Same-Sex Marriage? The Heterosexual-Marriage Mess
Pastor Marty Tuesday, October 9, 2012 at 4:04PM Across America the cultural battle has moved beyond the propriety of homosexuality and onto the equality of its relationships to those of heterosexuals. Here in Washington State our outgoing-governor solicited such a bill that eventually passed and signed into law. However, a referendum (R-74) is currently on the ballot in November. Historically, when given the right to vote on this matter, people have rejected equating such civil unions to marriage. One of the arguments that come from those in favor of this law is that “heteros” haven’t done so well with marriage themselves. Thus a redefinition isn’t going to hurt marriage.
I wanted to deal with this issue first because I think that is the biblical way. We must face the problems in ourselves before we can help others understand their problems. It is very true that, not just heterosexuals but even Christian heterosexuals have made a mess of the marriage scene. In fact this is nothing new. Jesus confronted the religious leaders of his day over their own sexual sin. So I think it will be good to start with a look at Matthew 19:3-10 and challenge Christians first.
We Have Made A Mess Of Marriage
Every generation has its own failures in adhering to God’s Word and we need to own them. Seventy years ago we would have never expected to be talking about same-sex marriage, but here we are. Instead of pointing to the advocates of this as if they are strange, let us recognize that in our own day and age we fought against God’s plan as well. Let’s go to the Bible.
This section starts out with a religious and ethical question from the religious leaders we know as the Pharisees. The question was simply this: Is it lawful (permitted) for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason? Now notice the main issue is not so much divorce, but the acceptable reasons for it. There was a debate in their day with some having a very restricted view of divorce (only in the case of sexual sin) and others whose view was quite lax (she is a bad cook, or is getting old). We are not told what their motivation is, but they clearly want to hear what Jesus says on the subject, most likely looking for polemical ammunition.
Jesus responds by first reminding them where marriage came from. God created marriage when he first created Adam and then made a woman for him. Jesus quotes from Genesis where it says that a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife and the two shall become one-flesh. He gives a masterful conclusion based on the biblical facts. People should not be separating what God has put together. How simple is that? It is a religious no-brainer. God’s purpose in marriage is for them to be joined together in a one-flesh relationship. This is more than physical. It is emotional and spiritual as well. In fact notice God is active in this purpose. It is God who joins man and woman. He is spiritually involved in this event that begins at marriage. Thus those pursuing divorce are doing so in opposition to the plan and activity of God.
I’m sure all kinds of “wait a minute…” questions come into your mind. Well guess what, the Pharisees had some too. They expected Jesus to walk through all the exceptions. But Jesus takes them to the heart of the matter. Before he gets into exceptions, he first lays down the primary principle. Marriage is God’s way of teaching men and woman how to become one. Divorce is an activity that rejects God’s way. We can never waver on this understanding even when we talk about exceptions because it reminds us of the serious nature of marriage. Quickly the Pharisees move into theological debate mode and ask the question, “Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?” This question is a slippery one. Notice the issue is not about any certificate. Moses did command a certificate of divorce to be given. But he never commanded divorce. In other words, the commands were more about what you had to do at a minimum if you were going to divorce. But no command to divorce exists. So they have begun to switch the issue instead of dealing with the logic Jesus had just laid out. Jesus masterfully brings them back to the issue. He changes their word “command” into “permitted.” “Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so.” Divorce was never the plan of God, neither the activity of God. But it was eventually permitted because of hard hearts that wanted to sin against God’s way. At the root of every divorce is at least one, hard heart that has chosen sin over God’s way and often there are two hardened hearts. Such hard hearts are the source of much physical and emotional abuse within marriage. There is nothing wrong with God’s plan of teaching us unity. The problem is our heart’s unwillingness to learn.
Now Jesus is going to agree with a reason for divorce and that reason is in the case of sexual immorality. Whether he finds out she was not the chaste virgin she was presented as, or she later involves herself in adultery, somehow sexual immorality is involved. Yet again, Jesus masterfully turns it in a way they were not expecting. Though he concedes an exception, he goes on to interpret divorce far more strictly. For those who divorce for “just any reason,” Jesus reminds them that those who divorce and remarry, for reasons other than the exception, are committing adultery. In other words, man may recognize it as a legitimate divorce, but God doesn’t. The harsh reality is that God is the ultimate judge and he does not recognize divorces that are for just any reason. We will be accountable to God in the end.
The cultural mess we are in today didn’t start in this generation. It has been progressing. Moving backwards we find a time when the issue was not same-sex marriage, but the acceptance of homosexual activity period. This too was a progression from an earlier rejection of God’s way. Let’s go back to the 60’s and the era of free love. It would have appeared in those days that marriage itself was dead. Society struggled over embracing the idea of love outside of marriage without marriage in mind. As we continue our trip into the past we find an era that struggled over the issue of adultery. It is interesting that today there are websites to help you “hook-up” with those who want to have an affair. The idea is often promoted that adultery can be a way to not end your marriage but rather “spice it up.” There was a day in America where you could not get a divorce unless you could show true cause. In fact, there were people who would game the system by agreeing to lie about some alleged affair so that they could get divorced. What you see is that though the sexual issue changes the problem is always the same: hard hearts rejecting God’s way.
Thus the rise of fringe sexual sins within the open culture should not shock us. When homosexuality, pedophilia and other perversions come to the surface they are well on their way to society acceptance. Sure not every person accepts it. But, the overall media, whether news or entertainment, promote the progressive embrace of these things. This is where we are as we ask the question, “Should same-sex marriage be accepted?”
Does This Mean We Should Embrace Same-Sex Marriage?
Is it right to sin further because you have already sinned? Hard hearts are the problem. Should we harden them further? To cast off restraint is to commit spiritual suicide, if we aren’t spiritually dead already. Instead we ought to repent and begin the true, progressive work of going back to God’s ways. Ways that repudiate divorce and are willing work through the pain of becoming one with another person.
Secondly, these arguments are only made for argument’s sake. When they argue that heteros have messed up marriage and thus there is no reason to resist same –sex marriage, they are not seeking truth. They are inconvincible. Like the Pharisees they don’t deal with the logic. Rather they look for any traction in getting a majority to embrace their pet sin. Just because someone uses the Christian code word of “Love” doesn’t mean we need to cave in. When they say that they only want to have the joy of what others have in marriage, don’t go weak in the knees and say, “I’ve never thought about it that way.” We are in rebellion against God’s way and we are going to be held accountable for it in the here and now and in the judgment to come.
Thirdly, to embrace such perversion will only increase the amount of pain and suffering upon men, women and children within our society. When you vote to support this, you are voting to bring more destruction and pain into our society.
Lastly we would be forging our own future shackles. Once same-sex marriage is socially/legally acceptable, all those who disagree will be branded as bigots. In fact, we already are by those who are trying to convince us this is the right thing. Notice the advertisements rarely show a homosexual couple. They always show a priest, parents, or some other third party who is saying to you, “We should same-sex marriage.” Churches and Christians will quickly be encircled in an ever-increasingly pressured environment, until we conform.
Food For Thought:
We are long down the path of rejecting God’s way and forging our own. Let’s not plunge off the cliff. However, neither do we need to get nasty in this debate. This is not a time of attacking others, but is a time of weeping over the hardness of hearts: theirs and ours.
Whether this gets passed or not, someone is going to have to share Jesus with those who are caught up in sexual sin. Maybe your heart is not hard when it comes to following God’s way sexually, but what about evangelically? God’s heart is to save the sexually perverse from the path they are on. He has sent us to share the good news to every sinner, just as someone shared it with us when we were caught up in our sin. We should love them enough to recognize their plight and work to share God’s heart with them. Promoting same-sex marriage is not the answer.