9 adds the phrase, “except for sexual immorality.”  I do not believe that Jesus is trying to say that Moses made a mistake and that he is now correcting it.  He is not saying that previously God let Israel sin, but now it is time to throw off this antiquated law.  Rather, Jesus is teaching them the true interpretation of what the Law intended all along.  Deuteronomy 24:1 lays out how divorce should be done, and it has the phrase “because he has found some uncleanness in her.”  The rabbis’ debate centered upon what constituted uncleanness.  Jesus is stating that it meant sexual immorality, not burning dinner, or getting wrinkles.  He is giving them a warning that ties back into the original question.  If you divorce your spouse, for just any reason (i.e. other than sexual immorality), then you are committing adultery when you remarry. 

The key here is this question.  Does God recognize legitimate grounds for divorce?  It is clear that an unfaithful partner is legitimate grounds in God’s eyes.  If you divorce an unfaithful spouse and remarry then it would not be adultery.  Yet, neither does he command you to divorce.

The Apostle Paul in 1 Corinthians 7:15 talks about the situation when an unbelieving spouse wants a divorce.  In a sense, they are wanting to abandon the marriage.  Paul states, “but if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or sister is not under bondage in such cases.  But God has called us to peace.”  The phrase “not under bondage” seems to imply to a moral obligation not to divorce.  He is easing the conscience of those who do not want to divorce, but their spouse is abandoning the marriage.  It seems clear from the passage that Paul would counsel them to remain single.  However, if they are no longer “under bondage” does that also mean they are free to marry?  Some teachers believe so.  They would say that the spouse who abandons the marriage would be committing adultery to remarry, but the spouse who was abandoned is free to remarry.

The Bible does not give any directive on the issue of physical abuse.  However, even more so, we could bring up the issue of God not wanting to chain people in bondage, but rather for them to have peace.  God does not demand a woman to remain in a marriage where she is being physically abused.  God recognizes that there are times when the hardness of a spouse may put you in a situation where there is nothing left to do but to admit that the marriage has failed, or even died.  This does not remove the greater purpose.  As much as is possible with me, I should be working with God to heal the marriage and grow, not working to tear it apart.  If a marriage fails then let it be over the top of my sacrificial attempts to make it work because God intends marriage to be for life.

What do I do if I have failed in this area?  What if my current marriage fits the description of Jesus and is technically adultery?  Like Adam and Eve, we cannot go back into Paradise and Innocence.  We must repent before God, draw a line in the sand, and determine to work with God to help the marriage that we have today to become what He wants it to be.  We have to carry the burden of past decisions, and the effects that they have had on us, and move forward towards the healing that only God can bring.  Only He can take that which is not holy and make it holy.  May God help us to soften our hearts towards him and our spouse, and learn to love like He loves, sacrificially and to the end.

Marriage & Divorce Audio

A Woman Who Follows Jesus

Philippians 2:1-4.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on Mother’s Day Sunday, 5/14/2017.

There are many voices today that promise women a better life by offering some philosophy or way of approaching life.  However, most of them are various ideas that come from the same source, the spirit of this age.  So women have a choice they can listen to the spirit of this age and go after the things that it promises by the ways it promotes (self fulfillment, self love, self adulation), or they can listen to the Spirit of God calling to them, “Save yourselves from this wicked and perverse generation!”

It is important to recognize that women have had a tough road throughout history.  Too often, men are guilty of not recognizing this and not loving women as we should.  So women need encouragement.  Yet, like any of us, they also need challenged.  Women are not inherently drawn to do things right.  They have the same battles with the sin nature as men do.  I believe our passage today has a good balance of encouragement and yet also challenge for God’s people, including women.  In fact, this is a hallmark of the Bible.  On one hand it recognizes our weakness and does much to give us encouragement and comfort.  Yet, on the other hand, it also recognizes our spiritual lethargy and does much to wake us up and get up headed on the right path.  Let’s look at our passage today.

She has much in Christ

In this passage Paul is trying to encourage Christians to have unity.  But he starts with a series of things that we all have in Jesus.  He uses a grammatical device of a series of conditionals.  These are intended to remind them of the fact that each of these conditionals is understood to be rhetorical.  Of course we who are Christians have all of these things.  There is no “if” about it.  This is going to be critical later.  But just understand that Paul is highlighting our relationship with Jesus.  We have everything that we need in this world without having to clamor and strive against others to get it because of our relationship with Jesus.  Christians are called to quit looking to the world for fulfillment and start receiving from Jesus all he has for us.  So what do we have in him?

The first “if” is consolation in Christ.  This word may give you the idea of a consolation prize.  Who wants that?  The word has the idea of calling someone to your side in order to speak to them.  Thus it is generally connected to some kind of help, encouragement, comfort, or even advice.  In Jesus we have this relationship in which the God of heaven calls us to His side and He speaks into our life those things that we need to hear.  You could say that the “if” statement does more than remind.  It can also be a testing question operating in such a way as to question.  Are you receiving this from Jesus or are you blocking his words into your life?  There is no question that it is available and at work in the life of a Christian, but sometimes we are not so cooperative with the Spirit of God.

The next “if” is comfort of love.  It is still understood to be “in Christ.”  The comfort of God’s love for us, especially through the person and work of Jesus, is immense.  When one thinks about how Jesus died for us while we were yet sinners, it leaves one with a powerful sense of God’s love for them.  However, the love of Christ also comes to us through other Christians who are also cooperating with God’s design to love others.  In fact, everything that we see around us becomes a testimony of the love of God intended to help us.  We are swimming in His provision and grace.  What a comfort that gives to our hearts, “if” we are seeing it and resting in it.

Next we are reminded of the fellowship of the Spirit.  “Fellowship” refers to the emotional bond that we have with other Christians by the Holy Spirit.  It starts with an inner relationship with the Holy Spirit.  He speaks to us and teaches us to follow Jesus.  When we connect with other believers who are doing the same thing, we have a powerful, shared experience of listening to the Holy Spirit.  This shared experience of learning to trust the Lord gives us a bond that is more than emotional; it is even spiritual.  When we connect with others of “like Spirit,” we have fellowship with them.  This also refers to the common lot, and common place that we have in this group we call Christians.  We have dropped away from the spirit of this world and taken our place among those who are following Jesus through the Holy Spirit. 

Lastly we are reminded of the affection and mercy of Christ.  Affection is a reference to the knowledge that God deeply cares about us, which leads to his compassionate mercy towards us.  His emotions have and do lead to actions of mercy in our life.

In all of these things there is a direct reception of them from Christ spiritually.  However, there is also an indirect reception of them through those who belong to Christ.  Granted, this is received imperfectly because it is flowing through imperfect people to a person who imperfectly receives.  That is why Paul is writing this letter.   Think about how often we wonder why God is “holding out on us,” (insert thing you want here).  Yet, at the same time He is daily pouring out such wonderful treasures upon us, directly and indirectly.  The real question is this.  Are you taking time to open yourself up to Jesus and when you do are you receiving it or are you pushing it away?  It is when we are filled with what Jesus has for us that we are enabled to get along with others, and this is directly where Paul wants to go with this.

She can have much with others also

If we have all this stuff from Jesus then it should be possible for us to be unified with other believers.  Our relationships become better because we no longer seek to satisfy ourselves by them.  Instead we are fulfilled by the vast and amazing grace that Jesus pours out upon us daily.  Before we talk about our relationship with other believers, it is important to recognize that this applies to our relationship with unbelievers, too.  Instead of needing something from them, we can love them fully and without selfish ambition because we have all that we need from Jesus.  Yet, having all that we need in Christ can never mean that we disconnect from others and become apathetic towards them.  It is Jesus himself who whispers in our ear, “Love them with my love.  Regardless of how difficult it may be, show them who I am.”

In our passage Paul points, in verse 2, to the need for believers to get along and to have a unity of heart, mind and soul.  Think of it.  We can have unity because we are no longer looking at each other as some kind of payday.  Jesus is our source.  Yes, he may use others.  But it is not dependent upon them.  His list in verse 2 goes through three aspects of our inner being that need to be unified with other believers.  He mentions the mind twice.  Love is generally connected to the heart.  And the word translated “one accord” in the NKJV literally means “same-souled (inner life).”  Now, the world recognizes the power of unity.  It has its own attempt at unity which usually employs a kind of dog-eat-dog system in order to see whose mind, heart, and soul gets to dominate the group.  But this is not the way of Christ.  You see, Paul wants us to have unity around the mind, heart, and soul of Jesus Christ.  It is his mind that should instruct us and lead us.  As we each surrender to Jesus, we are enabled to have unity with one another and Christ’s love can flow through us to each other.

So, what are the things that typically get in the way of Christians having unity?  Verse 3 tells us to put away selfish ambition and conceit.  When we adopt such attitudes and vices, they destroy our unity.  The word translated “selfish ambition” is actually one word.  It was used by the Greeks for those whose political electioneering was underhanded and marked by unfair means.  Such a person was willing to do anything in order to get ahead, to get what they wanted.  Now the word for “conceit” is a compound word that has the idea of vain glory, or empty pride.  Such pride is empty because it has nothing to offer others.  It is always selfish and sucks the life out of everyone that it touches.  A good metaphor would be a dark, rain cloud.  A farmer who is longing for rain is excited when they see a rain cloud.  Imagine that the cloud works very hard at looking like a good rain cloud, but in the end it sails on past and only sucks up more moisture.  Such are those who are conceited.  They work hard at looking good, but they are only good for themselves.  In fact, they are not even that.  One day they will approach their death bed and how empty they will be on that day.  They will look back with sorrow on all the relationships that they sucked the life out of, like some kind of vampiric beast.  They will be left empty in the end.  And, standing before God one day, they will be empty of anything to avoid their fate.  If we want true unity of the Holy Spirit, then we have to reject the voices and the spirit of this age, which incessantly stir up angst within us, calling us to selfish ambition and conceit.  So if these should be avoided, then what should we embrace?

The second half of verse 3 and all of verse 4 point us to the need for a humble opinion of ourselves and the need to esteem others above ourselves.  When we walk into a room our sinful nature seeks to find those ways in which we are better than others.  We tend towards an inflated view of self that affects our relationships.  So what does it mean to esteem others above self?  I don’t think it means to put yourself down in the sense of hating yourself and thinking that you have nothing to offer.  Rather, it is when we see all the ways that others are better than us.  In the world this is a threat.  But in Christ it is part of His grace to us.  Yes, we want Him to put all wisdom within us.  But in the end He scatters His gifts of wisdom, and yet for each of our benefit.  Even then we need to get to such a lowly place precisely because that is the place we need to get to if we are going to actually help others.  You cannot help others full of yourself.  God will bless you through others.  But that is not to be your focus.  Your focus is to be on Jesus and receiving from Him what you can then turn and give to others.

So ladies, and guys too, who are you following?  The next time you find yourself annoyed with someone and fighting with them over something, take time to stop and think.  What do I think I lack, and why do I think this person can give it to me?  Lord, forgive us for making others our source, for looking to others in the way that we should only look to you.  Lord, help us to walk in unity with other believers so that the world might see and know that you are a glorious savior.

A Woman who follows Jesus audio