The Most Excellent Way

Romans 12:9-10.  This sermon was preached by Pastor Marty Bonner on February 7, 2021.

In Mark 12:29-31, Jesus gave us the two greatest commandments, which are really two sides of the same coin.  We are to love God with all of our being (heart, soul, mind, and strength), and we are to love our neighbor as ourselves.  Later, Jesus modified this second command among his disciples.  “Love one another, as I have loved you.”  That is quite the qualifier.  It is one thing to love one another as we think we should, but to love in the way Jesus did would be to love sacrificially and selflessly.

I say that these two commands are two sides of the same coin because the Apostle John challenges us in his first letter with this.  How can you say you love God, whom you haven’t seen, when you can’t even love your brother, whom you have?  Yes, it is easy to give lip service to loving God because he is not physically on this earth.  It is more difficult to test.  In fact, shouldn’t we see the second command as the litmus test of whether or not we truly love God?  I think so.

Let’s remind ourselves today to strengthen this duty that we have to love one another, the duty to love.

We are to love without hypocrisy

The command to love one anther is simple enough, but throughout Scripture, we are given qualifiers from time to time.  In Romans 12:9, it is qualified with a negative phrase, “without hypocrisy.”  Some translations have chosen to emphasize the positive implication of this phrase.  NIV says, “Love must be sincere.”  ESV says, “Let love be genuine.”  The NLT attempts to put both the negative phrase and its positive implication together.  “Don’t just pretend to love others.  Really love them.”

The reason that we need these qualifiers is because the actions of people do not always match up with their words.  There is an irony in our country today that, while we talk more and more of loving each other and being united, we are seeing more and more anger and hatred.  This is not a new thing.  There have always been those who said they were loving, but in the end they were not.  They weren’t sincere, or genuine.  In short, they were hypocrites.

The word hypocrisy, that we are not supposed to mix in with our loving of one another, was a word that came from acting in plays.  The New Testament writers took the word and used it to refer the moral evil of a person merely acting as if they are doing good.  Such people were wearing the acting mask of love, but behind that external mask, there were unloving motivations.

Acting is a powerful medium for getting a message across when people know that it is an act.  It helps us to think about the same situation as a group.  Of course, it can be manipulated to try and pressure the group to think certain things, which is itself a form of hypocrisy.  It pretends to open up discussion on a situation, but in truth is trying to force all to think the same. 

Let’s just say the obvious.  Christians are not called to make an amazing movie about love, whether on a screen or in our lives.  We are to be doing it, for real.  In other words, we are to live a life of love that is worthy of a movie, not to give a performance that people are willing to watch.  It is the difference between being an actor and being the real thing.  If Hollywood stars are any measure of actors, we know that actors are often empty of the good things that they portray, or at least fall very short of it.

Wearing masks with one another and having a superficial love is not God’s plan, and we need the help of the Holy Spirit to be brave enough to take them off.  Warning- when you try to take of masks, those who are still wearing them will be uncomfortable with it (even you will be uncomfortable with it).

Paul then describes what hypocrisy-free love looks like with two verbal phrases.  The first is “abhor that which is bad.”  While we love one another, we should be abhorring, or detesting, that which is evil.  Paul chooses a strong word here.  Christians are not to treat moral evil lightly.  In 1 Corinthians 13, Paul also writes, “love does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth.”

Moral evil is defined throughout Scriptures, and it is all those negative vices and activities that God warns against, of which hypocrisy is just one.  This is not just an instruction for me about the other person and their sin.  Rather, it starts with me.  I must detest and shrink back from the tendency to be insincere, or any other moral evil, in my “love.”  I must fight the internal battle of keeping my heart pure towards God and my fellow man.

Of course, when loving others, we will have to face their imperfections and sinful tendencies (and they ours).  Love never means coddling that which is evil.  Our society likes to pick and choose who it loves and what evil is protected.  This must never be among Christians, those who say that they are following Christ, rather than our culture. 

An example of this has to do with public advice that is often given to people in difficult situations.  A case in point is a letter that was written to Dear Abbey.  A mother’s adult daughter, who had been raised to be a Christian, had embraced homosexuality.  The mom was struggling with what it means to continue to love her daughter when she was embracing something that was morally evil (by Christ’s definition).  Dear Abbey’s advice was a surrender to cultural influence in which she was counselled to embrace her daughter and the homosexual lifestyle she was living.  Ultimately, our hearts can be pulled into evil even out of a misguided love.  Loving someone in this situation is something Christians should do, but not in a way that embraces the harmful choices of the individual.  I know that this is 180 degrees the opposite of today’s “wisdom,” but we are followers of Jesus, not today’s culture (or are we?).

The second verbal phrase is the positive implication of the previous.  We must love while holding fast, or clinging, to that which is good.  Most people tend to one side or the other.  We can focus only on detesting evil, and it becomes an excuse to disregard and ignore people who God loves.  On the other hand, we can focus only on clinging to what is good, and ignore the moral evil that is piling up around us.  Christians are called to the hard road of truly loving others, as Jesus loved us.  It is hypocrisy to say that we love someone, but then not really face sin in our life or theirs.  It is hypocrisy to call this love, or to pretend that love calls us to overlook sin, or at least redefine it.  It is also hypocrisy to write someone off because of their sins and failures, and not try to lift that which is good.

This tension is mentioned by Paul in Galatians 6:1, “Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently.  But watch yourselves, or you may also be tempted.”  Jude mentions this tension in verses 22 and 23 of his letter.  “Be merciful to those who are doubting; but others save with fear, pulling them out of the fire, hating even the garment defiled by flesh.”  Even a person who is so destroyed by sin that they are essentially being thrown into the fire of destruction, we are to attempt to save, yet being careful not to be caught up in their sin.  This is a love that is tough on the person doing it and tough on the person receiving it.  However, it is only truth that can set you free.  Fake love helps no one, period.

We are to love as family

Another qualifier is given for our love in verse 10 of Romans 12.  We must love each other with the love that we would have for family members.  Christians are called the “household of faith,” “the children of God,” and we are destined to be the adult Sons and Daughters of God in eternity.  It is not that we pretend that the other is family.  In Christ, we actually are.  Paul uses two words that refer to this family love.  “Brotherly love” is the obvious one.  However, the “kindly affectioned” phrase is actually a word that speaks of the love between parents and children.

Our biological families are a microcosm of the larger family of God that we join when we become followers of Christ.  Even our local church is simply a microcosm of the larger family of God worldwide, and history-wide.  Like Israel coming out of Egypt, we are a part of a large nation of very different people who all will inherit form the same Father, who loves us all.  It is easy to forget that we are family in Christ, and that our Father wants us to learn to get along and love each other.  This is not a suggestion, or something that we can work on when everything else is done.  It is the litmus test of our love for God.  “Do you love me?  Then, feed my sheep,” aka, love my children.

Lastly, Paul speaks of humbly honoring others.  Sibling rivalry, or just family squabbles, are destined to happen because none of us are perfect yet.  Even those who are spiritual elders are not perfected yet.  It is easy to chafe at other believers, like siblings, and it is easy to have tensions between spiritual elders and young believers.  These things are a natural part of being family.  However, we are to work on them with the kind of attitude that takes the lead in honoring the other.  The NKJV translates, “preferring one another.”  This misses the mark in my opinion.  The word being translated has the concept of going ahead of others in this area of honoring.  The clash is that our tendency is to honor ourselves and “go ahead” by pushing ourselves above others.  If we are to “go ahead of others,” it is not to be in honoring ourselves, but in honoring them.

Honor has to do with value and worth.  We love what has value and worth to us, and yet, in our imperfection, we often value things that we shouldn’t and disvalue, dishonor, what we shouldn’t.  Believers have a value to one another that isn’t always understood by us because we get wrapped up in the thinking of our age.  Instead of seeing one another through God’s yes, and through His purposes, we can only see through the world’s eyes and its purposes, or our own selfish purposes.  The challenge to love in today’s atmosphere is only becoming more difficult.  This cannot be used as an excuse.  There are attempts from the culture to polarize and divide God’s people.  May God help us to resist these blatant attacks on God’s Church, and to remain in fellowship with the Spirit of God and His people.

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